It seemed that just recently the girl was gentle and responsive to her parents, obeying their every word, but today she is irritable and rude. Loses his temper over any minor issue, leaving his father and mother in bewilderment. All these symptoms indicate that she is entering puberty, the process of transitioning from a child to an adult. Therefore, it is necessary to know at what point these changes begin to occur, and what are the signs adolescence in girls to be prepared for this.

Unfortunately, there is no way to understand for sure that the child has entered the period of growing up. No clear time frame or obvious signs. Therefore, mom and dad ask a logical question, At what age does puberty begin in girls?.

Most often, this happens gradually. With the onset of 10-12 years, she begins to change, perceive differently the world and look at things, react more emotionally to events in her life. Psychological changes are followed by physiological changes. Sex hormones are vigorously produced in the girl’s body, giving new shapes and shapes to her figure. The body enters the preparatory phase of maturation.

Next comes the active stage of growing up, when significant changes occur in the girl. The buttocks and thighs become rounder, the breasts become larger, hair growth occurs in the armpits and pubic area. The first menstruation occurs - the main sign of puberty, indicating that the body has begun preparations for motherhood. Later menstrual cycle is done regularly and permanently.

The opinion of psychologists about How long does puberty last for girls?, vary. Worth considering individual characteristics child. Most often, starting at 10-12 years old, it lasts until 16-17. Parents also need to be vigilant during this period. If any abnormalities occur, such as early puberty or premature menstruation, you must immediately contact a specialist to avoid serious consequences. Don't ignore and emotional condition child. After all, constant changes in hormonal levels can cause serious nervous disorders and even severe depression. Which will lead to sleep problems, lack of appetite, low pressure and general weakness.

When do girls end puberty?

And finally, the so-called post-pubertal period begins, symbolizing the transition from adolescence to youth. It occurs at the age of 16-17 years, When do girls end puberty?, and the psychological and physiological formation of the child’s body is completed. The girl turns into a girl.

The specifics of adolescence differ depending on gender. The transitional stage in girls has its own characteristics, primarily related to the reproductive system. What are the developmental features of teenage girls, what situations await parents and what risks arise? How to navigate adolescence wisely? Read more about this.

First, I want to mention that in this article I adhere to classical periodizations, and not modern proposals to extend adolescence to 24 years. You can read about why I hold this opinion in the article.

Based on the analysis of different age periodizations, we can say that in girls, adolescence lasts from 10 (12) years to 15 (16) years. At the same time, the peak of negative reactions is the period from 11 to 13 years. And the peak of emotional instability occurs at 13-15 years. In girls, the negative phase in 70% of cases ends with literary work (letters, diaries, poems).

Signs of adolescence

Signs of adolescence in girls include:

• the appearance of primary and secondary sexual characteristics;
• skin problems;
• the beginning of menstruation;
• change in hair structure;
• the desire to stand out (often manifested by rudeness, aggressiveness, emotionality, and cheeky behavior);
• stubbornness;
• maximalism;
• mood swings;
• a sharp change in habitual behavior, interests, hobbies.

Sexual development

In girls, puberty begins on average at 12 years of age and ends at 16 years of age. Characteristic girlish puberty - the desire to please. To do this, they begin to dress up and take care of themselves. At the same time, they easily and sincerely fall in love and are drawn to the company of boys. However, the development of femininity (gender identification) does not depend on the masculinity of the boys around them.

Sometimes the desire to be perfect and dissatisfaction with oneself result in nervous disorders, such as anorexia. Although it is worth noting that in Lately This affects boys no less.

If you notice or suspect an eating disorder in your daughter, you should immediately contact a specialist.

The onset of menstruation plays a special role in the development of girls:

• On the one hand, this is perceived as a stage of transformation into a woman and is a symbol of sophistication and tenderness. The girl begins to strive for this image. However, this only happens if the girl accepts her changes.
• If a girl cannot accept the onset of menstruation and regards this as closing the door to childhood, then this becomes an obstacle to successful adaptation. Feelings of inferiority, shame, and uncertainty may appear. However, due to the inconsistency of adolescence, pride and self-confidence arise, which aggravates the situation.

An intrapersonal conflict in the sexual (gender, reproductive) sphere can be provoked in a girl by the desire to separate from her mother, superimposed on the desire to be like her (a model woman). The situation can be aggravated by the mother’s desire to make her daughter a copy of herself and the father’s positive attitude towards bringing “his women” together.

Physical development

Peak growth in girls occurs at the age of 10-11 years; by the age of 16, growth slows down significantly. In this case, weight gain occurs from 11 to 14 years.

Formation of immunity

Adolescence marks the final phase of development immune system person. In girls this happens at 12-13 years old. The development of immunity depends on external environmental conditions and heredity. This is why it is important for teenagers:

• eat well and properly;
• exercise;
• avoid bad habits.

The cardiovascular system

Girls experience rapid heartbeat and hypertension. Arterial pressure maximum increased at 13-14 years of age. This gives rise to:

• headache,
• dizziness,
• fatigue.

Muscles

In terms of physical strength, girls reach the level of adult women by the age of 14-15.

Breath

The respiratory organs grow. In girls, the chest type of breathing predominates. Girls tolerate lack of air worse during physical activity.

Emotional sphere

Girls experience any emotions more clearly than boys. They perceive everything as highly significant, vital, and important.

• The peak of emotionality occurs at the age of 13-14, then decreases.
• A new surge occurs at 18 years of age.

Often these outbursts are called the crisis of adolescence. Emotional and mood swings are characteristic: sadness and despair are replaced by euphoria and joy. In general, girls have a predominant manic-depressive state, which is caused by hormonal and somatic changes with low self-awareness and acceptance.

Health facts (mental, physical)

If we talk in general about the health of modern teenage girls, we can note several disappointing facts (data from a study by M. B. Krasnikova):

• slow pace of physical development;
• disturbances in the development of the reproductive system;
• an abundance of chronic and recurrent diseases;
• psychosomatic problems;
• prevalence of sexually transmitted infections;
• early pregnancies;
• deviant behavior (alcoholism, drug addiction, substance abuse);
• problems with social integration;
• Every eighth girl has disorders of sexual development or gynecological problems.

It is noted that these facts are associated with problems mental development teenage girls. This occurs under the influence of destructive family education, the decline of morality in society, the availability of information against the backdrop of a small amount of organized propaganda of useful material.

The role of the family in the formation of a teenage girl

The task of parents in solving this problem is to contribute, that is, first of all, to create:

• favorable intra-family relationships;
• psychologically comfortable conditions for the development of a teenage girl.

It is also necessary to conduct educational conversations, promptly introduce the girl to the changes in her body (primarily talk about menstruation, pregnancy), describe the pros and cons of these changes, that is, the advantages and risks.

It is important to show value by personal example. healthy image life. It is unacceptable for your words and actions to diverge. Divergence of parental positions in education is also unacceptable.

A common but erroneous opinion is that in the family there should be prohibitions on discussing any topics, for example, sex. Or sometimes parents feel embarrassed. There shouldn't be any taboos. A girl should and has the right to know about her function as a woman and expectant mother. Illiteracy is often the root cause. If you can’t talk on your own, give them a book, videotape, or disk.

1. If the girl’s problems are far-fetched, but easily solvable, then this needs to be done. It is important to see the fine line between dangerous behavior and acceptable behavior. For example, if a girl is dissatisfied with herself because of her hairstyle, then you can change it. If available real problem excess weight, then the smart way is to lose weight. But if a girl completely stops eating, then prevention (treatment) of anorexia needs to begin.
2. You can't leave the upbringing of your daughter to your mother. The father is an equally important figure. This is a sample male role. It is important for dads not to be afraid of their growing daughter and not to run away from her, but at the same time not to fall into total guardianship and prohibitions. Father – support, care, protection (if necessary).
3. Together, cope with teenage criticality and maximalism. Analyze all situations and clearly demonstrate the duality of each event and step. There are two medals for everything. Describe your real situations and feelings, but remember that your child is unique (he is not you).
4. Give the girl the right to choose, but with further responsibility.
5. The main tool in establishing contact is dialogue. Always. Even if the child is screaming. He is not an adult yet, so he can be forgiven (hormones,). You are an adult and have no right to stoop to that level. But you can’t swallow it either. You can report what upset you. If you can’t speak calmly yet, leave, calm down and talk through the situation later.
6. Don't you dare read your daughter's diary. I understand that you want to know what she breathes, but this is not an option. There can be only one exception - you are 100% sure that your daughter is in danger. If you are simply interested in what is happening in her life, then you will have to endure and find ways to make your daughter want to tell about it.
7. Remember that the teenager himself does not understand what is happening to him. The question “What’s wrong with you?” won't improve the situation.

Results

Self-knowledge is the basis of adolescence. For girls, planning for the future plays a leading role. family life, searching for a potential husband, creating your ideal. The girl evaluates her success through success in interpersonal relationships.

The entire adolescence can be described as critical. Don't make things worse. What a teenage girl expects most from you wise advice, support, understanding.

Adolescence is in many ways similar for boys and girls, so in addition I recommend reading the article. There you will also find additional recommendations for interacting with your young lady and references to literature.

Be who you want your child to be! After all, he will still copy the main features from you.

For every mother, her beloved son always remains a baby. She remembers every moment of his life: from birth to his first significant victories. And, often, the beginning of adolescence in a boy takes his mother by surprise. This is a difficult period of discovery for both the child and the parents. The family structure built over the years is disrupted, peace and serenity are replaced by quarrels, screams, misunderstandings and a blank wall of grievances on both sides. At what age does puberty begin for boys? How to pass this serious test? How to behave with a teenager? Is it possible to survive my son’s adolescence and remain friends with him? We will try to answer all these questions in our article.

When does puberty begin for boys?

The transitional age for boys occurs differently for everyone and depends, first of all, on physiological characteristics child - namely from the functioning of the hormonal system. It is the sex hormones that are responsible for the restructuring of the body that leads to external and internal changes boys. Also, an important role in entering puberty is influenced by living conditions, level of physical development, emotional and mental condition child, heredity and even ethnicity. Adverse habits - smoking, alcohol, etc. - have a rather serious impact on the maturation of boys. These factors inhibit the process of sexual development, because they inhibit the child’s hormonal system.

As a rule, the beginning of puberty in boys is between 10-12 years, and by the age of 15 the boy becomes sexually mature. However, complete maturation of the body occurs only at the age of 23-25. These indicators are averaged and deviations from it by 2-3 years are not critical.

Signs of adolescence in boys

Parents raising young boys often wonder when adolescence begins in boys and what are the signs of the beginning of this period. The transitional age for a boy is a rather long process, which can be roughly fit into the time frame from 9 to 17 years. The peak of these changes generally occurs between 12 and 14 years of age. If we adhere to the official terminology of psychologists, then adolescence is the time period during which a child experiences puberty, accompanied by rapid physical development and excessive hormone production. Very clear formulation, isn't it? But in reality, everything is not easy. A teenager, who just yesterday was a sweet and affectionate son, suddenly becomes withdrawn, aggressive, even hysterical at some points. He is rude for any reason, is embarrassed about his appearance and strives with all his might to position himself as an adult independent man, absolutely independent from parents. He seems like a stranger to himself in this family and the world at large. The main task of parents is to support and be able to accept the child with all his changes, fears and complexes. After all, he is still your son, who cannot cope with the sudden onset of growing up.

Physiological features of adolescence in boys

A difficult age for a child begins with a physical restructuring of the body, which is accompanied by the following signs:

1. A sharp jump in growth. From the age of 12, a boy can annually gain up to 10 cm in height. Bones are actively growing and muscles are developing.
2. Weight loss. Due to increased growth, the child’s body does not have time to absorb and store useful substances and microelements. All energy is spent on bone growth, so during the transition period boys experience lack of weight, in some cases even dystrophy.
3. Changes in body relief. The figure of a teenager begins to develop into a “male” type, the shoulders become wider and the hips narrower.
4. "Breaking" of the voice. The voice becomes rougher and lower in pitch. Usually this process extends for 1-2 years until the end of puberty.
5. Body hair growth. Hair begins to grow in intimate area and armpits. Later a fluff appears above upper lip and hair on the arms and legs.
6. Enlargement of the genital organs. From 10 to 13 years of age, the genital organs enlarge and pigmentation of the scrotum appears.
7. The appearance of acne on the face and body. Active work sebaceous glands provokes acne and blackheads on the face, which some teenagers struggle with for years, while for others everything goes away after a few months.
8. Uncontrollable ejaculation during sleep. During adolescence, a boy is faced with the phenomenon of wet dreams. In fact, this is a completely normal part of growing up.

Psychological problems of adolescence in boys

Happenings to the child physiological changes, determine the behavior of a teenager and have an active influence on his psycho-emotional state. In a short time

Over a period of time, colossal transformations occur in the young man’s body, to which the child’s psyche still does not have time to adapt. The body rebels and manifests itself in a very diverse way:

1. Emotional instability. Sudden changes in mood, from calm to storm, are a common situation in a home where there is a teenager. An ordinary remark provokes either tears or a desire to argue.
2. Coarseness. Obedient child overnight he turned into a rude and cynical boor. All his words carry a brightly negative connotation. The whole environment of the young man suffers from rudeness: parents, brothers and sisters, peers, teachers.
3. Aggression. Dissatisfaction with oneself and rejection of one’s new changed body in many cases results in aggression towards others. For some, these are just school fights for leadership in the class, while for others, serious offenses are brought to the police. I would like to note that aggression is still a natural manifestation of adolescence in a boy. He becomes a man and tries on a life model of behavior, at this moment his future male strategy is laid. Of course, you need to be able to distinguish natural aggression, which helps you determine your role in life, from its extreme manifestations - cruelty and the desire to commit crimes.
4. Attraction to opposite sex. Unexpectedly, the young man begins to experience an irresistible attraction to girls. At this moment, the basic norms of behavior with the opposite sex are laid down. Errors and failures are perceived sharply and painfully.
5. Sui cid. For a teenager this seems like the most easy way out from a vicious circle of misunderstanding and problems. Unfortunately, in Russia, the percentage of teenage suicides is increasing every year.

The boy's attempts to prove his masculinity to the whole world cause particular problems for the parents. The teenager begins to position himself as an adult man, a rapid reassessment of values ​​and a change in life guidelines occurs. He tries to independently resolve all issues and overcome the difficulties he encounters alone. And these attempts always worry parents very much, because as soon as a boy is faced with a question that he cannot solve due to a lack of life experience, he becomes even more aggressive and withdrawn.

Errors in the behavior of parents of a child of adolescence

Probably not a single family has been able to easily survive the transitional age of their child and avoid mistakes. Moreover, each child is individual, each case must be considered individually. There is no classification and pattern of parental errors that would be an assistant in such difficult situation. But we can distinguish two models of parental behavior that are definitely unacceptable and lead to even greater problems and misunderstanding in communicating with their child.

1. Loyalty and unconditional acceptance of the situation

Faced with changes in their child, parents rush to sources of information. In a short period of time, they read articles on the Internet, books by famous psychologists, and conduct a quick survey of friends and relatives who at one time experienced the problems of adolescence. Unfortunately, from all this abundance of information, they take away the main idea - adolescence is not eternal, you need to love and endure. Such parents remain unperturbed when faced with a child’s rudeness towards them, calm when their son brings home only bad grades from school or does not spend the night at home. They take an observer position and wait patiently for their sweetheart to return to them. kind child. This role is fundamentally wrong and a failure!

Yes, a teenager needs a lot of love. Yes, he needs understanding and patience. But don’t expect that adolescence will end as suddenly as it began and everything will return to normal. The child is changing and will never be the same again! He, like air, needs help, advice, guidance and life guidelines. Without them, he will not be able to navigate the world that has become so unfamiliar and alien. It depends on the parents whether a teenager will step into adulthood as a harmonious and happy person.

1. Severity and rejection

Another variant of erroneous parental behavior that leads to serious problems with a teenager is the manifestation of excessive severity. Such parents adhere to a despotic style of upbringing and believe that all the difficulties of adolescence are far-fetched and the source of their appearance is shortcomings in upbringing. They harshly and categorically suppress stubbornness, self-will, and the desire for independence in a teenager. A child in such a family feels rejected and misunderstood, and sees two ways out of the situation: to submit or to resist. Both options do not lead to personality harmonization. Submission and suppression of a teenager as an individual is a direct road to suicide. Resistance to parental will can lead to drugs, alcohol and, as a result, problems with the law or even the death of the child.

How can a boy survive adolescence and remain friends?

Physiological and psycho-emotional changes make adolescence a very difficult period in a boy’s life. How to help him overcome this hard times? How not to lose your authority and remain friends? Every parent asks himself these questions. It is difficult to be a true friend to a teenager, but it is still worth trying. Sooner or later, all parental attempts will be rewarded with the open and happy smile of a matured son.

Trusting relationship with a child- this is the basis on which fragile mutual understanding is built during adolescence. Of course, it is necessary to build these relationships from early childhood. If this didn’t work with a baby, then most likely it won’t work with a teenager. It doesn’t matter who the child trusts more, dad or mom, the main thing is that this person exists. And it is through him that everything should be heard important points and solutions. This way they will be easier to perceive and take action. You need to prepare for adolescence in advance - listen to your son. No matter how busy the day is, set aside half an hour to communicate with your child. This time should belong only to him and you. No questions about school, no moralizing. The topic and flow of the conversation is determined by the child, and the parent must be an active listener and enthusiastic spectator. Make such communication daily, a good tradition from childhood, then the teenager will easily and naturally talk about his affairs and problems.

Interests of a teenager should become the interests of the parents. Very often, parents do not know what their children are interested in. Many people only name the computer, without even suspecting which sites fall into the category of frequently visited sites. Share all the interests of the children, do it sincerely. If your son is interested in cycling, buy an iron horse for yourself and ride together on weekends. Swimming, playing musical instruments, fixing a car - all this should become your joint hobby. This is the only way to preserve the fragile adult-child connection, which in most cases breaks during adolescence. A special place in the life of a teenager, especially a boy, is occupied by friends, whom parents must know by sight. It's good if all friends come into the house. This allows parents to unobtrusively keep their son’s environment under control.

Social media- the main competitor of parents in the struggle for the soul of a teenager. IN modern world without social networks Not a single adult can cope, let alone children who strive to imitate their parents in everything. If your child has his own page, be sure to add him as a friend. This should be done at the age of 8-10 years, when children still easily allow their parents into their lives. In the future, this will allow you to quietly look into the secret thoughts and fears of a growing man. Always look at how a teenager lives on the Internet, what interests him, what posts he posts. This attentiveness in some cases will help protect the child from many harmful hobbies. There is a lot of debate about the dangers of the Internet and computer games. Many videos have been filmed and posted on this topic, teenagers who killed their parents because of the ban on computer games, often began to appear in crime news. Clearly regulating the time you can spend at the computer will help you avoid these problems. A teenager should know how much time he is allowed to spend on the computer. And no pleas or persuasion should influence these regulations.

Independent decision making- the natural right of a growing boy. To avoid serious and irreversible mistakes, allow him to make decisions in the so-called “comfort zone”. Where the mistake will not become fatal, and the teenager will be able to bear responsibility for the decision he makes. His desire for independence will be satisfied, and an understanding of the responsibility that inexorably follows the adoption of this or that decision will force him to approach any problem seriously and thoughtfully.

The period of emotional storms gives rise to a feeling of general misunderstanding and rejection in a teenager. So when you encounter a problem difficult age, try to find mutual language with baby. Spend more time together - go out into nature, go to the cinema, take a walk, visit entertainment centers or an ice skating rink. If the situation has reached a dead end, take a short vacation and go on vacation or go on a short hike. The main thing is more communication and joint positive emotions. Try to find something that your child really likes and channel all your energy in the right direction. By doing what you love, a teenager can relax and get emotional release. Try to listen to your child and give him the opportunity to grow, make early mistakes and learn from them.

The difficulties of adolescence frighten many parents of teenagers, but if you show maximum patience and endurance, then this period will pass with minimal shocks for all of you.

Love your children. Love the rough and tumble, the stubborn and shy, the cynical and so vulnerable. Help them survive adolescence with your wisdom and boundless love.

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Instructions

Doctors conventionally divide the transition period into three subperiods. The first is considered the stage of body preparation (at about 10-11 years), the second is the stage itself (12-14 years). The third - post-transitional (15-17) - means the final transformation of a girl into a girl.

It is impossible to say definitively when adolescence will end. Some girls mature early, others are late. In addition, since girls are ahead of boys in development, their puberty is less intense and lasts 1-2 years less. This concerns the awakening of libido, which can only appear by the age of 18-20, that is, when they leave adolescence.

To understand when the end of adolescence occurs in girls, it is necessary to trace all three stages. At about 9-11 years old, a girl’s figure begins to lose its angularity, acquiring rounded outlines - the pelvis expands, the buttocks fill out. Between 10 and 12 years of age, hair may appear around the nipples, pubic area, and armpits. Around this time, breasts begin to form. It’s not noticeable yet, but it’s already aching, itching, and swelling.

With the onset of menstruation, the girl enters adolescence. This can happen at 12-13 years old or later - at 14-15. Stabilization of the cycle does not occur at any particular age. Typically, menstruation returns to normal 2-3 years after the first menstruation. This means the transformation of a girl into a girl, that is, the end of adolescence.

And yet it is quite difficult to set a specific time frame. If 200-300 years ago, girls who started having regula were immediately sought to be married off, considering them adults, today they remain children in the eyes of their parents. Indeed, having fully matured physically, a girl can remain small mentally.

To more accurately determine your daughter’s exit from adolescence, you need to carefully monitor her behavior. Usually, when entering puberty, girls become vulnerable, withdrawn, and aggressive. Any remark about their appearance or actions can drive them into hysterics. And non-compliance with fictitious canons of beauty can lead to thoughts of suicide.

You need to pay unobtrusive attention to your daughter who has reached puberty. It is at this time that she needs support most. The mother should explain to the girl in advance what exactly will happen to her body and teach her to accept herself with all her flaws. In this case, adolescence will be more painless for both the girl and her parents.

By helping your daughter survive this age, you will definitely understand when the end of puberty comes. The girl will become affectionate again, will outgrow her complexes, and her behavior will become more balanced.

Sources:

• Transitional age in girls
• Transitional age in teenagers

Most parents are afraid of adolescence in children. There are stereotypes that this period must be associated with many problems that become causes of quarrels, scandals and rash actions. However, it is not worth generalizing to all people in this case. Transition does not occur at a strictly defined age and occurs individually for each person.

What is adolescence

In a broad sense, this is the moment a child turns into a... From a psychological point of view, this period is defined as the child’s desire to master adult life, the desire to be as independent as possible from his parents and to take a certain place in society.

The transitional age is also associated with a piquant moment - during this period the teenager reaches puberty. Most often, this fact becomes the cause of constant worries and, accordingly, conflicts with other people.

Transitional age in girls

In children, adolescence begins several years earlier than in children. Puberty in them it is expressed in the onset of menstruation and a change in body proportions. At the same time, psychological changes in the body occur. In girls, puberty lasts only one to two years, and can even last for five years.

Girls during adolescence begin to be critical of their appearance. This is due not only to the traditional appearance of acne, which causes a lot of discomfort, but also to the feeling of unrequited love.

The transitional age for girls usually occurs from 10 to 14 years. However, there are exceptions that relate not only to the age of puberty, but also to the behavior of girls. Some young representatives of the fair sex experience real delight in the process of breast enlargement or hip rounding.

Transitional age in boys

In boys, puberty usually occurs between the ages of 12 and 20. Most often it is celebrated at 14-18 years of age. The most unusual change in the body for a teenager is the formation of sexual functions. Development of characteristic chemical substances may be accompanied sudden changes mood, as well as sudden attacks of aggression. The boy does not understand what is happening to him, and perceives all changes too painfully. Some people cannot control their sex drive, which makes them feel uncomfortable.

general information

Regardless of what age puberty occurs, it most often causes numerous problems. The child is almost constantly in an irritated state. The task of parents is to provide maximum support and try to distract the teenager from problems. Talk to your child more, but do not try to exert psychological influence or pressure. Otherwise, it may come to the point that your child decides to leave home in search of adult life. Such an act will result in serious trouble.

Do not think that absolutely all children become uncontrollable and problematic during adolescence. There are often cases when parents do not even notice this period.

Video on the topic

Tip 3: How parents can survive their child’s adolescence

All parents need to prepare themselves in advance for the time when the child reaches adolescence in order to know how to calmly act in a given situation.

Instructions

Always be open to communication with your teen. He must be sure that he can turn to his parents on any issue without encountering premature criticism and reproaches. Therefore, remain calm and reasonable. Support your child and do not abandon him without attention. Hard time.

Teenagers are going through the time of growing up, so they demand respect for themselves, they do not tolerate being treated like children, they demand that adults speak as equals. The time for education is over, the teenager can be given unobtrusive advice, share personal experience and gently guide him along the right path. Forcing people to comply with demands and instructions is useless. You can only come to an agreement with a teenager.

A teenager must learn independence and responsibility. Expand his personal space, assign new responsibilities to the child, let him learn responsibility by carrying out any important assignments concerning the family and home. Encourage your teen to participate in family meetings and ask for his or her opinion on this or that issue.

No matter how much a child strives for independence, always be ready to help him. You should not be accused of stupidity and inexperience. That's why parents exist, so that right moment help your child. You shouldn't punish him by throwing him in difficult situation, be there and next time the child will immediately come to you for advice to avoid possible problems.

All people make various mistakes in their youth, thus a person studies the morals of people and gains experience. Don't try to protect your child from mistakes with everyone possible ways. Parents cannot protect their children from the world forever. Faced with reality adult life, first serious problems and failures can quickly break a person.

Trust your children. Do not interrogate with bias about the child’s personal life, his friends’ hobbies, do not intrude, do not be offended if the child does not want to discuss any topics or does not find time specifically allocated to communicate with you. Invite them to do something together, this will make it easier to start and maintain a casual conversation.

Video on the topic

Transfer from childhood By adolescence, it is accompanied by intensive growth, which creates the need to replace furniture in the room of an older child. At the same time, you need to change the interior of the room.

You will need

• - furniture for a teenager’s room;
• - accessories for a sports corner;
• - technique;
• - lighting.

Instructions

The smallest one is traditionally designated as a nursery room in the house or . But teenage life and hobbies require more space. If you have the opportunity, “sacrifice” your bedroom to create a room for your older child.

A daughter is growing in the family, your beauty, your favorite. You rejoice at her successes and cope with minor troubles together. However, time passes, and it’s time to think about the fact that the child will soon enter adolescence.

What changes occur in the girl’s body?

At the age of 11-12 years, the work of the thyroid gland and pituitary gland to produce hormones increases. This causes rapid and disproportionate growth of the body. The girl spends a lot of time in front of the mirror, studying the changes in her appearance, which often frighten her. Therefore, you should be careful with comments about your child's appearance.
Mood swings and irritability are also associated with an increased release of sex hormones into the blood, due to which the child acquires secondary sexual characteristics. Hormones cause excess sexual energy, which the girl cannot realize for known reasons. All this powerful potential spills out in the form of outbreaks of aggression, insolence and disobedience. Parents should remember that during adolescence the function of the adrenal cortex sharply increases. This means that the child is constantly under stress.

How to help a teenage girl overcome this difficult period?

Close to peers. It is very important for a teenager to be “like everyone else.” Therefore, pay attention that your daughter is dressed as is customary in her environment and has all the accessories that are significant among teenagers. This is very important: the “have-nots” become objects of ridicule and persecution.
If a girl’s teeth, skin, or hair are not in order, do not ignore it. She will avoid communication and be shy around people. And the attitude towards withdrawn teenagers among their peers varies from indifference to open bullying.
Encourage your daughter's interest in sports, dance and music. Let her attend clubs in the system additional education, tries himself in different types activities. Encourage her to participate in school competitions, olympiads, and competitions.
Tips for parents. I can tell by own experience that if you are authoritative for your child, then there will be no big problems. But if there was no time to communicate with her before, then adolescence the girl is unlikely to let you get close.
Your daughter shared some “terrible secret” with you. Keep it, don't tell anyone. The girl will appreciate your reliability and will trust you with more serious things in the future.
I would like to draw the attention of some parents: sometimes you see a girl with quite ordinary external characteristics, and even a C student, and her self-esteem is inflated to indecent proportions. Therefore, do not praise your child. Such girls are touchy, childish, and have poor understanding of real life. In addition, the people around you will view this behavior clearly negatively.
I do not advise readers of MirSovetov to fall into another opposite. You should not shame the girl on every occasion, humiliate her, or speak disparagingly about her appearance and studies. Under these conditions, a ready victim grows up with an inescapable feeling of guilt. She cannot stand up for herself, she rushes to any man as soon as he treats her kindly. He agrees to any job, but does not know how to demand decent pay or self-respect. Later comes the realization of a ruined life with all the ensuing consequences...
It is important to maintain a balance that preserves the authority of the parents. At this age, it is important to instill in the girl some stereotypes and behavior patterns. But this must be done in a friendly manner, without coercion.

Get your girl used to daily self-care

Face. Clean, elastic, delicate is the best decoration for a teenage girl. My daughter and I have a rule of four:

• do not touch your face with dirty hands;
• do not use any radical remedies (this includes scrubs, lotions on alcohol based, a now popular designer soap, no one knows what it’s made from);
• monitor the work;
• wash off makeup at night.

To soften and nourish facial skin, we use ordinary domestic creams with a shelf life of no more than a year, and from imported ones it is better to choose skin care products for newborns. More gentle formulas are used in their production.
The problem with many teenagers is acne. In general, you should not focus on acne, because... This is the work of hormones, not a disturbed metabolism. But since you can’t forbid squeezing, I advise MirSovetov readers to teach their daughter how to do it with the least loss. Before the procedure, let him wash his hands with soap. Painful areas need to be wiped eau de toilette with a high alcohol content. If these are black comedones, you need to steam the skin by applying a towel dipped in hot water to it. After removing the acne, the skin is again treated with alcohol. It is better to do all manipulations in the evening - overnight damaged skin will survive.
Hair. Focus on hygiene. If long hair You can wash it 2-3 times a week, then short ones – every other day. Now big choice shampoos with neutral pH. Help your daughter choose a hairstyle that suits her face; this is now easily done using a computer program. It's better not to rush. Explain to your teenager how being in the sun or in the cold with your head uncovered can have a harmful effect on your hair.
It happens that girls in adolescence begin to experience it more intensely. You need to visit a doctor, but we dealt with this problem classical methods. Brew a handful of birch or nettle leaves in 2 liters of water and rinse your hair after washing for a month. Another proven recipe for rinsing is to boil burdock roots (a glass of dry raw material in 2-3 liters of water) for 15 minutes and strain. The healing effect of these procedures continues until the next one.
Hands. Not every girl can boast classic shape hands, but their condition depends only on her efforts. The first rule is cleanliness. The second is the ideal condition of the nails.
Daily nail care is very important for a girl who wants to have beautiful hands. I bought a quality one for my daughter manicure set and taught her how to do it simple manicure. She immediately explained that at her age the best option would be clear nail polish delicate shades. To develop finger strength and flexibility, I suggest exercises that we do every day:

1. Clench your fists as if you were quickly grabbing something out of thin air – 10 times.
2. Unclench your clenched fists with a sharp throwing motion, as if you were splashing water in someone’s face - 10 times.
3. Spread the fingers of your left hand. Now with two fingers right hand try to slowly spread every two fingers on your left hand to the maximum distance. Change hand.
4. Squeeze a small rubber ball in your hand each time with different strength - 10 times. The same thing - with the other hand.

Intimate hygiene. Now I’m going to say something seditious, but I think it’s unnecessary for a 12-year-old girl to wash herself every day with soap or gel. The best option is day clean water, day - with soap, but without fanaticism. Why? Daily washing of the perineum “to the point of squeaking” is unphysiological and causes changes in the microflora of the mucous membrane. Underwear we change every day.
Menses. At 11-16 years old in the body future woman is happening dramatic change- Menstruation begins. Prepare your daughter for this in advance, explain the mechanism of menstruation. Calm down - many are afraid to bleed. Don’t spare money on good pads: sometimes a girl doesn’t sleep well, afraid of getting her bed linen dirty.
Toilet genitals in critical days carried out as needed.
It is strictly forbidden to douche, because... During menstruation, the cervix is ​​slightly open. Douching is generally contraindicated for girls.
Tampons are now being produced different sizes, so even a virgin can choose the right one. It’s another matter when, together with the tampon that the girl held in her hand, opening the door of the school toilet, a huge number of microorganisms enter the vagina. Therefore, the girl should be explained about tampons, but their use should be prohibited. I only allowed my daughter to use pads.

Communication Lessons

Children adopt the communication style and behavior of their parents. You can be rude in a store, and your daughter will be rude. Are you afraid of conflicts and prefer to remain silent? And this will be recorded in the child’s memory as a priority.
I tried to convey to my daughter simple truths: “Treat people the way you would want them to treat you.”
We live among people, and all our actions have a boomerang effect. They come back to us, good and bad. You said offensive word addressed to a classmate or even a teacher. Maybe she just wanted to show off her wit among her peers? And it came to her, and even with other people’s speculations. And you became enemies, and besides, her relatives, friends and acquaintances were offended for the victim...
I advise my daughter, in the midst of a quarrel with a friend, to shut up and count to ten to herself. During this time, the resentment will subside a little, the mind will clear, and the right words will be found.
Relationships with young people. This topic is gradually becoming the most important among teenage girls. I think there is no need to remind readers of MirSovetov about the importance of maintaining the trust of their daughter, so that she is not afraid to be frank. If she has a young man, keep the situation under control, but within reasonable limits. Let him come to the house, find out more about his family. You need to gently, unobtrusively tell your daughter what a girl should do in a given situation, give examples from her life.
The mother must warn the girl about everything possible dangers(venereal diseases, early pregnancy, the possibility of violence). From early childhood, I taught my daughter to resist any touch that she did not like. The rapist would rather prefer an unrequited victim than one who will break free, scream loudly, scream, or hit.
Teen sex. One of the most powerful human instincts is the instinct of procreation. Parents usually believe that teenagers have sex out of great love. In fact, everything is much simpler. The most common reasons are curiosity, the desire to spite adults, the desire to be “like everyone else,” and simply thoughtlessness, the inability to refuse.
My neighbor has a daughter, a quiet, calm girl. There were no signs of trouble, she didn’t meet anyone, she sat at home in the evenings. When they missed it, it was too late to terminate the pregnancy. It turned out that everything happened on the wires cousin into the army, and specifically with my brother. A boy was born. The young mother recently turned 15 years old. Daddy is afraid to go home from work because... the newly-made grandfather promised to rip his head off...
When I had a suspicion that my daughter’s relationship with the boy had gone far, I sat her down next to her and very simply outlined the principle and methods of contraception. Today's young men, for the most part, do not like to “stress” and will very easily put all the consequences of unprotected sex on the girl’s shoulders.
“Advice” from more experienced friends can lead to disastrous consequences. Among teenagers, there are such strange recipes for getting pregnant, such as injecting foam into the vagina, douching mineral water, using deodorant or air freshener instead of spermicide.
I believe that this is not a case where you can beat around the bush. If you yourself cannot talk to her about this topic, ask your sister, eldest daughter, grandmother - as long as the girl trusts this person. The health and future fate of your daughter is at stake.

No one has canceled women's responsibilities

Cleaning and order in the house. The future housewife should be taught to do household chores from early childhood. If you followed your daughter around until she was 14 years old, washed her things, cleaned her room, then now don’t expect any housekeeping zeal from her. In any case, the girl should know the basic truths of maintaining order in the house: “Every thing has its place”, “Clean not where they clean, but where they don’t litter.”
The American “FlyLady” (“Jet Housewives”) system gives good results. Its principle lies in getting rid of unnecessary things, separating cleaning zones and the ability to “steer” time. As a result maximum result achieved with minimal effort.
Let's go to the kitchen. The incompetent person in the university dormitory makes a pathetic impression, youth party, visiting under the watchful gaze of the future mother-in-law. She doesn’t know how to cook dumplings, the pancakes stick to the frying pan, the milk runs away... Some white-handed girls also flirt with their inability to cope with life. The daughter’s “handlessness” is a harsh reproach from the mother. Life will sooner or later force a woman to do kitchen work. “If your mother doesn’t teach you, your strap will teach you.” From childhood, involve your daughter in washing dishes and teach her to cook simple food. Let her have her own signature dish.
Needlework. With stupid hands there is no smart head. Both lively girls and quiet quiet ones in adolescence begin to be interested in applied arts. Encourage such initiative. It is the direct responsibility of every mother to instill in her daughter at least basic needlework skills. Sewing, embroidery, and knitting not only produce unique designer items and satisfy the aesthetic sense, but also teach a girl to be attentive and patient. Small repetitive movements have an anti-stress effect on the nervous system. And once again I will remind readers of MirSovetov about simple rule: It’s easier not to force, but to show by example. If you sit down to watch a movie together, instead of chips or popcorn, take a canvas with floss, and let your daughter knit.
Get your young needlewoman a work basket, the role of which can be played by a spacious box or casket. Let her have her own sewing supplies, hooks and knitting needles! Such equipment will force her to return to the work she has begun again and again. If a girl knows how to insert an elastic band, hem a skirt and knit socks herself, this is already a path to independence.
Encourage your daughter to participate in various product shows. This attracts the attention of both peers and adults. They begin to treat the girl with respect and admire her talents; they want to be friends with her. This is a child, his activity in society.

We all want our daughters to live in harmony with themselves, with the world and with their nature. And it is in our power to help them acquire the skills and abilities that will help them overcome the difficulties of life.