How many years of living together are turning points. crises of family life over the years. See with new eyes

Having met for a long time, young people decide to marry. And then came that bright moment when two loving people became one. But in fact, further family life will not be an unbreakable holiday. No matter how people love each other, no matter what character they have, both a happy life together and periods of crisis await them ahead. Psychologists identify the following crisis periods in marriage by year:

First year;
3 years;
5–7 years;
11 years;
from 15 to 20 years old.

First marriage crisis

The first crisis usually happens at the end of the first year of marriage. And if everything was great before marriage, then the first year becomes a difficult test for both spouses. During this period, the grinding of young people takes place. They get used to each other's habits.

In this case, only the experience of other close people, for example, parents or grandparents, can help. Psychologists say that newlyweds unconsciously look back at the relationship of their parents and in some ways even copy them.

After 2-3 years of marriage

Crisis relationships during this period of time usually develop due to the appearance of the first child in the family. Now new parents have to try on new roles that often scare them. Most of all at this time, a man experiences a crisis, as the usual way of life is changing. He lacks attention from his wife, who now directed all her strength and love towards the child.

A man becomes capricious, like a child, thereby drawing attention to himself, he gets annoyed over trifles. With each passing day, internal indignation and a sense of deprivation and dislike are growing.

Psychologists advise spending as much time as possible together, taking care of the child together (by enlisting your husband to help, you will spend time together and relieve yourself, albeit a small, but still burden).

Crisis in marriage 5 years

It's been 5 years since you got married. By this time, the child is already growing up, and, as a rule, the husband is no longer so actively helping his wife to cope with the whole household. By this time, a woman’s supply of moral and physical strength is depleted, she, more than ever, needs the help of a loved one. It is on this basis that various quarrels and conflicts arise.

In order to normalize relations in the family, a man needs to take on some of the responsibilities (this does not have to be some kind of global business).

Crisis 7 years of marriage

After 7 years, the spouses get used to each other, get fed up with intimate life and just get tired of living together. Passion has already left the relationship, they are already calmly treating each other. Habits and tastes have long been studied. If the spouses have little or no common hobbies, topics and interests, then they become uninteresting and bored in such a relationship. All this often leads strong, at first glance, relationships to disintegration. This is a crisis of uniformity.

Spouses feel the need for something new and unknown, so it was at this time that they had relationships on the side. If a man is happy with everything (there is a lover who gives new emotions and a peaceful home), then a woman is most often ready to take a decisive step (leave her husband, who does not show interest, for a new boyfriend).

If this crisis is not overcome, the family will fall apart. Try to bring romance into your routine family life, spend your free time together, and in order not to be bored, spend it interestingly.

Crisis 10 - 12 years

Having lived together for more than 10 years, the spouses calm down. It seems to them that nothing will be able to place further happiness, but this is not so. This crisis falls just at the age of the spouses 30 years or a little more. It is then that people begin to rethink their lives. There is dissatisfaction with one's life, financial situation and sometimes with oneself.

Spouses begin to measure achievements and prove to each other that they are worth something. Therefore, a conflict arises.

If no one goes to meet each other, then you can conflict for the rest of your life. A woman in this case can go to a meeting, since men are unbending, it is not easy for them to accept defeat. Agree that he has achieved a lot, that he is talented in his field. This will help increase his self-esteem and avoid the appearance of a rival on the horizon.

This crisis may come a little later - in 13 years. 15 years together is a very difficult time for the whole family, children have a transitional age, and parents have a midlife crisis.

Crisis of 20–25 years

This crisis arises against the background of the formation of independence of grown children. They have already received education and are trying to start their independent lives. Some children start a family, while others simply begin to live separately. If the family was kept only thanks to the children, then the parents understand that nothing else binds them.

Spouses are advised to take a closer look at each other, because often people, after a long period of time, fall in love with their partners again.

What years do psychologists consider the most difficult? It is most difficult for families in a year, 3, 6 years and 9 years.

Video on the topic of the article

Any relationship goes through certain stages of development, which are carried out in due time and under certain circumstances. The same applies to the relationship of spouses: any even ideal family relationships(which in itself is nonsense) there are certain periods of crisis: those moments when it seems that the marriage is bursting at the seams. Moreover, such catastrophic situations can occur in families repeatedly throughout life. For any long-term relationship, such moments are normal. The outcome of the situation depends on how the spouses behave and how worthily they can get out of a difficult situation. I want to say right away that family crisis- this is a common case, but it does not mean at all that it must accompany your marriage without fail and at the exact age periods. Some families, although very few, manage to avoid family breakdown or mitigate the negative impact of crisis moments on family relationships.

What exist marriage crises, what are their typical causes and what are the signs of these hard times?

- this is the first year of life together, the time of "recognition" of the partner on the other side. The candy-bouquet period with its sweet memories is left behind, and a young couple looks confidently into the future of his marriage. As a rule, the first year of marriage is one of the most difficult periods, when young people look at each other not with the eyes of happy lovers who idealize each other, but with the eyes of mature individuals trying to create a new “cell of society”. Relations during this period become shaky, and quarrels in the family have a domestic character, because young people get to know each other from the other side - the inner one. If, before marriage, spouses have not learned to give in to each other and wisely resolve conflict situations, which is usually acquired with years and experience, this becomes the cause of conflicts.

The situation becomes more complicated due to misunderstanding: one wants to dominate the other, the wife wants to get pregnant, and the husband believes that it is too early for this, it is not possible to distribute household responsibilities. The first mistake of a young family: the desire to intervene in the conflict of parents. At the same time, the wife seeks protection from her own, the husband - support and understanding. That is, what they themselves must give to each other. This cannot be done! The intervention of the older generation will also cause, which can ruin relations with relatives of the second half, and this greatly aggravates the situation and greatly undermines the marriage.

The crisis of the "family routine" occurs in the first 3-5 years of marriage. The reasons for this period, as a rule, is the birth of a child. The family, which has passed the period of grinding, has already settled down, the young have learned to reckon with each other and resolve disputes, when a new period of crisis appeared, in which relations husband and wife are under the pressure of new global changes.

In this case, each of the spouses contributes to the development of difficulties in its own way: the wife ceases to take care of herself, physically cools towards her soulmate, but at the same time requires increased attention to herself and forgets about her husband, who also needs the support and affection of a woman. The husband, in turn, does not seek to help his wife with household chores and with the child, seeks to increasingly spend time outside the home or comes tired from work and spends time motionless on the couch. At such moments, the spouses do not even notice that they are cooling off in relations with each other and do not strive for mutual understanding and support. In addition, alienation from each other during this period leads for the first time to difficulties in sexual life, which can provoke adultery. Crisis 3 years of marriage is difficult for a husband and wife and requires them to be willing to learn to understand and forgive each other.

Crisis 10 years of marriage- an intensive period of family development. At this time, life in the family seems to be well-established, everything goes on as usual: children grow up, become more independent, spouses disappear at work, trying to improve the material well-being of the family. They are less and less connected by common chores, most often they meet only at dinner in the evenings, each is deepened in fulfilling his role in the family. Passion subsided, there is nothing to talk about romance, this is the period when people say that love has become a habit. At a certain point, the spouses are left alone and realize that they have lost interest in each other, because there are fewer and fewer topics for conversation. And if they are, which certainly relate to household chores and everyday routine. Thus begins the next crisis in the relationship between husband and wife, in which both need to do everything in order to revive the brightness of their feelings.

Midlife crisis 20-25 years. During this period, marriages often tend to break up, because the relationship between husband and wife stops developing: the children have already grown up, a career has been formed, there are no grandchildren yet, and, accordingly, it becomes “boring” to live. At the same time, due to the upcoming climatic period, men begin to middle age crisis: the fading beauty of the wife ceases to excite, the upcoming menopause and problems with men's health cause fear. Psychological exacerbation is also accompanied by unpleasant family changes: children leave home and spouses have to get used to living together again. In this regard, the crisis of marriage becomes more tangible: the husband and wife have more time to detect changes in each other. Naturally, it is not advisable to diverge at this age. Spouses are simply obliged to save the family, because their adult children should be able to visit their father's house, the walls of which keep so many family secrets and pleasant moments.

How wonderful it is when, having overcome all the dangerous moments of life together, elderly spouses meet happy children and grandchildren in their home!

Crisis Symptoms

What are the signs of a crisis in the family? In fact, as soon as a difficult period comes, you can feel it right away, because it does not look like just a one-time quarrel or one scandal. A marriage crisis is usually accompanied by several disturbing symptoms:

- married life takes on the features of an aggravating routine: everyday life eats up, there is less and less time for each other, husband and wife do not strive to please each other, as before;

- there are no moments of touching relationships and manifestations of love;

- problems of an intimate nature: cold in the marital bed, alienation of the wife, lack of desire from the husband;

- any questions on the upbringing and care of children cause only quarrels and reproaches;

- Spouses constantly criticize each other;

- husband and wife disagree, which causes mutual irritation;

- in the family there is no desire for understanding, each of the spouses believes that he is more inferior to his soul mate;

- Interest in each other's affairs disappears, there is no moment of sincerity and trust;

- scandals and reproaches are increasingly heard in the house, and joyful and happy laughter sounds less and less.

Video: Crisis in the family: how it happens with secret agents :)

http://youtu.be/iONfuTrOO_I

Most importantly, you need to understand that any crisis is a need for change. Any turning point, even if it is conflicts, quarrels and difficulties, lead to the development of personality and relationships within the couple. Thanks to such moments, the family grows stronger and becomes stronger and more stable. If the love that once warmed the spouses turned out to be weak and, under the blows of changes, could not continue to exist, the husband and wife parted. In this article, we will look at tips on how to overcome the dangerous crisis periods of marriage that arise sooner or later in every family.

Marriage is a painstaking work of two people, not a beautiful fairy tale. After a certain period of time, every couple has a crisis that needs to be learned to overcome. Many do not cope with difficulties and see only one way out of this situation - divorce. Periods when everything falls out of hand, irritation grows like a snowball, and you don’t want to return home from work - this is a pattern. This is what is called a crisis in psychology. Relationships are tested for strength. The turning points in life together are divided into several stages, which you should know about in advance in order to easily overcome them and stay together.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW! Fortuneteller Baba Nina:"There will always be plenty of money if you put it under your pillow..." Read more >>

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Signs of a Coming Crisis

Each cell of society is individual, so the peaks of contention between spouses can occur at different times. In the psychology of marriage, the most important crisis periods occur at 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, 7-8, 10-11, 12-15 and 20 years of marriage. It is very difficult to overcome them with dignity and maintain love for each other. To do this, you need to learn how to smooth out sharp corners and make concessions.

conflicts arising for any reason;
aggressive behavior and unwillingness to listen to the second half;
lack of intimacy;
loss of interest in a partner;
monotony and boredom.

The first crisis: a year of marriage

In the first year, many spouses experience disappointment in their partner. This is exactly the period when a person begins to objectively evaluate the one with whom he shares the living space. The usual way of life of everyone is violated, ordinary family everyday life sets in: the newlyweds get used to each other and get used to it. A real person with all the advantages and disadvantages appears before the partner. Not every marriage is able to cope with this test. According to statistics, 90% of married couples do not withstand the first turning point and file for divorce. They hope that with a new partner, everything will be different. But the crisis is natural, and it will certainly make itself felt in another union.

The causes of the crisis after one year of family life are:

1. Differences in habits. For example, a woman hates mess, and a man scatters his socks everywhere. Or she takes the bathroom for two hours every morning, which makes him late for work and annoyed. Disagreements can arise from scratch, they are the result of different views on life and habits.
2. Temperaments. Each person has his own character. A husband can be quick-tempered, and a woman is too calm. Hence the different reactions and assessment of the events. Differences in temperaments can cause mutual resentment and misunderstanding.
3. Money and domestic difficulties. In the first year of marriage, spouses learn to solve various problems of a domestic and financial nature, which often causes quarrels.

Such a turning point in the life of a couple is overcome quite simply: the spouses need to learn how to compromise. You should also avoid ultimatums and not accumulate resentment, but openly discuss disturbing situations and controversial issues. To survive the first crisis, you need to put emotions aside. All families go this way.

It is important not to be afraid that love has disappeared, you need to look at your partner with new eyes and try to accept him with all the advantages and disadvantages.

3-5 years of marriage

Most often, after 3 years of living together, the spouses have their first child. The role of parents exacerbates the situation, because the baby requires maximum attention and strength. A woman devotes all her time to him, forgetting about her husband. The spouse suffers from a lack of attention and care. Sex becomes less frequent or disappears altogether, partners move away from each other. Most men have mistresses at this moment.

So that the birth of children does not become the reason for divorce, you need to learn how to share household chores and caring for the baby among themselves. It is important for a woman not to forget to take care of herself and show interest in a man. It is necessary to periodically spend time alone with each other, sending the child to the grandmother or leaving the nanny.

A crisis in family life is often associated with a woman going to work. After 5 years of marriage, the child grows up, and she begins to pursue a career. A young mother has a lot more responsibilities, and a woman, experiencing stress, splashes out all the negativity on her husband. In such a situation, a man is recommended to take on some of the responsibilities. The wife will appreciate it.

Psychologists' advice on how to overcome the crisis of 3-5 years of marriage:

1. The main thing is not to exaggerate. The difficult period will definitely be left behind, in a year the baby will grow up, and the young mother will have time to rest and to her beloved man. You should not waste time and nerves on meaningless quarrels, you need to be patient and wait a bit.
2. Mutual assistance. Spouses should help and support each other in every possible way. It is much easier to make claims than to surround your partner with care. In no case should you show your irritation to a loved one.

7-8 years of family life

After 7-8 years of marriage, the spouses face another crisis. This is exactly the period when partners begin to psychologically get tired of each other. Interest in the second half is gradually fading away, and it seems to people that love has passed. In such a situation, it is urgent to take action and save the family from divorce. The best way to get out of the routine is to bring new sensations into life.

The following tips may help:

1. It is recommended to bring romance back into the relationship. Do not skimp on gifts, connect your imagination and arrange surprises. You should again start going to the cinema and walking in the park, holding hands.
2. A great way to diversify married life and add positive emotions is to go on vacation without children for at least a week. A change of scenery will help you relax and look at your partner with different eyes.
3. Joint activities will help to become closer: swimming, morning jogging, cycling or skating - depending on the time of year.
4. Diversify intimate life. Sex is a powerful weapon that can bring a marriage back from the ashes. A woman can buy new underwear, an erotic costume, or purchase an unusual toy in a sex shop.
5. Look at the situation through the eyes of another. Both the man and the woman for 7-8 years of marriage have accumulated a lot of mutual claims. It is important to understand that married couples who are completely satisfied with each other simply do not exist. A person may not see shortcomings in himself, but this does not mean that he is deprived of them. The partner has to endure a lot, turning a blind eye to the shortcomings of the other and focusing on the merits.

10-11 years old

For 10-11 years of marriage, the spouses manage to have children and successfully overcome several recessions and revivals. A crisis is an important stage in relationships, which makes it clear that the usual pattern of behavior has outlived its usefulness, and something new needs to be introduced into life. Having overcome the turning point in marriage, the spouses become closer to each other.

How to get out of the crisis after 10 years of marriage:

1. The most important thing is not to be afraid of turning points and be ready for them. After overcoming the crisis of relationships, the couple goes to a new level. Spouses need to learn to speak openly with each other about all the disturbing moments.
2. If you cannot overcome the crisis on your own, it is recommended to seek help from a professional psychologist. The specialist will find the root of the problems and help to solve them in the shortest possible time.
3. You need to work on relationships. In order for the fire of passion between spouses not to go out, it is necessary to maintain interest in each other and spend time alone. You can take a walk in the park, go to a restaurant or go to a country hotel for a couple of days. It will refresh the senses.
4. It is important to satisfy each other's sexual needs. If the spouse lacks affection in an intimate way, the marriage may be in jeopardy.
5. It is recommended to avoid conflict situations, not to blame the partner and treat him with due respect.
6. A cardinal change of image will help to revive feelings. A new image, hairstyle, makeup, demeanor will intrigue and surprise your partner.

If a husband and wife understand, respect each other and openly share their experiences, it means that over the years of life together they managed to become truly close people. Such couples will painlessly survive the crisis years.

12-15 years old

This period of crisis is most often associated with the growing up of children. The child becomes an independent person, whose opinion must be taken into account. At such a moment, disagreements may arise between the spouses regarding the methods of education. A woman wants to protect and protect her child from the whole world, and a man sees an adult in him and, practically, is ready to let him go to life. This is where misunderstandings arise.

The most important thing in this situation is not to forget about the child, finding out which of the spouses is right and which is to blame. We need to look for compromises and support each other, then this crisis will soon be overcome.

20 years or more

After 20 years of marriage, children grow up and leave the parental home, which causes the next crisis. Spouses, left alone with each other, begin to feel emptiness. During such a period, both partners begin to feel that they are strangers.

The turning point after 20 years of marriage is most often due to a midlife crisis. This period is especially difficult for men. It seems to the partner that next to a young woman he will be able to return the old years, and some men have a mistress. Gradually, the spouses move away from each other further and further. In such a situation, it is urgent to reanimate the relationship. Psychologists advise to imagine yourself at a young age and try to love each other again. You can go to a restaurant and remember the years spent together with a glass of wine, then go for a walk in the places of youth or go on vacation.

The crisis of family relations is inevitable and necessary for their development. This is not a one-time occurrence that will never happen again. The couple's life together is full of events that cause critical consequences. It is not necessary to ignore problems, it is important to learn how to overcome them and do it together. After all, marriage is a union of two people, and both partners should work on relationships. Only then will the family be a strong and reliable rear.

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The story of one of our readers Alina R.:

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How to survive a crisis in the family? How to resolve the conflict without consequences? How to prevent the destruction of the family? Read the article.

A family crisis is something that every couple faces at least once in their life. A family crisis must be experienced correctly so as not to destroy relationships. And even when it seems to you that you can no longer be with a person, do not get excited. It's never too late to ruin a relationship. And how to strengthen them - read below.

Causes of conflict in the family

Family conflicts are an integral part of family life. Two people cannot live together and never conflict.

IMPORTANT: But it's one thing when conflicts are quite rare and quickly resolved. But protracted or even hidden conflicts are serious and dangerous for the family.

If you are facing conflicts with your husband/wife, then try to find reasons for their appearance:

Unpreparedness for family life. It appears when a couple entered into marriage hastily or under the influence of circumstances (pregnancy is the most common unforeseen circumstance). The situation leads to the fact that people are simply not ready to put up with each other’s shortcomings or are not at all ready to limit themselves to certain family responsibilities (more often it occurs due to age, in simple terms, “didn’t work up”). If there is no strong love, then any little things in your partner and family life will annoy you. The result is conflict.
The concept of family formed from childhood. If one of the spouses grew up in a family in which there were frequent quarrels and conflicts, then the likelihood of the same problems in his family is high. From childhood, a certain model of behavior is laid down for a person. Having created his family, he continues to act according to this model.

The cause of conflicts in the family: repeating the mistakes of parents

Overestimated / underestimated self-esteem one of the partners. Inflated self-esteem does not allow one of the spouses to admit his guilt, leads to constant blaming of the partner. And low self-esteem leads either to a partner’s disrespect for you (he begins to allow himself too much), or to constant attempts to assert himself
Desire for power. When one of the partners is trying with all his might to be in charge and manage all family matters. As a rule, the second of the spouses sooner or later gets tired of being a puppet and demands respect for his opinion. But often it is already too late, because the second half will have a strong confidence in its supremacy
Taking the blame. As soon as you start saying "I'm to blame" in any situation, your partner will get bored. So, of course, you will avoid some conflicts, but you will bring on another conflict - a lack of interest and desire.

Lack of interest and desire. Sometimes this is a consequence of the previous cause. And sometimes it appears when one spouse wants something together, but the other does not. As a rule, the wife wants to walk together in the park every evening, and the husband wants to either sit in front of the TV or go to friends
Revenge. As soon as you begin to take revenge on your partner, you begin to destroy your peaceful life. Revenge will never solve the previous conflict, but it will create a new one.
I am always right/right. A spouse can take such a position, but it will end, rather, with resentment of the second half. There is no person in the world who is always right

irascibility. When resentment arises, a woman or a man can show anger and aggression. Don't allow it. If you feel like shouting out your point of view, do the following. Within 30 seconds, the partner calmly and without humiliation speaks his point of view. At the same time, the one who listens should not interrupt and behave only openly and good-naturedly. For the next 30 seconds, the listener retells the essence of the complaint in the same calm tone. Then you change places. Such an exercise will allow you not to offend each other with angry words and listen to the opinion of everyone.
selfishness. The selfishness of one of the partners sooner or later leads to resentment on the part of the second. Every person wants to be respected and appreciated. Living with an egoist is hard. And the saddest thing is that it is even more difficult to re-educate an egoist
Unwillingness to help housework. Many men may say that housekeeping is a woman's business. For the most part, yes, but, firstly, men also have their own responsibilities, and secondly, sometimes you can replace your wife in her household chores and give her a break. Otherwise, instead of a once passionate wife, you will meet a dull housewife at home.

Miscellaneous the concept of the duties of husband and wife. This issue should be discussed at the beginning of family life. It can take you a long time to understand everyone's thoughts on this issue, during which you will already have time to spoil your relationship.
Different temperament. The sanguine will now and then try to pull the phlegmatic out of a cozy home chair. Against the background of resistance of desires, conflicts will arise.
Financial situation. If your financial situation is for a long time below what you would like. You will continually look for the cause of material difficulties. And it will lead to the fact that someone will be to blame

Sexual dissatisfaction. Men are easier to relate to intimacy, and they have problems with libido much less often. So rare sex becomes the cause of conflicts. If the quality of sex does not suit one partner all the time, then the conflict will also mature sooner or later. At best, you will resort to measures to meet each other's needs. In the worst case, one of you will go looking for sexual pleasure on the side.
Bad habits. Smoking one of the partners will sooner or later provoke the second to a conflict. Love for alcohol outside of home holidays will also sooner or later cause family troubles.
Children. Different views on raising a child or the unwillingness of a spouse to help his wife with a small child - entails frequent and unresolved conflicts

6 crises of family life by years

In family life, crisis periods can be distinguished by years. Every crisis is associated with certain circumstances.

IMPORTANT: One of the causes of every crisis is silence. Quiet grudges will never resolve conflict

Crisis of the 1st year of marriage.

Conflicts in a young family

Conflicts in a young family arise for reasons that have already been discussed above: in the first crisis of family life and the crisis of 3-5 years.

Additionally, you can only add:

In a young family, the spouses are full of ambitions. And sometimes the requests of the second half to change habits or hobbies can affect your ego.
Of course, some changes still have to come at the birth of a family. But don't let your partner completely change you.
In young families, it is more common to hear offensive words. It's all connected with the same affected ego and inexperience
Follow the tips below to avoid conflicts.

How to avoid quarrels and conflicts in the family?

IMPORTANT: You will not be able to completely avoid quarrels and conflicts. However, you can reduce their number or make them effective.

Chat. Never shut up a grudge. This does not mean that you should constantly point out to your partner about his shortcomings. If you feel a strained relationship or your partner has hurt you a lot, talk. But the conversations must be right, by the three principles below
No insults. Insults will never lead to conflict resolution. Even if you want to call your partner a bad word in connection with his bad deed, keep silent. Say "you acted very ugly", but do not say "you are a goat, etc."
Listen to each other. Even if you consider yourself the injured party, listen to the opponent's position. It may well be that you did not notice something in your behavior. Be sure to listen fully as your partner explains their behavior. Once you find the cause, you can fix it.

Compromise. By not compromising, you run the risk of not returning to the old happy times. Be prepared that if your partner asks you to behave differently, you may receive a response. Agree. This is the only way to improve your relationship.
Personal space. You are people. You can get tired of working days. You want to relax and unwind. In the home, each spouse should have a place of solitude. If you have a small child, then agree on the order of privacy for each of you: today mom is with a child, and dad is sitting at his favorite computer game; tomorrow dad is with the baby, and mom calmly takes a bath and makes face masks. Without personal time and space, you will start running away from home in search of that very personal vacation.
Praise each other. Often, spouses come to the conclusion that they hear only reproaches: “dinner was not a success”, “what kind of hairstyle do you have today”, “you didn’t change the light bulb”. Stop blaming when things don't work out. Praise when something worked out: “what a delicious lunch today”, “you are so well done, I didn’t notice when you managed to fix the faucet”, “you look good”

Speak nice words. Remember the candy-bouquet period of your relationship. After all, it was nice to hear “I love you”, “come quickly, I miss you”, I love your jokes. You didn't just end up together. Mutual feelings united you, so support their fire
Smile. It is clear that sometimes after a working day you want to relax, but the mood wants the best. When you come home, say: "darling, I'm so tired, it's good that you are with me." Then hug your spouse and smile. You will see, such actions will return your relationship to its former tenderness.
Farewell. No matter how hard you try to avoid quarrels, they can still happen sometimes. If in a quarrel there is an unequivocal fault of one of the spouses, I'm sorry. Of course, there is a limit to everything. But if the fault of the spouse is not very terrible, then I'm sorry. Maybe not right away, but sorry. But provided that your spouse sincerely asks for this

Do not remember past grievances. If you have forgiven your loved one for his act, then erase this act from memory. Stop collecting in your head all the mistakes of your half. Otherwise, at every opportunity you will begin to reproach for what you have already been asked to forgive. First, it will only increase the scale of each subsequent conflict. Secondly, the guilty party will not see the point in apologizing later.
Respect each other's hobbies. If your soulmate has a favorite hobby, instead of talking about its uselessness, praise how good he is at it: whether it's tennis, hand knick-knacks, or a computer game
Remember that both are to blame for the conflict. Do you consider your half to be the culprits of all the troubles? Listen to the other side and find where you are to blame
Remember who you are to each other. When approaching another quarrel or conflict, think: can you live without this person? If not, then dull the negativity and follow the advice above.

Once again, carefully study the tips above. Try to act this way
If the advice did not help you build a relationship, then contact a family psychologist
Some general advice will not be enough when the conflict has already dragged on and includes many other conflicts. It is already difficult for spouses to figure out where and who was wrong
Often only one of the spouses agrees to a psychologist. Convince the second of the need to visit him to save the family
For more tips from psychologists, see the video below.

Incredible Facts

third year of marriage When a couple gets used to each other is the happiest, found out in a new study.

A survey of 2,000 married people found that in the first year of marriage, couples still experience post-wedding serenity; in the second year, they begin to explore each other's quirks and idiosyncrasies.

By the couple's third year of marriage, finally accept each other's flaws and weaknesses and begin family planning, which further strengthens the relationship.

A study by the law firm Slater & Gordon examined the dynamics of modern married life.

Also, experts found that by the third anniversary, both sides agree with the financial implications of concluding a barque and combine bills and expenses.

Marriage Crisis

However, experts also found that 5th year of marriage is the hardest due to fatigue, workload and children. Most clients start contacting divorce lawyers during this period and subsequent years.

Experts advise couples who begin to experience doubt during this period to think of it as a crisis that can be overcome.

"Often, these clients go through a difficult period, and six months later, all difficulties are left behind," - said the family lawyer and author of the study. Amanda McAlister(Amanda McAlister).

The experts also found that The 7th year of marriage is a kind of "wall", and if couples can climb it, it most often leads to a long and happy marriage.

As the honeymoon phase passes, one in three in a marriage report a lack of affection in their marriage, and one in five admit to regretting their decision to get married at times. This is facilitated by factors such as differences in libido, interests and social preferences during the first years of marriage.

And although one in five admitted that the marriage did not turn out the way they wanted, four out of ten respondents believed that they could do something more to improve the relationship in their marriage.

"People are so overwhelmed with emotions in the early years of marriage that they forget that a successful marriage takes effort. There are ups and downs in marriage," McAlister said.

Every marriage is different, but the best marriages are built on love, respect, and joy. Maintaining a healthy and vibrant relationship isn't easy, but there are a few tips to help keep your marriage happy.

Give priority to your partner

Remember, when you first got married, each of you was the whole world for the other. This feeling doesn't last forever, but don't let your partner end up at the bottom of your priority list after kids, work, friends, and hobbies. Remind your partner that he or she is important to you.

Look after your appearance

When you first started dating, you hardly allowed yourself to show up in a stained T-shirt or stretched pants. Marriage doesn't mean you have to let yourself relax. Show respect to your spouse by maintaining your appearance, even if you are doing housework.

Don't forget to say "thank you"

After a few years of marriage, it's easy to take for granted the nice things your significant other does, like a cup of coffee of your choice or a neck massage after a hard day. Remember that you need to thank each other even for such trifles.

Keep up the romance

Work, children and other responsibilities cause fatigue and reduce romance and sexual connection. Set aside time for dates for two and sexual games. It is important.

Give each other some freedom

Remember that each of you is a unique individual with different thoughts, feelings, and interests. Supporting and respecting each other's personality makes you more interesting to each other and to yourself.

Make time for fun

You can do it as a family or as a couple, and each of you will enjoy life and marriage more.

Love who you are with

You fell in love with the person you met, so don't expect him to change immediately after marriage.

How to save a marriage?

Talk about what you want

Many people believe that spouses should understand each other without words, but this is not so. If you have a desire, ask for it and don't make your partner guess.

Live your life

With all the demands and responsibilities that marriage requires of you, it's easy to forget your interests. Support your own interests and you will be happier.