Greetings, my dear readers! Has it ever happened to you that you thought about something and it came true? I have, yes, and more than once. This makes me wonder - is it possible to control your life with the help of internal messages? Today it is known a large number of directions working in this area. Let's talk about how to manage your thoughts, how to make your life conscious and how to achieve harmony of thoughts and actions.
Fact or fiction?
Surely you know the phrase “thought is material.” But is this really so, or is it just a cunning invention? Here, as in any other issue, there are two sides. Some argue that thoughts cannot control reality. Others prove with their own examples that this is quite feasible.
The human brain is still not fully understood by scientists. The capabilities of our mind are vague and incomprehensible. How can you explain concepts such as intuition, déjà vu, prophetic dreams? Alena Krasnova and her work will guide you through the labyrinth of the human mind “ The power of thought».
Instead of just ranting, I’ll give you a few examples. My best friend throughout my youth I fell asleep with one thought: at eighteen I will have my own apartment, a car and a wonderful young man. And so on until he falls asleep, every day.
And what do you think? At eighteen, her mother gave her a certificate for driving courses, and then a brand new Peugeot. After some time, her parents moved into a separate house and left her a city apartment. And of course she had long term relationship with a wonderful guy. Believe it or not.
I experienced a similar effect myself. Before a certain task, I psyched myself up, uttered clearly formulated phrases to myself, and in the end I got the result I was counting on.
Only by trying it on yourself can you understand whether it works for you or not.
How it works?
What is the essence of such techniques? There are positive affirmations. A list of phrases that you say to yourself at a certain time, tuning your subconscious to the scenario you need.
There are techniques that eliminate all use of negatives. It is believed that the cosmos does not perceive the particle “not” and literally understands the phrase. So the message “I don’t want to be poor” has the opposite effect: I want to be poor.
To be honest, I always try to use positive phrases in my speech. I avoid using negativity and denial. This helps me better manage my feelings and emotions. Because I say more positive words, I focus more on them.
In fact, all such techniques are aimed at using the power of thought to direct your actions in the right direction to achieve results. By saying certain messages to yourself, you program your subconscious. It, in turn, creates instructions and a plan according to which you will perform actions unconsciously.
A more detailed and clear description can be found in Vadim Zeland’s book “ Practical course Transurfing in 78 days" In it the author gives practical advice and explains many incomprehensible things.
I see here a great similarity with belief in omens and hypnosis. There are people who are very good at hypnosis and believe in all kinds of signs. And there are those who do not believe in any sign and nothing like this ever happens to them.
For example, I have for a long time There was a black cat living in the house. She crossed my path a million times a day. But it didn’t matter, because I didn’t believe in this sign.
Support your thoughts with actions
Agree, if you just sit on the couch and think “I’m handsome and rich,” then you’re unlikely to feel positive result. The ability to think positively will be very useful to you throughout life. It will help you better cope with your emotions and understand the feelings that you will experience at a particular moment.
But in my opinion, it is not enough to learn to direct thoughts in the right direction. Manage your life in every aspect. Supplement with the right actions.
If you want to Good work, then you shouldn’t just think about it. You need to write a good resume, sensibly assess your capabilities, maybe take additional courses and go for an interview.
And you will find out how best to present yourself to a possible employer in the article “”.
Manage events not only mentally, but also effectively. Don't be afraid to make choices and take responsibility. Only those who do nothing make no mistakes. Don't become that person. Use all your capabilities to the maximum. And believe me, your possibilities are endless. You just have to believe in yourself and start working.
You may be interested in the articles "" and "". Just never forget, the more power you have, the greater the responsibility becomes.
Do you believe in the power of thought? Have your dreams and hopes come true? Maybe you know someone who successfully uses similar techniques?
How to get rid of bad thoughts. How to learn to control your thoughts during panic and depression. Thought Control Technique"White Room" If you don’t know how to manage your thoughts, this material is for you.
Why control your thoughts?
The ability to control your thoughts- an important skill for controlling many conditions, ranging from panic and depression to anger and attacks of self-denial.
“He who controls his thoughts controls his life.” Psychologist of Happiness.
Control and management of your thoughts, as you will understand later, is not at all blocking and denying your mental judgments. The practice of managing thoughts is a practice.
Mindfulness is the key to controlling thoughts and managing emotions.
Evaluative thoughts often serve as a trigger for many emotional states:
“I’m fat and no one needs me!” and now he’s knocking on your door.
“I probably have an incurable disease and will die soon?” - Welcome, !
“He shouldn't do this to me! Never!" - a broken cup on the floor and my hands are shaking.
Do you want to learn how to manage your thoughts? Yes? Exactly? What for?
Practice of observing thoughts “White Room”
During this useful exercise for awareness, you will observe the work of your consciousness, imagining that it is a white room through which thoughts pass.
You can perform it in any quiet place, sitting or lying down.
Close your eyes and do a few deep breaths and exhalations. Relax your body using one of the relaxation methods convenient for you.
Breathe slowly and evenly throughout this exercise.
Imagine that you are in a medium-sized white room with two doors.
Imagine that your thoughts are floating through a white room and leaving it forever.
Thoughts enter through one door and leave through another.
As soon as a thought appears, concentrate on it and try to classify it as non-judgmental.
Examine each thought carefully, with curiosity and compassion until it goes away.
Don't try to analyze it, just note whether it's evaluative or not.
Don't challenge it, don't try to believe or disbelieve it.
Just realize that this is a thought, a brief moment of your brain activity, a random guest in your white room.
Beware of thoughts that you have categorized as judgmental. They will try to take control of you, to force you to accept the assessment.
What is the point of this thought control exercise?
The point of this exercise is to notice how “sticky” evaluative thoughts are - how they get stuck in your mind and how difficult it is to get rid of them.
You will determine that a thought is painful and judgmental by how long it stays in the white room, or by whether you begin to feel any emotion about it.
Try to constantly maintain even breathing, maintain a clear image of a white room and doors, monitor your thoughts and classify them.
Remember! Thought is not you! A thought is just a thought!
You are so much more than your thoughts. You are the person who creates the white room through which thoughts are allowed to pass. You have a million of them, they leave, but you still remain.
A thought does not require any action from you. A thought does not oblige you to believe in it. Thought is not you!
Just watch the thoughts pass through the white room. Let them live out their short lives and tell yourself that they have a right to exist, even judgmental ones.
Just acknowledge your thoughts, let them go when the time comes, and prepare to meet new ones - one by one.
Continue this practice until you feel that you have truly distanced yourself from your thoughts. Do it until even evaluative thoughts begin to pass through the white room without stopping.
What is the nature of your thoughts and what were your evaluative thoughts about? Share!
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Some people are convinced that our thoughts somehow attract into our lives exactly those situations and circumstances that we hold in our thoughts, and certainly that negative thoughts attract negativity into our lives, and positive ones, accordingly, positive.
Why do people have this opinion?
Regarding the negative, most often it happens as follows. We always consciously or intuitively analyze some events, some information, and as a result of this analysis, anxiety appears and grows in our souls. We begin to imagine and comprehend the events that may follow as a result of the current situation. And since much more often our expectations are filled with apprehensions and fears than with the expectation of good events, our thoughts develop in a negative direction. Due to the fact that we, even unconsciously, constantly expect troubles from life and prepare for them, we mentally assemble scenarios for the development of more often unfavorable events and, accordingly, the expected options for our reaction to them. And then our thoughts influence our emotional state.
Imagine that your daughter or another person close to you is late in the evening late in returning home, mobile phone doesn't answer. Your thoughts will probably be negative. Your mood deteriorates, you begin to worry, think in terms of the negative scenario born in your mind, develop it, and simulate possible consequences.
And if, in life, your negative expectation is not justified, you happily forget about it. If it is justified, then you will firmly remember this incident, and your negative thoughts, and the subsequent events, and they will be tightly connected in your memory.
Thus, it seems that we thought about negativity, expected it, and our thoughts attracted this negativity into our lives. What we thought is what we got!?
But we do not have the gift of foresight, and it just so happens in life that our negative expectations, in the overwhelming majority, are not justified by 99%, and then it turns out that in 99% of cases we needlessly spoiled our lives with these fears, artificially introducing into your life negative emotions. Psychologists say that 99% of what we fear exists in our imagination.
From the above, the only correct conclusion can be drawn. Whether you believe or don’t believe that negative thoughts attract negative events into our lives, that by fearing something bad and thinking about it, we get this bad thing, in any case, manage your thoughts, throw negative thoughts out of your head, don’t spoil yourself life.
The sages of the past knew this and we have no reason not to trust their life experience.
“Never expect trouble and don’t worry about something that may never happen.”
Franklin Benjamin (1707-1790)
On the other hand, if people could foresee their future, imagine how much more sorrow, unhappy people, and ruined lives there would be in life. We cannot know what is good and what is bad in the current moment for our future.
I don't know what is good and what is bad. (Zen tale).
One farmer received a white horse as a gift for his son.
A neighbor came to him and said:
- You are very lucky! Nobody gave me such a wonderful, white horse.
The farmer answers him:
- I don’t know if this is good or bad...
The farmer's son mounted the horse, the horse bolted and threw the rider off. The farmer's son broke his leg.
- Horrible! - said the neighbor, - you were right when you said that this story could turn out badly. Now your son will remain crippled for life!
But the farmer did not seem overly dejected:
“I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” he answered.
The war began, and all the youth, except the farmer's son, were taken to the front. The neighbor came to the farmer again and said:
- Only your son didn’t go to fight, how lucky he is.
And the farmer answered again:
- I don't know if this is good or bad.
The parable once again draws our attention to the fact that we do not need to guess today what could happen tomorrow. We do not know what is there “behind the closed door” that we have not yet opened. The parable teaches us to remain calm and unperturbed both in moments of joy and in difficult situations, always be in a state of mental balance, be able to manage your thoughts.
And if you feel unhappy, if you are sad, if you are depressed, if you are visited by thoughts that life has no meaning, this is a matter of your mind, you are the author of your condition, you yourself created it, you yourself create your own melancholy.
How do people form the opinion that positive thoughts attract positive situations and circumstances into our lives?
Most often, it happens this way. Thinking about something necessary, good, interesting, about what we want to attract into our lives, we bring ourselves into a state of attention and high readiness to meet this good. As a result, we select from among the people we meet those who can contribute to this, and from everyday events and situations exactly those that correspond to our thoughts. Thus, our decisions and actions, accordingly, attract into our lives the good, interesting things we think about.
An example from life.
That day I was greatly impressed by one book, my thoughts were absorbed in its content and I took it on the road to re-read it again.
Express Lviv-Kyiv. I go into the carriage, there is a young woman standing by the carriage slim woman, about 25 years old, in a youth outfit, smokes.
I sit down in my chair, next to me on the free chair lies the book “Forgive Yourself” by Luume Viiyama. Oops! From the same topic!? That same woman comes in and sits down in the next chair and picks up a book. I silently, like a password, show her my book. She hasn’t read this book, but she’s heard a lot about it and wants to read it. A conversation ensues. I share my impressions about the book, tell a random fellow traveler something about it. We discuss the topic with passion. She dreams of reading good book about how to quit smoking. I myself quit smoking at the age of 35, having read “10 lessons on how to quit smoking” in “The Week” (there was such a weekly supplement to the Izvestia newspaper). I share my invaluable experience. We are talking, one topic follows another, she is an excellent conversationalist, she has a very beautiful eyes, her name is Martha. The six hour journey flies by. Given the age difference, we part without exchanging phone numbers.
Maybe thoughts really attract people and events?
I think that I was simply impressed by the book, I was ready to meet such a person, perhaps I even wanted such a meeting, I wanted to discuss my impressions with someone. In addition, for objective reasons, I felt especially lonely in those days. And this feeling of loneliness, the readiness to discuss a certain topic, pushed me into an unexpected acquaintance, although, usually, I do not get acquainted with fellow travelers, I reluctantly enter into strangers into conversations. And then there are accidents.
In general, if you like to think that thoughts attract events, circumstances, people, you can believe in it, take it into account and use it in your life. Either way, fill your mind positive thoughts, and you will be ready to attract this positive into your life.
It is undeniable that our thoughts affect us, cause certain emotions in us, and significantly influence our state of mind. We are calm, we are excited - all this is, rather, the action of our thoughts, rather than external stimuli. If we have sad thoughts in our heads, then we also look sad and everything around us seems sad, we find sadness everywhere. Our thoughts do not control us, but influence our emotional state.
But we, to our great happiness, can control our thoughts, or rather the thinking process. So it turns out that by controlling our thoughts, we can control our emotions, our emotional state.
In order to maintain peace of mind, peace of mind, and make fuller use of your creative potential, you must learn to manage your thoughts and the thinking process.
Now, having convinced ourselves of the importance of the topic, we can move on to the technology of mastering and the practice of using thought management.
1. Master the practice of inactivity of the mind.
Inaction of the mind is the complete absence of thoughts, the cessation of internal dialogue, the cleansing of the mind from alternating fragments of thoughts. Inaction of the mind is remaining in mental silence. By rejecting the eternal mental busyness of the mind, we, as it were, create a space in it that is not occupied by thoughts. The systematic practice of inactivity of the mind promotes clarity of mind, increases its creative activity, teaches us to turn to an internal source of peace and inspiration, teaches us to control our mind.
By practicing mindlessness, we learn to relax and calm down so that when we need to make a decision, we are ready to make one. correct solution and act.
“Watch for a few minutes and you will be surprised: the mind seems crazy! He jumps from one thought to another for no reason at all. Just a dog barked in the next house, and your mind takes the hint... and you remember the dog that you had as a child, and then died... and you feel sad. Because the dog dies, you start thinking about death, about the death of your mother or your father. You're angry because you never got along well with your mother; There has always been conflict between you. The dog continues to bark, completely unaware of what he has done. And you’ve gone so far!”
(from recordings of conversations with Osho)
Anything can trigger the process of remembering in you and the endless, absolutely useless work of the mind begins. Thoughts appear without any desire, whether a person wants or does not want to think about it. He, as a rule, does not know how to turn off his mind and how to turn it on. If you can learn to turn it off, even for a little while, you will learn to control your thoughts. If you can turn it off, it will help you build up mental energy.
“If you are crazy for several hours a day, you will gather so much energy that this energy will allow you to be young, fresh, creative. This energy will allow you to see reality, the beauty of existence, the joy of life...”
(from recordings of Osho's conversations)
A session of inactivity of the mind involves silence, abstinence from television, radio, and books for the duration of the session. Therefore, a session of inactivity of the mind must begin with silence. Ideally, for example, communicating with nature. Try to communicate with nature every day, silently watch the sunset; listen to the forest, river, stream or simply inhale the aroma of flowers or fresh frosty air. Feel the beauty, freedom, bliss, try to just “be” and start throwing thoughts out of your head.
Why is it so difficult to achieve mental inaction at first? The mind is activity itself; the most difficult thing for it is to be inactive, to be at peace. The mind asks: “Well, at least let me mentally move and relax my fingers, well, at least give me the opportunity to repeat with every breath: “So-Ham”!
With regular training, over time he will no longer need this. But at the beginning, thoughts just don’t want to leave your head, they don’t want to leave, they always nested here, without leaving your head, no one ever kicked them out, they fed on the past, looked into the future.
Parable.
One man had a dog, he fed it, played with it and, so that it would not run away from him, tied it in the yard with a strong chain.
One day, for some reason, the owner decided that he no longer needed the dog, he freed it from its leash and kicked it out of the yard.
The dog, after wandering around the house for a while, returned to its owner, but the owner kicked it out again. The dog thought that this was some kind of game and began to whine and break into the yard, then the owner got tired of it, and he picked up a stick. The owner kicked her out, but the dog stubbornly returned. This went on for a very long time, but the dog sat at the gate all the time and waited for the right moment to return to the yard, to its owner. In the end, the dog realized that it was new life and began to come to the owner only when he called her.
You can learn to manage your thoughts through simple but regular training.
When starting to master the mind-inactivity technique, try to choose a time when you do not have anxious thoughts and serious problems. At the beginning of development, you can limit yourself to 10-15 minutes a day, gradually, if possible, increasing the time. Enough: 15 minutes in the morning, 15 in the evening.
An example from life.
Very simple and reliable way falling asleep during insomnia, based precisely on the inaction of the mind, I learned in the book by Yu. Levi “Be able to control yourself.” I have been successfully using this method for over 15 years. Everything is very simple. Lying on your back, placing your arms freely along your body and stretching your legs, relax. All muscles, including the facial muscles, should be relaxed. Achieve complete absence thoughts can be very simple. Mentally, slowly move and relax all your fingers in turn, then the muscles of the elbow joints, forearms, shoulders, etc. Then relax your toes, etc., while carefully monitoring so that no thoughts interrupt your mental relaxation. In the morning, I usually cannot remember how I fell asleep in the evening, in the process of relaxing which muscles it happened.
Try it too. Perhaps at first you will have to mentally run over your entire body several times, but after several workouts you will fall asleep before even completing three laps. For myself, I have developed a technique that is suitable for both falling asleep and entering meditation, since the initial conditions for both sleep and entering meditation are the same: relax, calm your breathing, get thoughts out of your head. The difference between sleep and meditation is that sleep is an unconscious state, while meditation is a conscious state.
Entering into the silence of the mind.
(a technique for falling asleep, relaxing and entering meditation.)
1. Sit in a position that is comfortable for relaxation. If you are at home, then it is better to go to some permanent, specially selected place.
To fall asleep, perform this exercise while lying on your back, placing your arms freely along your body and stretching your legs.
2. Relax.
Carefully relax your facial muscles. Close your eyes.
Relax all your muscles. Imagine that your skin is a soft container filled with a heavy, loose mass.
3. Free your head from all thoughts.
Throw all thoughts out of your head, everything at all, don’t let a single fragment of thought appear in your head.
Catch yourself doing this and immediately throw out the thought, not allowing it to develop.
Just try to “be” and that’s it.
4. Mentally, begin to relax every part of your body.
Relax thumb one leg, then the other, so, one at a time, move on to the little toe.
Relax your sole, shin, calf, knee, thigh.
Relax your other leg in the same way.
Relax your pelvis, abdominals, pectoral muscles, back muscles.
Relax the shoulder muscles of one arm, biceps, triceps, forearm, hand, fingers alternately.
Move to the second hand, starting from the shoulder, ending with the fingers, alternately.
5. Carefully control that no thoughts interrupt your mental relaxation.
In your head you should only have relaxation and alternate muscles and parts of your body and that’s it.
6. If during the second circle you were unable to get rid of the running thoughts, on the third circle perform the exercise, linking relaxation with breathing. This will help you quickly get rid of rushing thoughts.
From muscle to muscle, from one part of the body to another, move on each breathing cycle - “inhale-exhale”. “Inhale-exhale” - focus on relaxing one finger. The next cycle (“inhale-exhale”) focuses on relaxing the next finger.
Each breathing cycle (inhalation and exhalation) can be accompanied mentally by sounds: while inhaling, mentally saying “SO”, while exhaling, “HAM”.
There is no need to change the pace of breathing, breathe as you feel comfortable, breathing should be even, calm, as if unnoticed by you.
7. After mastering this technique, you can enter the silence of the mind, concentrating only on breathing and with open eyes.
Relaxation is a very natural state of the body, but we are all so filled with tension that at first it is difficult for us to enter this very state of relaxation without some effort.
After some training, you can practice the silence of the mind in moments of forced idleness, in standby mode (for example, in an official’s reception room).
What happens when you fall into mental inactivity? A rapid flashing of fragments of thoughts begins, which you immediately discard. Then the flickering stops and here you need to make sure that the internal dialogue does not resume. And when the internal dialogue falls silent, you begin to feel calm. You are in deep peace, but you are alert and receptive, but the incoming information does not excite any thoughts in you. You are neither in the past nor in the future, you are simply here and now in a state of peace, you do not make any assessments of what is happening around you, and the “barking of the neighbor’s dog” no longer leads you to any thoughts.
An example from life.
I was sitting in the car waiting for a client for business meeting, listened to music, the client was clearly delayed, I began to get nervous. Time passed, his mobile phone was “out of reach”, the subsequent events of the day I had planned became questionable. The music no longer calmed or distracted. I remembered the client’s bad word - it didn’t help, my mood deteriorated, unconsciously I began to think about what could have happened to him and what the consequences could be for me. Naturally the thoughts were negative. And then I remembered the practice of inactivity of the mind. He turned off the music, settled more comfortably in the seat, closed his eyes, drove all thoughts out of his head, and carefully made sure that no fragments of thoughts flashed through his head. Several times I opened my eyes due to the noise of cars passing nearby, but already during these intervals I felt the nervousness pass and realized that I was enjoying the process of internal inactivity of the mind. I didn't sleep, but when the client showed up 25 minutes later, I felt rested, met the client in good mood, and, most importantly, I was calm and did not regret the lost time at all, it just somehow unexpectedly dawned on me that it was not lost!
If you have the opportunity, try this experiment too.
At the end of a session of inactivity of the mind, after a complete absence of thoughts, try to “throw in” a thought about some problem that is troubling you today and, without letting it be interrupted by other thoughts, try to mentally solve this problem. Solutions can be unexpected, original and extremely effective.
Practicing, from time to time, the inaction of the mind, when it is convenient for you, is one of the ways to learn through experience your mental potential.
In addition, mastering the technique of thought control can open up some other possibilities that were previously unknown to you,
An example from life. (personal observation)
I used to notice that in sleep, in the dreaming phase, when you see very good dream and just as you begin to wake up, somehow sometimes you manage to force yourself to continue the dream and see the continuation of the dream you liked.
After a short practice of inactivity of the mind and control of thoughts, I unexpectedly discovered an interesting by-effect the same plan, but with the opposite sign. In the above borderline state, between sleep and wakefulness, I had bad dreams several times and without any effort, almost automatically, with one conscious desire I stopped their continuation, throwing this dream out of my head altogether. Thus, I was once again convinced of the truly limitless possibilities of our mind.
Highest degree silence, of course, is meditation. Meditation, without knowing what you are doing, loses its value. It is best to learn meditation under the guidance of specialists, but simple meditation can be mastered on your own.
2. Don’t judge, don’t blame, don’t scold.
Refusal to evaluate events, situations, people that we do not need is a way to increase the efficiency of using our mental abilities, in order to free up the resource of the mind for use in the directions we need and are most important to us.
Please note that you constantly evaluate any events, situations, circumstances, people, everything that happens around you, whether you need it or not. You evaluate, label all the people you meet without exception, evaluate any events that you observe. Your mind is constantly occupied with 99% unnecessary work, work just in case. You don't feel tense, but you're not calm or relaxed either. Thoughts flash like in a kaleidoscope, one replaces the unfinished another, there is no pause between thoughts, the consciousness is clogged. Thoughts are superficial. The mind is not occupied with what we need in this moment, attention is dispersed, not concentrated.
Thus, each of us, without even noticing it, limits useful work mind, uses his creative capabilities extremely rarely. We ourselves are not aware of why this happens, but something always forces us to evaluate.
In addition, regarding people, assessment creates internal barriers, mistrust between people, because trust arises only through intimacy, intimacy through openness, and we, as a rule, are completely closed during assessment.
Try to make a decision for yourself - to refuse or refrain as much as possible from unnecessary assessments and mental judgments, impose an internal “taboo” on this. When you do this, your consciousness will be cleared, freed up to use the capabilities of your mind. Unexpectedly for you, creative thoughts in the direction you need will begin to arise. Remind yourself about the decision taken give up judgment, catch yourself wanting to judge people and events that are unnecessary to you, throw these desires out of your head.
First of all, and most simply, you can and should consciously abandon negative judgments about people and their actions. Condemnation presupposes your recognition of your superiority over someone, humiliating him in your eyes. Think about it, does this give you pleasure? But wouldn’t your life give you more pleasure without criticism and humiliation of someone?
Practical advice:
The result of the state of non-judgment can be clearly and quickly felt while driving a car or even as a passenger. Remember the film “Brother-2”, the footage when Sergei Bodrov’s hero, Danila, rides in a taxi around Moscow and in America. Taxi drivers, by the way, are both Russian, and both react equally to the actions of other drivers and pedestrians. They have everything: “goats”, “eccentrics with the letter “m”, “stuffies”, etc.. The most affectionate sayings: “Where are you going?”; “Wow, it gives!”
Remember your personal reaction when you were driving when your car was cut off, or you were forced to brake when a pedestrian crossed the street in an unspecified place. Try at such a moment to refuse evaluation, from condemnation, try to catch yourself in condemnation, sharply discard this thought. Try not to blame or scold. And you will immediately feel relief in your soul. And if you take this method as a rule, you will very quickly feel how much calmer you have become while driving, how much mental comfort has increased. You need to understand that you yourself, and only you, have the right to control your reactions to events.
Extend this first positive experience to your relationships with employees at work, in your family, and in your relationships with people in general, and you will quickly feel positive changes in your life. By giving up negative judgments, you will realize that most of your assessments were negative, and that you are already halfway in terms of giving up judgment, blaming and scolding.
When you are disappointed or upset by someone's actions or words, remember that it is always your feelings that this person or situation evokes in you. Your reaction is your choice, and your choice cannot be the fault of this person or situation.
Practical advice.
You have probably noticed that after almost any conflict, especially when the conflict is over due to the fact that you parted with the conflicting party, for example, you left public transport or from home, you unwittingly continue the mental dialogue. You are looking for additional arguments, one more witty and offensive than the other, mentally making deadly caustic remarks to your already imaginary opponent, and this state can last for a very long time. If at this time there is someone nearby who shares your opinion, you, especially, cannot calm down and then your dialogue turns into an angry monologue.
What is the point of these mental word exercises? Agree, there is no point. But you continue, already of your own free will, to remain in a state of conflict, to keep yourself in tension, in a state of prolonged frustration nervous system, continuing to experience negative emotions. Why do you need this?
Force yourself to immediately forget this conflict, throw it out of your head, force yourself to think about something else, more important for you or more pleasant, calm down, tune in to a peaceful mood. If you begin to do this constantly, you will feel that mental comfort becomes your companion at home, at work, and in everyday life. In the end, you will maintain your health, including your mental health. Think seriously about this, you may need it.
3. Change the way you think, select thoughts.
“We cannot stop birds from flying over our heads, but we will not allow them to land on our heads and build their nests on it. Likewise, we cannot prevent bad thoughts from sometimes entering our minds, but we must not allow them to nest in our brain."
Luther Martin (1483-1546)
People's actions may be the root cause of our anger and irritation, but we must know that the reaction to these actions is our assessment of these actions, our thoughts, which cause our negative emotions. Can these people be held responsible for our negative reactions? Of course not. These are our assessments, our thoughts, our emotions, which are born within ourselves, and which are reality only for us.
We need to take responsibility for how we feel. It's not events that upset us life situations, we are upset by our attitude towards them, our thoughts.
“Change your attitude towards the things that bother you, and you will be safe from them.”
Marcus Aurelius (121-180 AD)
Don't let anything upset you!
Practical advice:
Clearly remember the phrase: “Nothing can upset me” and “zombie” yourself with its help in moments of mental distress. It really helps to get through such moments.
Remember that whatever the circumstances, they are temporary and they will change. Remember the parable of Solomon's ring.
Parable. (in free form)
The vizier asked Solomon: “Oh, my lord!” Why, when you look at your ring, are you either happy or sad?”
Solomon replied: “I read the inscription on it: “It will not always be like this!”
If your thoughts are focused on your current deplorable state of affairs, change your way of thinking: think about what needs to be done in this situation today.
Remember that your current position and state of affairs is the fruit of your previous thoughts and circumstances. The important thing is what we need now to solve the problem, concentrate your thoughts on this and the solution to your problem will, as it were, come to you.
Thoughts should not be depressing; if they are, you need to change the way you think. For example, don’t think about the fact that you have debts, don’t “get hung up” on this thought, think about the fact that you need to earn money, about how best to do it today.
Become aware of your thoughts and you will begin to carefully select them.
If at first it will be difficult, then you don’t need to track all your thoughts, a thought causes emotions, for starters, watch your emotional state. It should be as positive as possible. Emotions always have a color, they are either positive or negative. You are either good or bad, everything else is not emotions. Emotions can and should also be controlled by selecting thoughts. Never forget that emotions have the property of inertia - whatever emotions possess you now, the same ones await you in the near future, if you do not change your thoughts. Get away from bad mood consciously: start humming something you love, “ever green,” listen to your favorite music. Think about those you love, call your loved ones, even for no reason, for example, I often use this way to improve my mood.
Thoughts must be effective, productive and focused.
“Never separate thought from action!... . An inactive thought is a meaningless thought”;
“Every thought that does not strive for action is a half-hearted and a traitor”
Rolland Romain (1866-1944)
Remember that thoughts create readiness, readiness ensures unmistakable choice. This is one of the mechanisms of action of thought, which makes thought an active force.
Thoughts should determine the desire for the best. If you are not thinking about what you want, throw those thoughts away. Think not about what you don't want, but about what you do want.
Focus your thoughts on what you want to attract into your life.
Only then will you be ready to meet this best, you will be ready not to miss events, circumstances, people that can contribute to this.
Discard thoughts about the unkindness of the environment. You need to feel respect for you from the people around you, even strangers, even when you do not see this respect in their actions.
This is difficult, but important, and, above all, for you. If you think about the hostility of the environment, your tension will invariably affect your words, your tone, actions, the expression of your face, and you will definitely get the hostility of the environment - what you imagined. There is no need to try to deceive yourself and others. Only spiritual impulses are genuine, what is done from the heart is genuine and those around you also feel it with their souls.
You need to think more often that you are successful and healthy!
Remind yourself of this more often and you will feel that your back straightens, your step becomes confident, and the tired shuffling of your soles disappears. Immediately, intuitively, elements of your success may appear in your head, as if in confirmation. If not, try to remember them consciously.
Strive for inner peace, inner peace, always.
Consciously move away from negativity, no matter how and where it appears.
Do not talk about negative events, do not discuss them, ignore negative television programs and eyewitness accounts. Shift your attention to what you want to see. Look at what you want to see and, over time, the number of negative thoughts will decrease.
Remember and do it!
1. Control your thoughts, the thinking process.
2. Be aware and select thoughts.
3. Throw negative thoughts out of your head, don’t ruin your life.
4. Consciously move away from negativity, no matter how and where it appears.
5. Practice mindlessness. Strive for inner peace.
6. Don’t let anything upset you!
7. Remind yourself: “Don’t judge, don’t blame, don’t scold.”
8. Change the way you think, thoughts should not be depressing,
9. Focus your thoughts on what you want to attract into your life.
10. Discard thoughts about the hostility of the environment, feel their respect.
11. Think more often that you are successful and healthy!
Conclusion.
What you have read is part of the book “How to Live Further.”
In principle, this thing is designed to adjust your life position. Second edition of “How to Live Further?” in October 2009 it was published by the Moscow publishing house “TORUS PRESS”.
I remember when I was a child, I was repeatedly asked the following comic problem: “Try not to think about a white monkey.” And if I approached this task seriously, it was very difficult to get rid of thoughts about it. It came out either in the form of a color, or in the form of an image, or simply in the words of the task that I set for myself, “not to think about the monkey.” Thank God, now such a task does not present itself to me special problems. I just don't think about something if I don't need it.
Why control your thoughts at all? What does this give? Well, first of all, clarity of thinking and lack of garbage in your head.
You begin to see your surroundings more clearly, see your motives, goals and desires, see the motives, goals and desires of the people around you. And accordingly, see whether the goals and objectives of the people around you and the situations in which you find yourself correspond to your goals and objectives. You become more effective for yourself and your life, move towards your goals faster and more easily avoid people and circumstances that interfere with this.
Secondly, uncontrollable, spontaneous thoughts often trigger unpleasant, destructive emotions, such as guilt, envy or fear, which destroy you from the inside, poisoning your existence, depriving you of joy, peace, and taking away your time that you could use for something useful or pleasant.
And finally, by controlling your thinking, you simply begin to find yourself. There is clarity about who you are, what you want and where you are going in your life. Self-confidence appears and unnecessary doubts disappear, which means the possibility of other people manipulating you disappears. After all, the main levers that manipulators use to control you are fears, doubts and self-doubt.
The main reason why disorder and chaos is formed in thoughts is a negative assessment of the environment, unclear understanding of one’s goals and desires, as well as fear associated with the past and fear of a possible future. I'll share some of the ways I've used or still use to get to grips with what's going on in your head.
- Try to always say “I”. “I want”, “I know”, “I think”, “I believe”, “I like”. Avoid vague, general, or vague definitions. Not “My friends and I went...”, but “I went with friends...”, not “It would be good to do this,” but “I think it would be good to do this,” not “They are bad,” but “They are to me.” do not like". This is not selfishness; in order to be an egoist it is not necessary to say “I”. This is the recognition that you exist and your desires exist, and you acknowledge this, first of all, to yourself. This is a statement to others about your existence, a demand that your existence be at least taken into account. Those. often people cannot defend their opinion and purposefully go towards the result, not because they lack strength, courage or skill, but because they are generally not sure what they are and what their desires are, and what They. Using this method, you gradually become the center of your own universe, returning to yourself the state of yourself that you once had as a child. You gradually gain clarity about who you are, what you want and what your goals are in this life.
— Avoid “false telepathy.” When communicating with other people, people often think something like “He looked at me askance (he chuckled, did not react to my words, etc., etc.), which means he thought...”. Remember that you cannot read other people's thoughts, even the thoughts of those closest to you. You never know why a person did something or reacted somehow in your presence. Maybe he has problems at work and is focused on how to solve them. Try to always rely on reality, and not on your fantasies and assumptions. Instead of thinking, “He just looked at me askance,” simply describe what is happening, “He just narrowed his eyes, and I took it as a negative assessment of myself.” If this continues to bother you, then just ask him what’s the matter, what he’s thinking about. Don't think of yourself as the center of the universe. Remember that everyone around you, just like you, for the most part, is focused on themselves and their problems. People around you think about you about as much as you think about them.
- Remember that you don’t owe anyone anything and don’t owe anything to anyone. Everything in your life is the result of your actions and your choices, and if you don't like something, you don't have to do it. Change in your words and thoughts the expressions “I Must”, “I am Obligated”, “I Have to” with the expressions “I Want”, “in my Interests” or even “it is beneficial for me”. This will remove the burden of other people’s desires and the responsibility taken upon you, and you will begin to realize your own more clearly. own desires, interests and obligations consciously accepted by you, which bring one benefit or another for you, and in other words, lead you to your specific goal.
- Remember, there are no problems. Often people fill their heads with thoughts about unresolved problems. They consider them, now from one side, now from the other, thinking about how to most effectively get out of the situation. But in fact, they sit doing nothing, tormenting themselves with difficult thoughts and experiences, and others with their oppressive mood. Remember how often you think about a problem when you do something to solve it? In my experience, not very often, because there is a specific task that needs to be completed, and there is a clear sequence of actions, performing which, one after another, you come to a specific result. So there are no problems, there are situations that you can do something to change at the moment, and you do this without bothering yourself with useless thinking. And there are situations that you can’t do anything to change (by at least at this moment), which means it’s generally pointless to worry about them, because it will not change anything. So don’t bother yourself with things you can’t influence. Do something more constructive. Or pleasant.
- If heavy thoughts continue to overcome you, you can try another way. Most of our fears and doubts are connected either with the past, which we relive again and again, unable to get out of the influence of what happened to us, or with the future, when we scroll possible development events and shudder at the possible unpleasant options for these events. In these moments, try to remember who you are and where you are. Look around. Listen to yourself, to your feelings. Most often, when doubts and fears torment us, nothing threatening actually happens. There may even be a very comfortable environment around you. There is no threat. There is nothing around you that hurts you or scares you. There is nothing around you that requires an urgent response and immediate action. All this has either already happened or is yet to come (which is also not a fact). Right now, in this moment, there is no threat. Right now, in this moment, everything is good and safe. Realize this.
- Feel your body. Another way to get out of the “now” moment is to shift your attention from your thoughts to yours. physical sensations. By shifting your attention to sensations, you strengthen the flow of information coming from the body and this information displaces unnecessary processes taking place in your head that take away valuable energy. First of all, useless thoughts. You can also enhance the sensations by starting to dance, or doing something physical exercise, or simply starting to move, tensing certain muscles that are activated to the maximum, trying to “feel” them. The latter is good to do, for example, while walking. People around you will not notice what you are doing, and at the same time you will begin to acquire better posture and smoother movements.
— If you find yourself in a situation where someone says something that you don’t really want to listen to, your brain begins to explode from the interlocutor’s speech and you begin to get irritated, and for some reason there is no way to interrupt communication, then you can use this way. Try to listen not to the meaning of words and the logic of speech, but to the sound of the interlocutor’s voice. You don't get annoyed when birds sing outside your window, do you? Here too, imagine that in front of you is such a big, personal bird, which performs its song for you personally. Listen to the rhythm, melody, energy, expression and tonality. Find the aesthetics in it and enjoy it.
— Master the art of positive thinking. I'm not talking about escaping reality, but about the ability to maintain balance. Negative thinking is the norm in our world. Unfortunately. Almost everyone, without exception, tends to fall into negativity and does nothing to compensate for it. Positive thinking will be just such a compensation, and at the same time a way to get out of the hole of negative perception, if you fall into it. Search in everything the good side, positive features. Be prepared for the unexpected, but assume the best. Be objective! There is nothing in the world that carries exclusively negative qualities (well, maybe except for the Dark Lord 🙂). Remember that anything is possible in life. Even the most positive and magical things for you.
Probably a medium-sized book could be written on this topic. Although there are already quite a lot of them. But I hope that these few ways that I have shared with you will help you think more clearly, clearly, constructively and purposefully, and help you to achieve your happier and more fulfilled life.
The worst thing about anxious thoughts is that even when you realize you're acting irrationally, it doesn't always help. In most cases, this only increases anxiety when the thought comes: “If I know this is irrational, why can’t I stop? Oh god, I can't stop it." And you begin to believe that you are no longer in control of your mind.
Amy Desu
Cycle of Thoughts
Life throws us different situations. For example, you are walking through the forest and see a bear. The thought automatically arises: “There’s a bear there!” It triggers a physiological response: blood pressure rises, pulse and heart rate increase. Several emotions appear almost simultaneously. Seeing a bear makes you feel anxious, panicked, and afraid.
Then the defense mechanism starts - you run away from the bear. Although they say that it is best not to run away, for the sake of the example we will ignore this fact. And now you are safe. What's the next thought? “Ugh, I'm safe! I survived!". And your body's response is that your heart rate slows, your pulse rate drops, and you begin to breathe more naturally. Other emotions are included - joy, relief, satisfaction. What will your behavior be? Remembering the miraculous rescue, upon returning home you will open a bottle of wine or enjoy ice cream. To celebrate.
But let’s say that in the cave you are overcome by completely different thoughts: “I’m such a weakling! Why did I run away? It was just a bear cub. Why am I always such a coward? You are upset, your breathing remains fast and ragged. Emotions range between disappointment, anger and self-loathing. What about behavior? You can also buy yourself a kilo of ice cream, but that will be your punishment for yourself.
The above scenario is Aaron Beck's cognitive behavioral theory in a nutshell. Its essence is that thoughts, beliefs, feelings, body, behavior and our past are connected: they influence each other. Through the practice of managing our thoughts, we can change the physiological or mental side of our reactions. For example, avoid stress, depression or anxiety, create enthusiasm and great enthusiasm for doing something.
It's difficult, but with dedication and practice you can achieve impressive results.
Benefits of Mastering Your Thoughts
You will sleep better
The ability to control your thoughts directly depends on the quality of your sleep and how long it takes to fall asleep. Are you tired of tossing and turning in bed for several hours?
You will achieve inner peace
Anyone who experiences panic attacks or is subject to obsessive thoughts will be simply happy if it all ends. And the first thing you should start with is control of thoughts.
You will increase your emotional intelligence
We have already found out that managing thoughts directly affects emotions. If so, then you will increase your self-confidence, begin to understand your feelings and begin to experience less stress.
You will improve your memory and concentration
Once we learn to direct our thoughts in the right direction, we will begin to concentrate several times better. Which means it will improve. Add to this the fact that development depends on its quality and you get a whole range of advantages.
How to learn to control your thoughts
What can you do to remove obsessive thoughts and learn to replace them with proactive, necessary, positive ones?
Ten Day Challenge
This method is based on changing your vocabulary. Without language, we find ourselves in a state of emotional chaos. We have the ability to communicate, and the way we do this can improve the neural functioning of the brain and relieve stress. If we are careless with the words we say in our heads and out loud, we lose our ability to solve problems, calm our minds, and communicate with people.
Here are four steps you need to take to change your vocabulary. 10 days are enough for this, but everything is individual.
Step One: Become aware of the habitual words you use to describe negative or anxious emotions.
Start noticing the labels you attach to situations, emotions and feelings. If you say something like, “I'm so worried about this,” stop yourself and acknowledge that the “worry” may be too much. strong word. It might be worth saying that you're "a little worried." Watch your language and do not exaggerate the intensity of emotions.
Or better yet: consciously choose a word that will reduce the negative connotation of the situation. Instead of saying you're "angry" at someone, describe yourself as a little "annoyed" or "disappointed with their reaction."
If someone asks you, “How are you?” Instead of saying “Okay,” you can simply smile and break the pattern. You can add: “You have no idea how I feel!” We often miss great opportunities Cheer yourself up if we use familiar words.
Step Two: Write down three words that you use regularly that reinforce your negative feelings or emotions.
You might use words like “I'm upset,” “I'm depressed,” or “I'm humiliated.” Come up with alternative words that reduce the intensity of these .
Maybe instead of “I'm humiliated” you should say “I'm a little embarrassed” about how the meeting went?
To soften emotional tension, you can use so-called modifiers: “I just A little puzzled”, “It’s for me slightly not to my liking." Remember that we lose our temper when we use categorical words.
Step Three: Write down three words you use to describe your positive experience.
People often ask you: “How are you?” Why not finally come up with three original yet truthful answers that enhance positive feelings and inspire you? Say “amazing,” “incredible,” “impressive.” These may not be the words you feel are your own. Then find yours so that when you use them, you feel whole.
Step Four: Pull the Right Levers.
Choose two people from your life: close friend and someone else whom you respect and are afraid to disappoint. Tell them about your obligation to replace keywords in his vocabulary. Explain that if they hear you use an old word, they should ask, “Do you really feel that way or are you just using old language?”
If you say, "I'm depressed," let close person will ask, “Are you really depressed or just a little out of sorts?” All this will provide additional support and help form a new habit.
By carefully and consciously choosing the words you use to describe your experiences, you can become more sensitive to how you really feel and how strong those emotions are.
Programming
Each of us, at any point in our lives, believes that we deserve more. But when reality diverges from this belief, we experience disappointment and dissatisfaction. They either push us forward towards change, or they slow us down and drive us into a shell. Which option do you choose?
If the second, then you need to “reprogram” yourself. Here are three steps to do this.
Decide
What is your desired result? The first step is to get absolutely clear about what you want. Clarity is strength. The more accurately you envision the end result, the stronger your vision will be, and the greater the chance of turning that vision into reality.
If you argue with a friend, you risk getting involved in a conflict and ruining the mood for yourself and him. But what if you stopped in the middle of an argument and asked yourself what the desired outcome was? It’s not about arguing and swearing, but about finding a solution? Now the focus is completely on this.
Give direction to your thoughts. What do you want physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually, in your business, work, personal life? Decide that you will not act unconsciously.
Take Action
Now it's time to rid your mind of fear and uncertainty. How can I do that? By turning down other opportunities that do not lead to a decision.
Fear is one of the biggest traps that keeps people from taking action. Fear of rejection, failure, success, pain, the unknown - we all have fears. AND the only way cope with them - resist them. You have to look them in the eye and make the effort no matter what.
Are you afraid of failure? Failure is an education. Look at it this way: if you fail, you will learn what doesn't work. And when you try again, you can use it to your advantage. People often don't take real action to achieve their goals. They just keep saying, "Someday I'll do it."
The ability to interrupt negative thoughts is like a muscle. At first, when you try to load it, it will be difficult and even painful. But if you start small and try to change your way of thinking every day, you will gradually become stronger. Soon everything will work out effortlessly.
Take action and overcome the negativity. Take action to make your life better. When you take action and end up with a small victory, you move on to the next level. When you do something you couldn’t expect from yourself before, it fills you with strength.
Reprogram the brain
Once you have clearly decided what you are going to do and have taken action, you need to take inventory of your life. Pay attention to what you are getting from your current activities and evaluate what is working and what is not. And then change. Find solutions that will help.
The most important part of finding a solution is flexibility. Flexibility is strength. If you're harsh in your judgment and life feels like a tunnel, you're missing out on unexpected opportunities and alternative routes that can provide incredible benefits. Remember that you are never in control of 100% of your life and all situations.
Think about it: Is your life going according to plan? Probably not. The path is never straight. And so it is important to remain flexible - to learn from mistakes, cope with failures and use negative experiences as a driving force for change. The point is to understand the only thing: Keep moving forward and use mistakes and failures to achieve success.
Fight negative thoughts
When it comes to managing thoughts, we mean getting rid of negative ones. Everything else seems to work itself out.
Because we are constantly exposed to negative information from the media and other people, our brains are always on alert to focus on possible threats to our safety and well-being. These negative stimuli release neurochemicals in the body that cause anxiety and depression.
How to get rid of negative thoughts:
- Write them down. When automatic negative thoughts start running through your mind, write them down so you can clearly identify and name them.
- Explore them. Ask yourself: are these thoughts true?
- Answer them. If negative thoughts are false, address them. This dialogue brings you out of your state of unconsciousness and allows you to look your enemy in the face. It is best to keep it on paper.
All methods of disrupting negative thoughts have one thing in common - they encourage you to take an active role in challenging your thoughts rather than being in passive acceptance (which is life-destroying). In a word, without consciously working on your thoughts - sitting down, writing them down and answering - it is impossible to get rid of the negative.
Travis Robertson Strategy
Thoughts are everything. Many people are not aware of what they are thinking most of the time. This is where all the problems come from.
At the same time, you know the impact thoughts can have on you. You may become depressed, angry, frustrated, lonely, anxious, sad and doubtful.
Thoughts control how we feel at any given moment. Therefore, by controlling our thoughts, we change our feelings.
Robertson offers five steps to mastering your thoughts.
Learn to stop your thoughts
One of the first things you need to do is learn to stop in the middle of your thoughts (good, bad or just plain boring). IN different time catch yourself thinking every day. How are you feeling? What are you thinking about? Why are you thinking about this?
When we are angry, our intelligence level drops significantly. You also forget that you need to observe your thoughts. So watch them when you are in your normal mood.
Don't put pressure on yourself. Take 5 minutes and try to understand what are the main thoughts in your head right now.
Identify Negative Emotions
Every feeling we have is a direct result of what we were thinking. So if you feel anxious, ask yourself, “Why am I anxious?” Always look for the root of the problem.
Record a mental movie
By default, most people “make” negative psychological films. When a current situation reminds us of a previous one, we tend to replay the movie.
What you need to do is determine what kind of movie it is and “write” it down. For what? Because you need to pull it out of the subconscious. Now you can analyze the film with a cool head.
Find the lie
Watch the film carefully. How to spot a lie? As a rule, these are some specific labels, like “stupid”, “loser” and “not deserving of success”. You know that none of this is true. Write down each point of the lie on paper.
Recognize the Truth
The only way to fight lies is the truth, and now is the time to understand what the truth is for you. Next to each false point, write down about ten refutations. If you are stupid, then why did you act like this in these ten cases? clever man? This simple exercise will remove the negative soil from under your feet.
Books
There are many books on the topic of thought management, so you will not have a shortage of literature. In some, the bias goes towards esotericism, in others - science, while others simply contain good advice from personal experience authors. We advise you to start with the first book on our list, and then decide for yourself which book to read next.
- "How a Man Thinks or the Thinking of a Man" James Allen
- “The Power of Now or the Power of Now” Eckhart Tolle
- “The subconscious can do anything” John Kehoe
- "The Silva Method. Mind Control by Jose Silva and Philip Miele
- “Dreaming is not harmful. How to Get What You Really Want by Barbara Sher and Annie Gottlieb
- "Think and Grow Rich" Napoleon Hill
- “Change your thinking and you will change your life” Brian Tracy
- "Creative Visualization" by Shakti Gawain
- "Thoughts Matter" David Hamilton
- "Awaken the Giant Within" Tony Robbins
Each person comes at one time to realize the power of thoughts. This can happen at 20 or 60, but the sooner the better. We hope the article has convinced you that mastering your thoughts is the most main step on your way to peace of mind and achieving your goals.
We wish you good luck!