How to build a relationship with a man - the most important question every woman on planet Earth and perhaps beyond. Building and maintaining relationships with the opposite sex is one of the main tasks of a woman, inherent in her by nature itself.

A woman is the keeper of the hearth, she was created to create and maintain comfort, inspire a man to perform exploits and provide for his family, give birth and raise offspring. Accordingly, a man is needed to fulfill his feminine function. How good the relationship is in a couple, how correct the choice of partners is, is based on true feelings love and tenderness, not only the immediate future depends, but also the long-term prospects of creating a family and having children.

In order to meet the right man and to build harmonious relationships, first of all, it is necessary to realize and accept the roles that are given to us by nature.

A man is a conqueror, a breadwinner, a protector. A woman is the keeper of home warmth, creating a special creative atmosphere in the house.

Thus, the man’s task is to kill the mammoth and bring food to the cave. The woman’s task is to cook the mammoth and feed the family, and inspire the man to start a new hunt. And so on in a circle. A woman gives energy to a man, a man takes it and transforms it to provide food, money and security for his family. This is nature.

Due to the fact that we have not been living in cave conditions for a long time and the benefits of civilization have become much wider than in the time of dinosaurs, men and women have acquired additional functions. Everyone now has career ambitions, hobbies and personal interests, delegates housekeeping to hired workers, children are raised by nannies, etc. Despite this, you cannot change your inner nature. Accordingly, the basic principles of building relationships between a man and a woman remain the same.

Psychologists identify certain “hypostases” or images in which they imagine a woman. It is important that these images are inherent in every woman without exception from birth, but due to upbringing and the conditions of the social environment where a girl grows and is formed, some may be suppressed and not manifested, while others, on the contrary, may be actively demonstrated. The quality of a relationship with a man directly depends on these very images. What kind of hypostases are these?

• Girl. This is the level of a woman’s emotional manifestation, which is characterized by such qualities as: playfulness, flirting, desire to receive gifts and amenities, obedience, admiration for a man, lack of criticism, humor, lightness, etc. ;
• Mistress. This is the level of showing concern for a man: cook food, mend socks, bring a newspaper;
• Mistress. This is the level of sexual liberation of a woman for a particular man;
• Queen. This is the mental/intellectual level, the level of depth of a woman. He is characterized by: education, a woman’s outlook, interests, self-realization, etc.

It is under the conditions of a dynamic change in the above roles/images of a woman that a connection is established with a man in different formats: lovers, business partner, role of wife, etc.

How well a woman plays the desired role and how skillfully and in right time replaces them, the man’s attitude towards her depends.

Besides " role playing games"and the chosen format of relationships, and we are talking about relationships in a couple between a man and a woman in this case, the union goes through several stages, namely:

• Chemistry of love(up to 1.5 years). This is the period of getting to know each other, pink glasses, dates, crazy actions, passionate sex, the desire to spend every minute together, the desire to breathe with your partner, flowers, bows and balloons;
• Saturation(up to 0.5 years). This is a period when the chemistry of love remains, but a certain fatigue from the relationship is added, it’s already a little boring. Characteristic of this period is the desire to distance oneself a little from the partner, to have personal space and time;
• Disgust(up to 1 year). This is one of the most painful periods in a relationship, can be critical and often leads to a breakup. It is characterized by the fact that the rose-colored glasses are removed and the partner appears as he is in reality and in everyday life. He slurps when he eats, dirty laundry is lying all over the house, he doesn’t brush his teeth thoroughly enough, etc. Now almost any human manifestation of a partner causes irritation or disgust.
  (Often couples stop in their dynamics of relationship development at the stage of disgust and switch back to the chemistry of love, then to saturation. And so on in a circle. This is a kind of stuckness in the relationship)
• Patience. If people managed to survive and go through the previous three stages, they reach more high level relationships - patience with each other. This is a state (not a period) when people objectively evaluate the human qualities and manifestations of a partner and accept him;
• Education. This is the time when people accepted each other and begin to learn to live with real person, taking into account all its features;
• Friendship when partners perceive each other as equals and can walk hand in hand for the rest of their lives and not look elsewhere for a better option;
• Love. And only after going through all the vicissitudes in the form of stages of relationships with their characteristics and without being separated, true love comes to people.

If you met worthy man and want to build a loving, lasting relationship with him, following tips will definitely help you.

Play different roles

As we know, a woman appears before a man in different images(girl, mistress, mistress and queen).

• You should know that a man is a conqueror by nature. In order to arouse his interest and desire to conquer, you need to wear a certain hypostasis. Who is the hardest to conquer? Without a doubt, the queen. Queen behaves unapproachably, but very dignified. She demonstrates the depth of her personality, but keeps her distance. She fascinates externally and attracts internally. I want to have her.
• As soon as the man is intrigued and takes the initiative, you should “turn on” the girl and play with the man. Girl always creates an atmosphere and gives a feeling. You may not have model appearance and have crooked teeth, but if you create an aura of playfulness and fun (in in a good way words), men are fascinated by this. They want to take care of you, captivate you, and gift you. How more man will invest in you at this stage, the more valuable you will be to him.
• After playing girl, we connect the hostess and demonstrate care for the man. Mistress shows what a woman can give a man in return for his advances. We prepare delicious breakfasts and pack the brakes for work.
• And only after the hostess’s demonstration do we turn it on mistress as a reward.

In fact, there is no clear sequence. Now it may seem strange that the couple did not have sex during the period of love and stage candy-bouquet period. This happens, but rarely. It is important to remember the truth here:

What you enter into a relationship with is what will continue.

This means that if you enter a relationship as a mistress (you met and slept together), then, most likely, you will not live up to the queen and wife. This is a trend, although there are exceptions.

Maintain balance

Harmonious relationships That’s why they are harmonious, because in them everyone takes as much as they give. It is difficult to measure this exchange materially, it is energy metabolism. If you are giving a man too much energy, causing yourself to become physically tired, stop.

Love lives where there is balance. If a man drains you, think about whether this is the man you need.

Make a decision

Every woman wants to have a strong relationship and the question of whether to start a new romance is generally not raised. If you have decided to enter into a relationship with a man, at the same moment you should think about making another, no less important, decision - are you ready to separate from external social influence?

A man fell in love with a woman and began dating. They are thinking about getting married. And then mom says: “I don’t really like her, Kolenka is prettier, richer, and looks at you more tenderly!”

How to keep a man

By and large, relationships based on love, deep respect, tenderness, and care for each other do not need to be maintained. They will automatically. But for them to exist, it is worth remembering important things for any man, without whom he simply cannot be with you. This is acceptance, admiration, hugs.

Communicating with people around us is one of the important skills that we encounter every day. Communication skills are acquired and developed in childhood, and then depending on personal experience and the people around – transforms, improves or degrades. Not everyone knows how to build relationships with people not only successfully, but also on a mutually beneficial basis. modern man. It is important to have not only analytical skills, but also to know what the rules and secrets of this process are.

But all this primarily depends on the person himself. For some it is easier, for others it is harder. The problem of relationships with people will always be acute in modern society, and all kinds of psychologists and sociologists will never stop studying this topic - and all because it is a real treasure trove of new ideas and theories that allow us to learn more about society as a whole, and about each person specifically.

Let's look at the rules and secrets of successfully building relationships with people around you based on the recommendations of practicing psychologists.

Three main secrets of communication success

As psychologists say, there are three main secrets of communication and interpersonal success. These include aspects such as:

• the ability to listen and hear your interlocutor;
• the ability to adequately assess one’s own abilities and role in the contactee’s life;
• adequacy of psychological reactions in response to the information received.

If you are experiencing problems in contact with other people, then first of all you should pay attention to childhood. Sometimes even the smallest and unnoticeable events at first glance become the cause of serious problems. It is very important from early childhood to learn to connect with others. mutual language, which is not always easy. But it is precisely because of this that we learn to be adults and learn to build relationships with other people. Without such a skill to live in modern world impossible: like it or not, every day you communicate with sellers, neighbors, parents and colleagues.

The ability to listen and adequately evaluate the information received is the most important communication skill. It is impossible to build successful relationships with other people if you do not give exactly the reaction that the interlocutor expects to see. For example, a friend, talking about her problems in relationships with men, does not always want to hear regret and pity. Most often, such a person is looking for moral support and information that will raise self-esteem.

You must always remain true to yourself, regardless of who fate brings you together in life and at work. Don't try to impress a person by pretending to be someone you really are not - even a small lie about such things will sooner or later be revealed. Don't try to be someone other than yourself - this is the best way to improve relationships with other people. We always feel when a person is sincere and when he is showing off. And your actions should also show you as an individual, and not a beautiful copy of someone else's image. Do and act as you see fit. When discussing a particular issue, you should be sure of the things you are talking about.

It's also worth being genuinely interested in what you're talking about with the other person. This best way meet and make friends with a lot of people. Another important condition– this is respect for both yourself and your interlocutor. And don’t skimp on compliments and praise - people really like it when their merits are appreciated and their actions noted. This is not only a way to show your good manners, but also an opportunity to raise the self-esteem of another person, give him confidence or add enthusiasm in any endeavor.

The basis of relationships between people is trust and sincerity!

The foundation and basis of any relationship is trust, without it you will not get far in the modern world. Trust arises only if a person is confident in what exactly you are. You should not put up walls in relationships with people because of past sad experiences - undoubtedly, this is very, very difficult to do. But this useful skill will only add advantages to you as a person, a very strong person.

Trust and sincerity of your intentions are a solid foundation for strong and lasting relationships between people, regardless of social and gender differences!

The next principle is: “Say what you are going to do. And do it." You shouldn't make promises that you can't keep. You should not promise a person mountains of gold if you are not even confident in your abilities or have no idea how you will do it. Be a man of your word, and then those around you will undoubtedly be drawn to you. People will know that you can be trusted, that you are a holistic person who knows your capabilities well and skillfully accepts them, and does not pay attention to the envy and stupidity of others, he does not try to seem like someone else.

Smile as often as possible and under any circumstances. Just look at those around you. And what do you see there? Tired, irritated and impatient faces of people who are always in a hurry somewhere or arguing with someone. I don’t even want to approach them, let alone talk to them. A smiling person immediately attracts the attention of others and instinctively evokes a feeling of trust. A smile is best accessory for a girl, which designers have not forgotten to tell us almost since the very beginning of fashion. She seems to be saying, “I like you. You make me happy. I'm glad to see you". Just try it and you will see - people, for the most part, respond to us in the same way.

Most successful people know how to build relationships between people at various social levels. This allows them to motivate those around them to be successful and support Hard time and influence employee behavior. It is worth using these rules and secrets to successfully build interpersonal communications.

When talking, you should avoid criticism, condemnation or pity, which often do not solve the problem at all, and sometimes even aggravate the problem. Without noticing it, you can offend a person or completely ruin a relationship. You should carefully monitor your speech and try to understand the person, and not judge without knowing or understanding the situation. Put yourself in their shoes: what would you do in a similar situation, what would you do and what would you do? And then, together with your interlocutor, try to find a way or at least develop several possible options way out of this or that situation.

And the last, most important rule is the ability to remain silent in right moment. It is this quality that we value so much in others, and we want to be noticed and appreciated in us. The ability to remain silent at the right moment and listen without interrupting the interlocutor encourages people to have a more frank dialogue, or just a conversation in a kind and calm atmosphere.

In order not to be disappointed in the chosen one, a woman needs to deal with your own desires, understand what qualities are important to her in a man. There is no doubt that almost all women strive for the right, close to ideal relationship. It turns out that this is not the case for everyone. When illusions collapse, many decide to come to terms with the shortcomings of their chosen one out of fear of loneliness. Some recommendations on how to avoid disappointments in relationships:

• For relationships to be harmonious, you need to show care and support not only in moments of joy, but also in difficult life situations. Always be honest with a man. Start working on yourself, strive to become better.
• Do not try to remake a man, accept both the strengths and weaknesses of his personality. Sometimes taking the initiative into your own hands is much better than waiting endlessly. The time has long passed when only men were the initiators.
• There is no need to interfere with relatives and friends in the relationship - the couple’s personal problems are solved only in private, without the participation of other people. Spending time together brings you closer together. You can often go to the movies, plays, walks, or even better, find a common hobby.
• small to your companion romantic gifts. Men don't like attention fewer women, they just don’t admit it. Compliments and declarations of love are the key to a warm and lasting relationship.
• It is better to never lead to quarrels and scandals, but if a disagreement does happen, you should try to make peace as soon as possible. You just need to come up and hug your loved one without finding out who was to blame or who started the quarrel.
• It is worth showing yourself from the economic side, because a man sees in a woman not only an object of adoration, but also a potential wife, the mother of future children.

It is important not to forget that any relationship is built on mutual respect and love. A couple who follows this simple truth will be able to avoid many problems and misunderstandings.

There are several general tips that can help you build strong union loving friend people's friend.

It's better not to introduce anyone young man next to her future husband. Biased interrogation about life plans can scare a guy away. Having retreated before such a powerful onslaught, he will not have time to discern the girl’s sincere intentions. Although in fact she can be sincere, selfless, caring, and in general, ideal for him. You should start with ordinary communication, learn about each other’s personal qualities. There is no need to rush, even if it is really fate. Everything has its time.

A reckless desire to start living together at all costs and as soon as possible can do a disservice. Perhaps, having better known the characteristics of her partner, the woman will no longer want cohabitation with him. Irritation will quickly be replaced by frustration. There will be no one to blame for this, except perhaps excessive haste.

Too much frequent meetings and calls are also undesirable, especially on initial stage relationships. Such importunity can quickly become boring. Rare but productive meetings a couple of times a week are less tiring, and besides, it good way check how strong the feelings are.

It is better to avoid sudden and dramatic changes in a relationship. You can't recognize a person a short time, which means it won’t be that this is the same companion for life. , overwhelming people at an early stage of a relationship, do not provide the opportunity to adequately evaluate many things. Plus, the too rapid development of events is mentally and physically exhausting. This may cause a person to quickly burn out and put an end to the relationship.

You shouldn’t turn your soul inside out by complaining and showing your weaknesses. Losers are pitied, but not loved. It is much wiser to keep a certain secret in the relationship. The more negative emotions will be dumped on the partner, the less chance there will be for a happy and reliable relationship. We should always strive to focus on positive circumstances.
It is better to avoid minor quarrels, and if sometimes this cannot be done, it is better to take the first step towards reconciliation. It is important not to lie and make it clear that deception on the part of a man is also unacceptable.

A respectful attitude towards the chosen one should be manifested not only in communication with him, but also in the company of other people. If possible, any attempts to humiliate or insult him should be stopped once and for all. This position not only increases the woman’s authority, but also the authority of her partner. No need to listen to gossipers. You should always protect your happiness from outsiders’ attempts to destroy it. Important role plays a feeling of mutual support that strengthens the union. Sexy side relationships should also not be in last place.

It is better for a woman not to start dating a man burdened with more problems than herself. This is often true in situations of significant age difference. A woman can various reasons fail to solve some complex problems life situations, for example, in the case serious problems with health. And even if she succeeds, there is no guarantee that the man will appreciate it.

Relationships should not be one-sided, this will only increase misunderstandings. Constant infringement of one's interests in favor of a partner will sooner or later lead to a breakup. Jealousy is a destructive feeling. While on initial stage relationships, people do not yet make serious promises to each other, much less swear eternal fidelity. If a young man is flirting with someone, you can try to do the same. If light flirting is not confirmed by anything serious, there is no reason to worry. Trust always brings a couple closer together.

You should never give up your dream ideal relationship. If a woman learns to overcome mistrust, she will be able to build a strong, sincere union. The main thing is to always remember your self-esteem.

As one young, successful, happy woman recently said family life woman: “The main path of development, self-education, the path of knowledge and achievement begins from the moment of creating a family!” I completely agree with this statement. Love is the greatest joy and value; it gives us incentive and energy for self-improvement and self-knowledge, it reveals and develops in us best qualities. Love inspires, inspires, makes us strong and brave, makes us beautiful; it gives meaning to our achievements, our impulses, dreams; it helps us build and implement best laid plans; it gives us a sense of inner peace and security, which allows us to act effectively and be successful.

Love is an incredible treasure that needs to be constantly rejoiced at, it needs to be nurtured, protected, cherished from its very inception!

It is important and necessary not to let the relationship between a man and a woman take its course from the very beginning, but to build it gradually, every day and throughout life! Better yet, start thinking about your future relationships even before they arise.

Until I meet the man

It is necessary to form an image of a future relationship with a man and honestly answer a number of questions:

- What do I want, what do I expect from a relationship?

- What does it matter to me? this moment primary value - career, self-development, future home, family?

— Am I ready to give time, invest energy in long term relationship, shape them, develop them day by day, take care of them?

- Do I have a need, a sincere desire to be with someone, spend time together, and possibly live together, take care of him, open up to him?

- Do I have a desire to be taken care of? Am I ready to internally accept male attention and courtship, am I ready for a man to propose to me? Do I consider myself worthy of all this? I am sincerely sure that the desire to meet a loved one and loving man, build strong relationships, spend your whole life together, caring for each other, growing and developing together, this is what every woman wants. Since this is important, a priority for every woman. Even if she hides it from herself somewhere deep inside because of inner fear and uncertainty that she can be loved for who she is. Although it happens that different stages life, different priorities are set.

But, if you really want a close relationship, your family and your home in the future, then you should honestly answer the following questions:

- What kind of woman do I want to be with him?

- What kind of relationship do I want us to have (how we treat each other, how we behave towards each other, how we spend time together, what we do, what we strive for)? Why is it so important to ask yourself these and other questions before meeting HIM? Because it is important to understand what we want and not to deceive ourselves and him. It’s better to ask yourself questions before the meeting and periodically during the relationship, checking with your true desires, listening to yourself, than at some point suddenly realizing that you were looking for the wrong qualities and in the wrong men, that you wanted a different relationship or didn’t want them at all.

What to remember, what mistakes to avoid in relationships, what image to strive for.

— At any stage of development of relations between a man and a woman, it is important to remember that they should bring joy, satisfaction, a feeling of constantly strengthening inner peace, harmony with oneself, with the world, a sense of correctness. They should be light, natural, happy! Therefore, it is important to constantly recheck your feelings in order to notice in time if something is going wrong. If the relationship initially does not work out, and you are not comfortable with the person, meetings do not bring joy, then you should even think about whether it is necessary to continue them?

No matter how many times you date, it is important to remember that you are two separate people, two personalities, each of you has your own habits, characteristics, desires, dreams, needs, and activities.

Firstly, when entering into a relationship, getting to know a person and his characteristics better, constantly answer yourself the questions: do I need this particular person? Am I ready to live in peace or put up with his peculiarities and habits? If “Yes” – great, but if “NO”, then maybe it’s not worth it? The misconception of many women: “Now he has many habits and shortcomings that are unpleasant to me, he is the one who is “sick,” but in general he is white and fluffy! He was like this before me, but with me he will change, I will change him!” Of course, when people sincerely want to be together and make each other happy, they are ready to compromise and change some of their habits for mutual comfort. But you must be prepared for the fact that you cannot fundamentally change a person (and why change him?). Although, the desire to “change and remake” is a strange desire in itself. If it arises, maybe HE is not needed at all? After all, many habits are either not affected at all, or only over time! Secondly, you must understand that since you are two separate, integral individuals, then you must have a part of your life, your own time for yourself. I in no way mean secrets and “outside relationships.” I just want to warn against attempts to completely “merge” lives and interests, to completely absorb a partner’s personal time and space with one’s own affairs, things, interests. Even if you spend a lot of time together, remember that everyone should have their own interests, meetings with friends, and alone time.

This way you will be interesting to each other, because at the time of the meeting, each of you had your own life, you liked each other with your characteristics, activities, hobbies, so you don’t need to throw it all away. Every person needs to be alone sometimes or mind their own business. In addition, in order to share something with a partner, you first need to accumulate something.

Respect yourself and gain self-confidence

Especially at the beginning of a relationship, be careful about the balance of attention, calling each other, and taking initiative on both sides. While you are just getting to know a person, it is important to see the situation adequately. Does he show initiative? Does he often call you or do you call him all the time, provoking him into conversations and meetings? As in one competent film, a man explained to a girl what the psychology of men is like: “If a man wants to see you, hear you, he will do it. But if a guy doesn’t call you at all, it means he doesn’t want to call you!” And although it is necessary to be able to let a man know that you are interested in him, that you are happy to communicate with him, you also need to leave him space for initiative, give him the opportunity to choose, and at the same time draw conclusions from his behavior.

Get used to asking and accepting and teach a Man to be Responsible

As your relationship develops, begin to little by little ask your man to help you with something, to do something, maybe something at the everyday level. He needs to get used to it and understand that you need him, to feel that he is strong, that he can be responsible for you, that he is your support and protector. This way he will gradually get used to helping you and learn to be responsible. But always remember that you don’t owe each other anything, no one is obligated to do anything! Therefore, we can want something, offer something, even ask, but we cannot be offended, demand, arrange clarifications, scandals! It’s just that when you remember that this is completely natural, that each of you has your own affairs and responsibilities in life, has needs and interests, has the right to choose, then there are a little less expectations and resentments.

Learn to communicate with each other

- If you really want close, open, natural and light, strong and trust relationships, it is important to TALK! A fascinating process of recognition loved one never stops (especially since a person is not something frozen, he develops, discovers something new in himself and in the world, changes)!

Moreover, for a complete, harmonious development relationships, you must talk through and develop all aspects: your relationship; your mutual interests, pastime, joint vacation, joint plans; yours intimate relationships(what you like/dislike, what you would like to change, improve) your relationships with each other’s friends and relatives; your way of life (if there is one, or its beginnings).

It is especially important to speak up when misunderstanding and discomfort arise! If your relationship is only at the beginning of its development, you may still have little understanding of what this or that reaction means, this or that behavior of a person, something may not suit you, upset you. Many problems can be eliminated if misunderstandings are eliminated. Few people can boast that they can read minds. So is your partner. Therefore, the easiest way to get some result, resolve a conflict, understand each other is to talk! Moreover, it is important to talk about all this both at the beginning of a relationship and throughout your life! This topic is covered very well in the book by Anastasia Gai “How to make a man get off the couch 2. Secrets of happy women”. I wish those who have not yet met their love to find this happiness as soon as possible! And for those who already have a loved one - develop and strengthen their connection, take care of this extraordinary treasure, love!

Best regards, Olga Sheina.