People meet each other and realize that they are not going to be separated in the near future. And, indeed, everything is going just fine. Love, marriage proposal, even quarrels turning into stormy reconciliations. However, several years pass and it turns out that the couple no longer has anything to strive for. A man and a woman still need each other, but there is no longer any understanding of why they stay together. Much has not come true, and, as both understand, will not come true. Sometimes these dreams were what bound people together in the first place. Then their relationship becomes meaningless. Let's talk about what to do if the relationship is at an impasse.
Reasons that lead a couple to a dead end
The most common reason for this situation is the lack of desire on the part of one of the couple members to change anything.
Such a situation can take the form of:
- the words are not true;
- people delay fulfilling promises;
- a man refuses to marry;
- the couple is unable to live together;
- one of them is married and does not want to get a divorce;
- the spouse does not improve the material conditions of existence;
- someone in the family does not want to work;
- life interests diverged;
- everyone gravitates towards his relatives;
- children grew up and left their parents' home, etc.
Most often, it is unfulfilled promises that lead a couple into a dead end. Love remains, it is just as strong, but it no longer brings anything but pain and suffering. The relationship is going well overall. The man is trying in every possible way to make amends, but the most important thing is missing and is not even on the agenda in the future. There is nowhere to dream and move on. The worst thing is that people even stop quarreling because they understand that this will not solve the problem. Both withdraw into themselves. Cooling inevitably sets in.
Confirmed, but long time unfulfilled promises. Often a specific goal is set that can take the relationship to the next level. new level. But only one is interested in her. The second person seemingly supports him in this intention, but all his words turn out to be lies. This could be giving birth to children, receiving higher education, moving to another city or country.
It also happens that a guy and a girl have long become a bride and groom, their relatives and friends congratulated them, but they still can’t get married.
Or a man promises a woman to move to new apartment. The money has been saved, housing has been looked after, but for some reason he does not take such a step.
Another option could be vows to his wife to leave his mistress, but years pass, and he is still involved with her.
Attempts to talk frankly are met with constant excuses. The person assures that everything will be as it should, sets new deadlines and breaks them again. If people do not break up, then they lose interest in each other and become more and more distant.
The essence of a deadlock situation
In these cases, the question of whether the relationship should be maintained becomes very acute.
To begin with, you need to analyze the following questions:
- Is love as strong as in the early years? If a person is dear to you, along with all his shortcomings, and he is forgiven again and again, then it is worth having a serious conversation with each other and developing new joint goals. It is important that negative character traits do not destroy relationships, but serve as an addition to the shortcomings and advantages of the other person.
- It is advisable to find out why people did not break up immediately as soon as difficulties arose. If they can discuss uncomfortable topics without slamming the door and walking away, then the couple still has potential. If the question of divorce has already arisen before, but they have come to the conclusion that they do not want to break off the relationship, such a signal indicates that the difficulties are surmountable. It is impossible for each of the lovers to replace the other with someone else. They are ideal partners.
- It is important whether they have formed intimate relationships. If sex does not bind people, but serves only as a formal obligation, then the relationship is unlikely to be preserved. People should feel good together, otherwise everything loses its meaning. If they don't enjoy their deepest experiences, then there is very little left to keep them together. Any quarrel can be overcome at night. A couple in which there is no harmony does not have such a tool for reconciliation.
- It is very important whether people develop spiritually at the same speed or whether someone is growing while others are frozen in place. In this case, new horizons open up for one, while the other burrows deeper and deeper into its own rut. There is a feeling that the one who has moved on has a heavy burden that he is forced to drag with him through life and which he cannot get rid of. It is also important whether people have mutual friends or whether everyone has found their own social circle and does not seek to include their spouse in it.
- It is worth finding out whether the couple still has topics for conversation or whether everything revolves around everyday problems and unfulfilled promises. People move forward as if by inertia and at first do not notice changes. When their attention stops on such a question, it is usually too late. If within six months the relationship has not come out of the crisis, then most likely the relationship has come to an end.
- It is advisable to understand whether he is trying close person to make the life of another easier, whether his soul is rooting for him, whether he strives to be aware of all his affairs and plans. If, apart from sex and promises, nothing else holds a couple together, then it is unlikely that anything can lead them out of the impasse. Relationships become especially difficult if only one person loves. He values marriage, tries to save it, while the other simply ignores all attempts.
- It is very important how often quarrels arise in a couple. One should not think that such clarifications are a uniquely destructive phenomenon. If people conflict, it means that they are not indifferent to each other and are trying to resolve issues that are vital to them. As soon as the number of scandals drops sharply, this signal becomes alarming. Consideration should also be given to how long the disputes last and how reconciliation occurs. Are people driven by pity, love or excessive gullibility? In any case, if the passion has not yet dried up, the couple has a future.
What to do if the relationship is at an impasse
An acute question arises: to preserve difficult relationships or tear them apart.
The transition of feelings to a calm haven should not be mistaken for cooling. It is especially difficult for couples who are in love to survive such changes. for a long time there was real passion. In this case, it can be difficult to get used to the quiet flow of life. Partners begin to worry whether someone else has appeared and whether their feelings together have cooled. It is very important to remind your spouse more often of how important he is, how much he is needed, and that life apart is no longer possible.
If there was no love from the beginning, you should not try to maintain a relationship that does not bring joy. In this case, a dead end is just an opportunity to part with a partner who has not become truly close and find yourself a person who will truly be sincerely attached. You shouldn’t think that marriage has already become a habit, it’s convenient and you don’t want to look for someone else. Things won't get better over time. Most likely, the spouse experiencing the same feelings will be the first to find a replacement, and then the situation will become many times more complicated.
Thus, if the relationship has reached a dead end, the situation is difficult, but not hopeless. It is possible that there was simply a new round of development to which people simply had not yet had time to adapt. Instead of crazy love, there was intimacy, affection and friendship. In fact, strong feelings They didn’t disappear anywhere, they just took a different form.
It is advisable to understand this new way existence and reassure each other that separation does not threaten either in the near or distant future. If people truly love and want to stay together, then they can survive any crisis.
But a dead end is still something more, and it is not always possible to escape from it without losses. It is necessary to develop a new strategy for developing relationships, get used to a routine, or, if all else fails, break up. It is impossible to pretend that cooling and satiety, which replaced passion, is what people have been striving for from the very beginning.
Therefore, the sooner they find new goals, the better their relationship will develop in the future. A good way to overcome the impasse can be a new task: to preserve love forever and walk the path of life together until the very end.
When you feel that the relationship has reached an impasse, you should prepare yourself in advance for two possible outcomes. The first - unfavorable - consists of eliminating such relationships. Just don’t despair in advance, often an “unfavorable” outcome turns out to be the best way for both partners only because they had the courage to put an end to it.
The next option for developing the problem of a relationship that has reached a dead end can be called a long and tedious road on the path to improving relationships by improving yourself and your partner.
Before thinking about what to do next, you need to understand what else can be expected from the relationship, what history requires - a final period or a comma.
The relationship has reached a dead end and there is no point in rehabilitating it if incessant quarrels, disputes and discord are accompanied by a feeling of irritation towards the partner, and after resolving the conflict, the long-awaited relief does not come, there is no desire to fall into the arms of a loved one and be close to him at rest. Such relationships are most likely completely doomed to failure and after them you should put an end to it in order to have time to preserve those good and bright memories that were once characteristic of these relationships.
A dead end can be final and irrevocable, or it can, figuratively speaking, have the shape of a spiral. With the spiral model, relationships reach a dead end with enviable frequency, which is replaced by a complacent atmosphere and an atmosphere of complete mutual understanding between partners.
It is typical for such relationships that partners try to shout to each other because the opinions and actions of their significant other are not indifferent to them. In such relationships, a deep feeling of love can suddenly give way to destructive hatred. But at the same time, the partners feel bad without each other and they are ready to forgive past grievances, which, however, does not prevent them from stepping on the same rake again.
Such relationships that have reached a dead end must be tried to be rehabilitated at several stages.
Stage 1. Understand if you need them
Observe your feelings during the reconciliation stage. If you enjoy the kisses, touches and actions of your other half, then all is not lost and there is something to fight for.
Stage 2. Try to control your own emotions
It's really difficult, but someone has to be smarter. Try to choose your words more carefully before countering your next truth to your partner. Try to hear your partner's point of view during arguments and show wisdom.
Step 3: Play a game where you switch roles
To feel yourself in your partner’s place and the burden of his burden, it is enough to set aside just one day off. At the end of the game, it will be easier for you and your partner to understand the claims being made.
Step 4: Talk about your feelings
If you think that your partner is not attentive, you should not call him names, just say what conclusion you have drawn. Any reproach you throw at your partner is probably associated with resentment or unjustified expectations - be frank and don’t expect your partner to figure everything out for you.
Stage 5. The relationship has reached a dead end - what to do
Even if your attempts to improve everything do not bear fruit, perceive them as new experience, which may be invaluable in the future.
Unfortunately, all five stages that promise to build relationships that have reached a dead end in a new vector do not provide any guarantees. But with their help you can become closer to your soulmate. After all, you tried and fought to continue a warm and healthy relationship, which means you contributed to the preservation of the family.
Don't despair if life literally hints to you that you should move on to the next stage, and remember, often a point is not only the end, but also the beginning of something new.
Relationships have reached a dead end: video
How to understand that a relationship has exhausted itself? A dead end in a relationship is bold point or just a comma?
Relationships are a long road. And the road is rarely smooth throughout the entire journey. And if this article didn’t end up on your computer screen by accident, it means you probably stumbled over one of the potholes along the way. It is at this moment that the question clearly forms: “Rise to your feet and move on, or turn around?” The choice is yours. However, this choice is very important, because decision will affect not only your life, but also the life of a loved one.
How can you tell if a relationship has reached a dead end or if it’s just a temporary cooling? Is it worth continuing them or would it be more rational to end it? The questions below will help you figure it out. Ask them to yourself, formulate honest answers, and the picture of your future together will become clearer.
Is the relationship at an impasse or is not all lost yet?
Be honest with yourself when answering the questions below. This is the only way you can really understand what to do if the relationship has reached a dead end - break it off or revive it? The article will help you decide whether you should continue dating your “soulmate” and whether you should write this phrase in quotation marks. So, how do you know when a relationship has run its course? Ask yourself questions:
Do your relationships excite you and make you happy?
If not, then “it’s time to get off the dead horse.” The analogy is harsh, but true. There is no joy in meeting - then why meet at all? In the case when a guy and a girl give each other only negativity, recall grievances, limit each other, it is worth thinking about the advisability of such communication. And drawing conclusions is a dead end in a relationship; it’s time to play the final chord. Most likely, you will start looking for excuses that “just recently everything was fine”! Keyword"was". Look at the real situation.
Are you satisfied with the person after a while?
Often we see our partner in the first moments of spending time together through pink glasses falling in love. When this passes, the true nature of a person with all his shortcomings and character flaws is revealed. So remember: your love is unlikely to change your partner, no matter how much you might like it. If a mature adult person has some negative qualities, in 99 percent of cases this is forever. Do you need to be around a person whose behavior contradicts your own views on life?
Why are you together now?
This question requires sincerity and honesty towards yourself. Perhaps you are simply afraid, and only this aspect is holding you back from an inevitable breakup? If this is really the case, it’s definitely worth breaking off the relationship. Suffer, endure, take care of yourself. After all, as they say, “it’s better to be alone than with just anyone.” If you really care about a person, don’t go to extremes trying to prove your independence.
Are you sexually compatible?
It is not customary to talk about this loudly, but we will talk. People's tastes in bed often differ significantly. For some, several times a week is a lot, for others it’s not enough. And that's okay. But in harmonious relationships must be respected important condition, namely: a mutual desire to give a person pleasure and comfort. When it is mutual, each partner tries to satisfy the loved one and this goal is realized. If there is no such reciprocity, then there is no use in communication. Of course, you can give up your principles and suffer “in the name of love,” but answer yourself, how long will you last?
Are you developing mutually?
Usually, strong relationships have one important property: people do not look at each other, but in the same direction. If you are trying to develop and become better, but your partner is indifferent to such ideas and - do you need this partner? It's worth thinking about. And it is advisable to do this as soon as possible. You don’t have to have absolutely similar goals and views on the world, but is there a situation where you are striving forward, but something is firmly anchoring you in place?
Are you still interested in being together?
It happens that people “burn out” and spending time with each other ceases to captivate them. You shouldn't be afraid of this. Yes, if you have become boring to each other, and things have been going on like this for a long time, this is a sign that the relationship is coming to an end. After all, where one person oppresses another with his presence, there is no place for harmony. And this is a completely rational law.
Is your partner interested in events in your life?
Often, for one person, the life of the other person becomes indifferent. If your boyfriend or girlfriend does not have a sincere interest in your affairs, then this person is unlikely to need you. How often do you share with each other events that happened during the day? Has it ever happened that information that was suddenly valuable to you was accidentally “forgotten”? Or did you not consider it necessary to talk about an important change in your life? Any impasse in a relationship begins to form when mutual interest in the little things that make up life fades away.
Do you worry about quarrels in relationships and the reconciliation that follows the scandal?
If such events ceased to evoke emotions, then the need for the partner itself decreased. When quarrels begin to be taken for granted, and the desire to be the first to go to peace awakens less and less, what does this mean? The fact that you can be “in the same harness” with a person simply out of habit. What follows from this? It is worth reconsidering your habits and attachments, listening to yourself and your desires, asking yourself again the third question from this list. Perhaps it's time to call it a day.
Bottom line: Has the relationship run its course?
Breaking up is hard. But it’s harder to live in shackles when the resulting impasse in the relationship has become obvious. Take a fresh look at your feelings - do they exist at all? If they exist and they are mutual, the couple will overcome any difficulties. However, if you see that the relationship has reached a dead end and has been weighing you down for months, then you should definitely think about the need to continue such a relationship.
What to do if the relationship has reached a dead end and the answers to the 8 above questions confirm this? Realize the main thing: as long as you torment yourself and your partner with such “relationships,” you will make things worse for everyone. It's not easy, but sometimes it's better to thank the person for the experience and move on without him.
Dead end in relationships. How to return love?
Hello, dear readers of the blog site! Today I will touch on the topic of love in marriage between two close people who, for some reason, began to move away from each other and do not understand what to do next. How to keep love and family if your relationship has reached a dead end?
Many people come to our blog who are interested in one very important question: how to maintain love in a marriage if both spouses stopped absolutely understand each other?
After romantic relationships Every couple goes through a period of disappointment and resentment. Why does this happen and what specifically can be done to bring back this wonderful relationship?
Don’t believe those who try to explain to you that the easiest way is to break up and start looking for a new partner. This is not entirely correct. First, you may have children who understand everything and desperately want mom and dad to stay together forever.
How to find out psychological and emotional condition your child, read this article.
Secondly, if you made a mistake and did not learn how to improve relationships, there is no guarantee that the same thing will not happen again with a new partner. And then what? How long until you look for new meetings, until you get old? But at the same time, it’s easy to stay stuck and then bitterly regret that you took the easiest path.
Couples who have lived together for several years and no longer understand each other may behave in the same way. They often swear, and this happens for any reason, they get irritated or simply remain silent.
Why are they silent? But they have nothing to talk about, there are no more common topics. Each spouse lives his own own life. It’s just that husband and wife are united by their children, and, of course, a common living space.
This is how two people live, who were once so close and saw a great future ahead of them and believed in love until their death.
But why did this happen? After all, there must be some reason!
After listening to me, my psychologist made an appointment with his own!
A woman begins to cry at night, meets her friends in a cafe after work and complains to them about her unfortunate fate.
The husband completely withdraws into himself, also begins to live his own life and does not even try to do anything, because his wife has become bitter and is talking about divorce, because she does not see the point of living without love.
In this relationship, you cannot blame only the husband or only the wife. There are two people in the family, so both are to blame.
If a man and woman have not learned to understand each other, their relationship is doomed to failure. But how can you understand someone if you don't talk to them? This means we need to learn to talk to each other. Read how to do this.
The wife often accuses her husband of being insensitive, not wanting to listen to her, and simply brushing off her problems. But at the same time, she does not take into account the fact that she and her husband have been sleeping in different rooms for a long time.
The husband's behavior may depend on the amount of sex that occurs between spouses. But this could be the problem.
One of the parties family life can become very alone important detail, which the man didn’t even suspect before. Namely: the wife denies her husband sexual relations, that is, from some point intimate life between spouses simply disappears.
Let's look at how a man and a woman build their relationship. Before marriage, this is the brightest and most carefree period, when everyone is happy, there are no problems, and only bright prospects lie ahead.
The hassle and financial expenses associated with the wedding pass, everyday life begins, and soon a new family member will probably appear.
After the birth of a child, the behavior of many women changes. The wife is now completely absorbed in the child and is ready to devote herself only to him, while forgetting about her husband. The man does not notice this at first and silently watches as his wife turns from a woman into a mother. What happens next?
If a man and a woman have learned to talk to each other, they will definitely begin to figure out what is happening in their relationship. And they will find the reason for the cooling of past feelings and begin to turn the family boat towards love.
If the husband and wife follow the principle of hushing up the problem, this problem will not go away, it will only begin to get worse and will lead to a real collapse in the relationship.
Why do husband and wife sleep in different rooms? The child may again be the cause. The fact is that some women try to take their baby into their bed in order to always remain close to him. At first, the child interferes with both spouses’ sleep, which is quite understandable, because he is small and often cries at night.
But after a while the cuckoo effect begins to work. What it is?
In nature, everything is thought out to the smallest detail. When a cuckoo throws its egg into the nest of small birds, they do not notice it and hatch such an egg along with their own eggs. But after hatching from the egg, the cuckoo gets to work: he pushes his little neighbors out of the nest one by one, after which all attention foster parents only he gets it.
The same thing happens to a man if the baby sleeps with his parents. All the woman’s attention is now focused on her child, so the man becomes superfluous in bed and moves to another room.
It is clear that the mother does not want anyone to disturb her baby, even if it is the father, she asks her husband to move to the sofa. The conversation is that this is temporary, then everything will change. But there is nothing in the world more permanent than temporary. Of course, you know about this.
And in the end sex life spouses is terminated.
They begin to be connected only by children and common living space. After some time two sometime loving person become complete strangers and begin to think about divorce. A real impasse in a relationship, from which there seems to be no way out.
But is this really so?
A way out can always be found, but you will have to make an effort to get out of this dead end and return to the roots of love again.
What to do? Remember, swearing and screaming will never help bring back the wonderful feeling that you had several years ago. Endless showdowns in a raised voice will not help either.
Where should you start if you decide to return love and are both ready for change?
The very first thing to do is to determine that your relationship has really reached a dead end and it’s time to start changing it for the better.
That is, you both must express all your complaints about each other and do it in a calm atmosphere. Naturally, there should be no children, parents or strangers nearby. Unless, of course, you turned to a family psychologist. Then you will be offered certain tasks, because such psychologists are good specialists.
If for some reason you do not want to visit family psychologist, try to complete fairly simple tasks yourself and see what happens and what changes occur in your relationship.
Both women and men have problems in any family. If these problems are not expressed, then they simply cannot be detected. Then they begin to grow like a snowball, gradually increasing every year.
For example, a woman may remember how her husband offended her twenty years ago, did not apologize, and she remained silent. And this resentment grows in her and prevents her from establishing relationships with her husband in the present. In the family, intimate relationships fade away. And this has a very bad effect on a man. And a vicious circle occurs, from which there is simply no way out if you simply remain silent and snap in response to your spouse’s words and claims.
So, the first thing to do if your relationship has stopped developing and is going downhill is to identify the problems that are hindering both of you. A heart-to-heart conversation never hurts. You can start today.
Moreover, if a man can briefly outline his complaints, then a woman will need more time to realize her problems. Besides, any woman says a lot more than a man, I talked about this in detail in another article.
Once you can take out all the problems, you will immediately feel better. As they say, if you touch the bottom, you can only move up.
Where should we go? But here I can only advise you one thing: you need to find common interests and start growing and developing together. If you and your husband or wife are in Lately there was absolutely nothing to talk about, such a common cause will bring something new into your life.
In any house, a woman always has her own separate room. And there she has fun with all her might: if she wants, she cooks borscht, if she wants, she washes the dishes!
You will start to have common topics, interesting for everyone, you will gradually be able to relearn how to communicate and share news with each other.
What kind of common cause can you think of? Children and caring for them don't count because you've already been doing that all these years.
No common interests, which means there are no topics for conversation.
We need to come up with something completely new that simply could not exist before. Preferably something unusual, even incredible.
For example, start going to the gym together. Not separately, but together, and even help each other in training.
You can come up with an interesting and unusual hobby. I know a couple who decided to go scuba diving together. Although until some point they both had no idea what it was.
Both had to study literature to find out in advance what they were getting into. Then go to courses to get a certificate, save money for equipment. They studied the underwater world, watched films about various expeditions inside caves under water. And much more.
At first they swam together in the Black Sea, took vacations at the same time and spent a lot of time together. Although for many years we always vacationed separately from each other.
And then their relationship grew to a new level, because they again had to overcome difficulties and help each other.
Today they are diving underwater in the Red Sea and are very happy that such an unusual hobby saved their marriage.
You don’t have to do scuba diving at all, just invent and fantasize. Men are more passive, so it is the wife who will have to think with her head first. But it's worth it because your relationship is much more important than a little effort.
Discuss together what you would like to do and start moving in that direction. If the movement occurs in small steps, this is already good. Don't forget to talk to each other and solve all your problems together from this day forward.
For example, my husband and I are running this blog.
You can believe me that this activity is very interesting. We learned many things that we had no idea about before. Eduard writes good articles about health, and I work as a webmaster and web designer.
Maybe you should do something like this too?
We will have lessons on these topics coming out soon, pay attention to them.
Bring back love It is possible, but this requires some effort. And these efforts should not only be on the part of one of the spouses, but the second one must also try very hard. After all, marriage is always two loving people, but not just one, right?
U true love There are seven stages of development, have you already read the article about this?
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Many couples, having lived or dated for several years, gradually realize that their feelings have cooled down, there are no topics for conversation, tension is in the air, and it is becoming increasingly difficult to agree on a solution to any problem. Psychologists call this period a crisis. What to do if the relationship has reached a dead end and people are not ready to leave? various reasons? There is only one answer - to look for ways out of the current situation, try to establish contact with your chosen one in all available ways.
Walking through labyrinths
Over the years, grievances accumulate in any couple. Someone could not restrain himself and said a lot of unnecessary things, while another left for several days in retaliation, thereby arousing suspicions of infidelity. Some people don’t like their significant other’s friends, but all requests to be at home more often are ignored. There are many reasons leading to maximum intensity of passions, and they are individual for each couple.
Gradually, discontent accumulates, collecting drop by drop, grain by grain, and a breakthrough of negativity occurs. It is difficult to stop this process, and the consequences are dire - people slowly kill love, and then separate.
The main task is to find the starting point when the first germs of negative emotions appeared in relationships. This is akin to walking through a labyrinth, since you will not only have to rummage through your own memory and consciousness, but also dissect the feelings of your partner. And oh, how difficult it is to do this with men! They do not like to engage in soul-searching, considering this fact a weakness. Therefore, a woman may have to figure it out for two, using cunning ways to get to the real reason broken relationships.
Finding a compromise
The next step is to find mutually beneficial solutions for both parties. If you can’t come to a common denominator, then you need to find a third option. He may not suit the two, but at the same time he will not divide the couple into two warring armies, where one won and the other lost. To make it clear, we can consider several examples from life.
Example No. 1
A guy and a girl are conflicting about the topic of leisure time on Saturdays. He wants to spend these days with friends at the bar; she requires attention, care and evenings together. Which solution is considered mutually beneficial here?
You can alternate each other’s desires. One weekend the guy relaxes as he likes, and the next weekend he entertains his beloved. On the day when the partner is busy with friends, the girl, for example, plans a meeting with her friends in some establishment.
Example No. 2
Husband and wife are fighting over family budget. The husband believes that we need to be more economical and save extra money for new car. His other half has his own point of view and is sure that it is more correct to live without infringing on himself with new clothes, travel and entertainment on weekends. You can understand and support both in this couple, but there must be one solution. What to do in this situation?
A husband needs to understand his wife in her desire to be beautiful, fashionable and not tormented by continuous everyday life. This has a plus for maintaining passion in a relationship - than more woman If she is satisfied with herself, the harder she will try for her loved one in all areas of family life. So somewhere the head of a social unit must cut some slack for his significant other. But it is better for the wife to realize that money does not come from nowhere - the husband earns it through his own labor. The tenth skirt may remain in the store, but female beauty this will not harm you in any way.
Of course, the question is what to do if family relationships reached a dead end, requires a separate discussion, since the level of responsibility and depth of mutual understanding in the family move into another framework. Here there is concern for the children, and property obligations, and the influence of relatives - everything leaves its mark.
Example No. 3
You can take as a basis a situation in which one of the relatives adds fuel to the family fire. Mostly these are mothers-in-law and mothers-in-law, who consider their sons and daughters simply gifts of fate. Well, the husband’s mother doesn’t like how the daughter-in-law takes care of her grandson, and the husband is either indifferent to what is happening, or takes the position of his parent - she is older, wiser. What to do?
There is no need to rush to get a divorce and leave the child without a father. There is always a way out:
- Exclude Cohabitation even at the expense of the budget.
- If the first is impossible, then you can more often give the reins of power to your grandmother’s hands. As practice shows, mothers-in-law who love to give advice quickly calm down when they are given every opportunity to implement it themselves.
- Don’t quarrel with your husband, but quietly encourage him to move.
- Wage a tricky fight: notice all the shortcomings of the restless relative and, if possible, carefully put them on display.
- Having your own savings and trying to earn extra money even while on maternity leave will help maintain the woman’s status in front of her husband, and his mother or anyone else will be forced to treat her with respect.
Of course, this is just objective advice. The subjectively correct decision is made by the participants in emerging conflicts, which, if not resolved in a timely manner, lead to the emergence of an exclusion zone between lovers.
Everything good new is long forgotten old
Once upon a time, a man and a woman met and lit a flame of love in each other, and then a fire broke out, and now a new couple has appeared. How many pleasant moments were experienced together: the first kiss, the first seduction, dates, holidays, and the birth of children! Everyone has a lot of shared memories that warm the soul.
We must put aside all negativity and try not to remember the insult. The day must start with nice pictures from the past about how it all began. Many people forget the good, concentrating only on the negative - this is completely wrong. It is important to tune in to the positive yourself and lead your partner to this.
Places of old dates, a cafe on the river bank, a disco on the outskirts of the city, daisies picked from a flower bed, sex in the summer rain on the beach - how many things can you think of to restore positive emotions inside the couple!
If this does not help, then a sober look at the future without your soul mate can bring both of them to their senses. It’s worth imagining your life in all its colors, but alone. New Year, Valentine's Day, birthdays will be completely different. Your loved one will not come with a bouquet of violets, and your sweetheart will not make her signature cake on the weekend. Life will change dramatically. Wouldn't it hurt to see someone who was once close and loved one in someone else's arms and know that he feels good and comfortable there, in a new relationship?
In order not to go through all the circles of hell and not experience ordeal, it is better not to drive yourself into a dead end. If this happens, then we must try not to prove the truth with all our might. Calmness, prudence, the ability to analyze and separate the wheat from the chaff will help you get out of the crisis with minimal losses.