Cheating in a relationship
What to do if your wife cheated and got pregnant
A man's life is filled with various problems and difficulties. Some can be solved quite easily, others require time and resources. But there is only one thing that can unsettle even the most courageous and strong - the betrayal of his beloved wife.
The situation with female infidelity for a man it is a whole rebus. At first, the man begins to feel misunderstanding on the part of his wife. Then he begins to suspect her of infidelity. If this fact is confirmed, he begins to look for excuses for his wife. He begins to delve into himself and the situation comes to a complete dead end.
What do men do after their wife cheats?
Oddly enough, men quite often forgive their wives, but when they cheat, they blame themselves for their inattention to their wives. They believe that their wives were forced to cheat because they found themselves hostage to the situation. And this is all because of husbands who are busy at work, cold in relationships and boring in bed. But this is complete nonsense, since any adequate woman will first make every effort to save her relationship, and if nothing works out, she will file for divorce. And there is no need to look for any excuses for betraying your wife.
But there are situations where wives show complete disrespect and disregard for their husband. This is a situation where she has unprotected sex with another man and gets pregnant from him.
If the wife became pregnant by someone else
It is impossible to imagine the state you are in now if this article describes your situation. You have some tough decisions to make, and if possible, don't listen to your wife. Remember that if a wife became pregnant from another man, then she was not particularly worried about her health. Thus, while remaining loyal to your family, you could catch any venereal disease. Your wife didn’t care at all about herself or you. Whether it is wise to stay with such a woman is up to you to decide. Remember: men make mistakes too, but for objective reasons the consequences are not so serious.
Some men forgive their wives, force them to have an abortion, and then are afraid to have children of their own for the rest of their lives. They begin to suspect their wife of another betrayal and consider the children strangers. This situation has an extremely serious impact on a man’s health and psychological state children.
But most often the truth emerges when it is too late to have an abortion. Few men find a way to forgive their wives and accept the child as if it were their own. Men make these decisions when they love their wives madly and believe in the power of forgiveness. But not every woman deserves mercy, not everyone can improve and change. But in any case, the decision is yours: accept this act of your wife, or is this a reason to end your relationship and find another woman.
You should take into account that when the child appears, you will be tormented by the thought that you are not his father. Every day you will see evidence of your wife's betrayal, every day you will remember this situation. This situation can put an end to your health and mental balance. But there is still time to prepare and think things through. This doesn't make the decision any easier, but you are not alone, many men have gone through this. Remember: you always have a rational decision, do not fly into a rage and do something that you will regret later.
How to treat a cheating wife
As for your wife, she is a real selfish person. If she does not leave you, it means that she expects that, despite betrayal and betrayal, you will support both her and her child. Either this is a complete disrespect for you, or it is her lack of intelligence. If this is your first child, and nothing else binds you, then you must be absolutely out of your mind to stay with this woman, no matter how much you love her.
There is also no need to confuse situations. Currently, there are quite a lot of marriages where the man or woman already has a child. In this case, you accept this fact and support your wife and child. The difference is that there is no betrayal on the part of the woman.
Men are most burdened not by the material component, but by the spiritual one. Therefore, your decision after your wife’s betrayal should be pragmatic and cold. And more often than not it will be a divorce rather than a happy family life.
In conclusion, I would like to say that, according to statistics, a fairly large number of men raise other people’s children. There is nothing wrong with accepting someone else's child and treating him as if he were your own. In this case, we are more concerned about the issue of respect and understanding. Can you trust your wife after this? The answer to this question will provide the best solution.
Greetings to all, my readers and readers. I already know that our husbands read our girls’ “stories” with one eye, so I decided that it’s time to pay attention to them. Girls, you can do your homework, men, please come to the screen. Especially those who are expecting the birth of offspring in the near future.
I’m sure there are a lot of them, and I also know what it’s like for you sometimes with us, capricious princesses. I want to help a little, explain to you completely incomprehensible changes in the behavior and mood of your wife, and justify her in some way. In a word, today I bring to your attention a memo entitled: “Advice to the husband of a pregnant wife.”
Capricious with a belly
“I love you and I hate you, go somewhere... closer,” this is something a pregnant woman often thinks. Contradictions are generally characteristic of the mysterious female nature, but here some appear doubly or triple. I completely agree, dear men, which is sometimes very difficult with us, sometimes unbearable, and yet try to be softer and more forgiving with your other halves.
Especially when they are no longer halves, but 2/3, that is, the third, most important member of your family, a tiny son or sweet daughter, has settled inside your wife’s tummy. I am sure that this is a welcome baby, even if not planned. You will soon become parents, and you need to become even more united and friendly, and not quarrel over trifles. Accept that in the next 9 months you will have to please your wife who is changing before your eyes.
The process of becoming a mother is not easy: strong hormonal storms occur inside a fragile-looking woman, the body changes, preparing to bear a baby, taste preferences are generally shocking with their incompatibility. “Darling, give me that candy over there and some salt! And also tomatoes with sour cream. It tastes better this way,” familiar phrases. So here's my advice: go and get it, otherwise the next whim will be more serious.
Don't be afraid to spoil your wife. After giving birth, she will have so much trouble that there will be no time for pampering. You cannot be in her “skin”, feel all the delights and vicissitudes of the “pregnant” state. And believe me, it doesn’t always bring only positive emotions. You also took part in the conception, so take what part you can in the gestation, even if in absentia.
Under the “heel” for 9 months
- Take more care of your loved one. Take on some of your feminine responsibilities. Sometimes wash the dishes, vacuum the apartment, iron the laundry. Since we have equality in the world, it is not at all a shame for a man to be a housewife. This will make it much easier for my wife. homework. Send her for a manicure or let her lie on the couch with her favorite book and a plate of fruit.
- Follow all "orders". Often pregnant women themselves are not happy about their oddities; hormones are raging and do not give her peace, and she, in turn, does not give you peace. If you tell her about the moments of her behavior after giving birth, she may be very surprised and will not even remember half of them. Therefore, my advice is that if your wife gets capricious in the middle of the night and demands snowdrops in February (read: fresh strawberries with cream, pineapples, cherries), then fly like Superman and get her those snowdrops. She suddenly began to not tolerate the smell of your perfume, go with her to the store and pick up a different perfume. Your beard is itchy - shave. In general, please, no matter the cost.
Forgive "marital debt"
- Don't insist on intimacy. You'll have to hold off for a while. The concept of “marital debt” is abolished for an indefinite period. Your woman should now have only one thing: do everything she wants and not do what she doesn’t want. . Changes in the body of a pregnant woman lead to the fact that sometimes sexual desire disappears or painful sensations appear during intercourse. Don't get angry, just wait a little. Pregnant women's attraction comes in waves. Soon she herself will come to your bed in a seductive shirt and will seduce you. Oh, these unpredictable pregnant women!
Before going to bed, massage your wife's feet. Now they have a very heavy load on them, they are very tired and swelling. Buy mint oil at the pharmacy; it will pleasantly cool you and relieve fatigue, helping you fall asleep faster.
- Trust and no outside advice. Don't let anyone into your little cozy world, not even your mother, who is undoubtedly wise woman, gave birth to and raised you and your brothers and sisters. She has her own view of things, and if she thinks, for example, that modern diapers are harmful and she should buy gauze and make diapers “the old fashioned way,” and wash diapers not in a machine, but with soap crumbs by hand, listen, but don’t tell your wife . She may be angry or upset by such advice. There should be no outside authorities in your family; decide everything among yourselves, trust each other.
Positive and... flowers
- Filter out the negative. Don't let the pregnant woman watch the news. Every now and then they talk about wars, murders, train and plane crashes. Your wife doesn’t need such emotions and impressions right now. Play her a good movie or even a cartoon with children or animals. If you are invited to your anniversary best friend, and his wife doesn’t like him, sacrifice the party, stay at home together.
- Nourish your love. The wedding is long over, and so is the period of courtship after the first acquaintance, but this does not mean that a woman has ceased to need small compliments. pleasant surprises, bouquets, hugs. Feelings need to be constantly nourished, especially since very soon you will have the fruit of your love - your wonderful baby. Support your wife throughout your pregnancy, don’t swear at her and don’t hold grudges or grudges, because she trusted you, married you and will soon thank you in the most a precious gift- a white envelope tied with a pink or blue ribbon. Or maybe two at once?
That's it, I have no right to detain you any longer. Go to your little pot-bellied whim, hug her, kiss her nose, and not a word about our conversation. This is just between us! Let your wife think that you yourself decided to become softer and kinder to her, and that I didn’t tell you.
Many people think that the most difficult thing for a woman during pregnancy is: she experiences a lot of discomfort, despite all the happiness that the feeling of pregnancy gives... No matter how it is! The most difficult thing is for the beloved man of a pregnant woman!
Folk wisdom states that how much good husband is checked only when his wife is pregnant. In general, the topic “pregnant woman and husband” deserves special attention not only in fiction or banal anecdotes, but is also a serious basis for research by psychologists.
Many women, as soon as they learn about their pregnancy, immediately become more selfish, and their beloved man fades into the background among their priorities.
The only mystery that remains is what a pregnant husband should do, how to communicate with his wife, how to please everyone, “I want”, “I’m trying for the baby”, “it’s urgent”... And if you take into account the unstable emotional state of a woman, then you finally feel sorry for the man!
If marriage is based on love and deep feelings, if pregnancy is a conscious and planned step, then the husband’s attitude towards his pregnant wife will be philosophical. The man will perfectly understand all the sources of her behavior, because he played not the least minor role in her situation.
There is no need to hide the fact that when a woman becomes capricious, irritable, touchy, tearful, her mood changes and all this is too much, where the “s” is clearly capitalized - pregnancy has come into her life. And the husband must do absolutely everything just to support his beloved.
For the next 40 weeks of development of the unborn baby, one can only wish the man good luck and patience! You can expect absolutely everything from a woman:
WANT! This is what a man hears most often from his pregnant wife. A woman who carries the child of her loved one under her heart begins to believe that she has every right demand everything from a man. Strawberry? In winter? At 3 am? Why not…
If suddenly I WANT has not corrected my husband’s behavior in any way, during pregnancy women have another catchphrase: “THAT THE BABY WANTED! " And here no man’s argument will work. If he wanted a baby, let him have it. That's why loving man almost in pajamas, he will go looking for “winter strawberries” for his beloved, like the girl in the fairy tale about 12 months went for snowdrops.
Oh-oh, it hurts, it hurts! If a woman doesn’t like something, then she immediately “covers up” by saying that she is pregnant, and the husband must worry that with his stupid behavior he has hurt the mother of his unborn child.
In fact, if a woman complains that some kind of stress has caused her pain in the abdominal area, this really happens. It’s just that sometimes women like how a man’s behavior changes, how he becomes caring and loving, and she happily repeats her “oh-oh!”
What should a man do? Obviously, the husband of a pregnant woman does not have the slightest idea what to do with his pregnant wife... Especially if this is the first and desired pregnancy. And, as mentioned above, in order to maintain harmony in the relationship, the husband simply must be patient and remind himself and his wife every day of their love and that soon they will see with their own eyes the fruit of their passion.
However, it is advisable for a man to: Turn a blind eye to a woman’s nervous states and under no circumstances respond to a scream with a scream. The well-being of their baby will depend on how the husband treats his pregnant wife, since the growing child feels everything through the mother’s feelings. Show care and tenderness. Women during this period of their lives become especially sensual: this is how pregnancy affects them, and at this time the husband must “warm up” her positive emotions. Put yourself in the position of your beloved.
Of course, this is quite difficult, and there are many explanations for this, both at the biological and psychological levels. Therefore, a man must clearly reconsider his attitude towards his wife during pregnancy. Whatever she asks is more than likely a consequence of her interesting situation. This must be understood and respected. It is simply a man’s duty to please his wife. A woman in her position is simply obliged to experience the love of her man, his support.
Representatives of the fair sex always need words of approval, gifts and affection. During the wife's pregnancy, the husband's behavior should first of all radiate understanding. In general, the more he loves his woman, the less it’s worth talking about, since this is all understood “by default.” All these things, in principle, are more than obvious...
Even if you are offended by your wife, you should not enter into conflict with her, and even more so, you should never leave her alone with your thoughts at night. It is worth forgetting about sleep separately in a state of resentment. A husband and a pregnant woman simply must be together. What should a pregnant woman and her husband do? During the difficult period of pregnancy, women are controlled by an unstable emotional state. In general, women absolutely always do something under the influence of hormones, but during a period of an interesting situation, her actions and emotional state sometimes go beyond the norm and limit.
And, despite her difficult situation, she must remember that in this difficult time she must do everything possible to maintain her relationship with her husband: It is useless to say that a pregnant woman should be grateful for what her husband does.
Often all actions are taken for granted and this is wrong!
Therefore, it is also better for a woman to put herself in a man’s place and think about how he feels and how he experiences such behavior from his own wife. Ideal option One way to help maintain a pregnant wife’s relationship with her husband is to go to a psychologist. A specialist will help you react correctly to stress and provide recommendations on how to survive such a difficult period and maintain relationships.
How should a man behave when his beloved woman is pregnant? Advice is given by Elena Zenevich, a psychologist at the Republican Scientific and Practical Center “Mother and Child”.
Don't faint!
The first reaction to the news of future fatherhood among men is not joy, as is commonly believed, but almost shock. Some people think: “That’s it, freedom and youth are over, now there will only be worries and nerves!” Others are concerned: “I still don’t earn enough, how can I raise a child, what should I do with him?”
And even if a man wants a child and says to his beloved “How happy I am!”, he is still afraid of the new and incomprehensible, of what will invade the family and become a test of its strength. A man does not have a natural mechanism within him that allows him to treat pregnancy as something completely natural.
So the first piece of advice in this situation is don’t worry: nothing bad is happening, you’ll just become a dad soon! And this will not require any effort from you: neither 9 months of gestation, nor toxicosis, nor childbirth. The best thing you can do during the pregnancy of the expectant mother of your child is to pull yourself together and help her.
Calm, just calm!
Be prepared for the fact that a pregnant woman's behavior will change greatly. Remember that global changes and hormonal storms are occurring inside her. A pregnant woman’s mood can change every fifteen minutes, and even if this annoys you, hide your emotions, take pity on your loved one, don’t reproach her for wanting “something I don’t know what” and suddenly starting to cry because it seemed to her that you don't love her.
To make it easier for you to understand your beloved, remember how you feel after a difficult working week, where they didn’t get enough sleep, were overworked, received scoldings from their superiors, and failed an important deal. Do you remember? Now imagine that a pregnant woman feels this way for 9 months.
Pregnancy is very, very hard work, so be sensitive to whoever is doing it.
Show interest
Having gotten used to the idea that a child will appear in the family, a man often stops there, thinking “Well, it will be, it will be, it won’t be soon!”, and continues to go about his business. This deeply offends a pregnant woman, because she is torn with the desire to tell the whole world and, above all, herself. to a loved one about what is happening to her.
And when she sees that you treat her new condition without due attention, she suffers and gets nervous, comes up with some terrible problems, to the point that you are completely indifferent to both her and the child. Such nerves can cause problems not only for the expectant mother herself, but also for the child. This includes hypoxia, neuralgia, and vasospasm of the placenta.
Move away from stereotypes about male restraint. Talk to her about your feelings and experiences, talk to the baby in your belly - it doesn’t matter that he’s only a couple of weeks old, but how it will cheer up your beloved!
Go to pregnancy classes together. Read at least one book that describes the pregnancy process - this will help you understand the condition of a pregnant woman and treat her with greater understanding.
Pregnancy is not a disease!
Another male extreme is that future daddies turn into mother hens, clucking over pregnant women, not allowing them to take a step. Protecting is, of course, good, but don’t overdo it. Pregnant women still want to go to the cinema, restaurants and museums as before, and if their health allows them, do not deprive them of these pleasures.
Don’t become a hysterical dad who wants to do everything “according to science” and constantly teaches a pregnant woman how to do everything correctly, how not to gain weight excess weight and how not to harm the child. Moral teaching has never helped anyone establish peace in the family, and, whatever one may say, a woman still knows better what she needs to do.
Show her that she is desired!
Pregnant women often worry about gaining weight and getting out of shape.
They feel like they are becoming unattractive. Tell and show that this is not so.
Intimate relationships during pregnancy are an individual matter; for some women the desire disappears, for others, on the contrary, it increases. But remember that scientific research has shown that an unborn baby is happy when its mother has an orgasm.
If necessary, consult your doctor. And don’t forget to tell your beloved how beautiful she is. Moreover, very often this is really the case, and pregnant women simply shine with some special inner beauty.
And never - never!!! - do not answer affirmatively to the question “Don’t you think I’m too fat?” Better take your loved one to a maternity store and buy her something beautiful. Her belly is very pretty and suits her very well. And you want to photograph it as often as possible!
By the way, if you want your loved one to really not gain weight beyond the norm, teach yourself to eat too healthy foods, keep less cookies and ice cream at home. How do you think a pregnant woman will feel if you eat prohibited salty and spicy foods in her presence? If you really want to, eat the delicacies at work, during your lunch break, and at home bravely eat rice porridge. It won't hurt you.
Specific help
Psychological support is very good, but pregnant women also need physical help.
You need to free her from business. This means that you will have to do the shopping and housekeeping yourself. Buy the necessary medications and accompany your loved one to the clinic. Help collect the “dowry” for the child. Don't promise to buy everything yourself when he's born - it's better not to leave everything until the last minute.
Make sure that you are given leave from work for the first time after the birth of your baby.
Set aside some money because there will be a lot of planned and unexpected expenses.
And, of course, remember that with the birth of a child, your responsibility will increase even more, and the young mother will need all your help and support.
Even a desired pregnancy is always stressful for spouses (albeit with a plus sign), because it leads to strong changes in family life. These changes begin with the woman, because from the first weeks of pregnancy she begins to feel differently. Innovations manifest themselves both physically and emotionally: some feel sick during pregnancy, others constantly want to sleep, and others note a strong appetite. Women become very impressionable, vulnerable, suspicious.
Men only see external changes: the body became rounded, a belly appeared. What happens in the body and in the soul of the expectant mother - they can only guess. Sometimes husbands are simply lost and don’t know how to approach their pregnant wife. To prevent the relationship between husband and wife from deteriorating during such an important period, some tips on communicating with your wife will help men.
Try to understand and figure out what is happening with your spouse
It’s best to start with theory: read encyclopedias and pregnancy magazines with your wife to understand what processes are occurring in your wife’s body. Since a man cannot bear and give birth to a child himself, having experienced the whole gamut of sensations, it is important for him to be at least theoretically savvy in these matters. This will help you maintain conversations with your spouse (and during pregnancy they are almost all about the same thing), and understand what she is talking about after the next visit to the doctor. Such participation is greatly appreciated by expectant mothers, and the pregnancy becomes as if shared.
Help your wife around the house
Pregnancy is a big burden on the body, however, the expectant mother’s responsibilities, neither at work nor at home, do not decrease. Even if your spouse does not complain about feeling unwell, have no doubt that very often it will be healthier and more pleasant for her to lie down and rest than to wash the dishes or do the cleaning, especially at the end of the term, when some household chores are simply physically difficult to do. Take on some of the household chores without waiting for requests or reproaches: you can go to the grocery store, vacuum, take out the trash.
Be patient with your wife's wishes and requests.
The likelihood of a situation arising from an anecdote, when a pregnant wife sent her husband on a winter night to buy strawberries, real life very low. But other requests and whims varying degrees Every expectant mother has absurdities. Changes are to blame hormonal levels. Your wife may begin to feel sick of your perfume, which she herself once gave her. Strange preferences may appear in food: from “classic” pickles to something exotic. At the level physical sensations There may also be changes: a woman may begin to be irritated by touching certain parts of the body. Treat this patiently and with understanding: remove what is not pleasant to your wife, and try to fulfill her requests.
By the way, requests may concern not only the elimination of irritating odors and the purchase of “sweets”. Pregnant women often need physical assistance: massage of the feet and lower back, help with putting on shoes (after all, big belly very uncomfortable to bend over). Such help from your husband is very touching and important: by helping, you make it clear that you understand your wife’s position and accept all the changes happening to her during this period.
Note to moms!
Hello girls) I didn’t think that the problem of stretch marks would affect me too, and I’ll also write about it))) But there’s nowhere to go, so I’m writing here: How did I get rid of stretch marks after childbirth? I will be very glad if my method helps you too...
In general, advice for a pregnant woman is simply fate that has been haunting her for all 9 months. Friends who gave birth, work colleagues, neighbors, relatives - everyone strives to give advice. No matter how much you, as a man, delve into the wisdom of pregnancy, you will not become an expert on this issue (unless you are a woman’s doctor, of course). But because you can advise your wife? What you read on the Internet or heard in your social circle? Believe me, your spouse is already provided with such advice. Instead of giving advice, figure out what point of view your wife holds on this or that issue (how to get rid of edema, how to give birth, how to feed) and simply support her in this opinion.
Protect your wife from negativity
Pregnant women are very sensitive, sentimental and suspicious. Any unpleasant word or even a hint of it can cause tears and strong feelings in the soul. Emotional condition future mother - important factor successful pregnancy, so it is better to protect your wife from any negativity (programs or news that feature cruelty, murder, etc.). It is especially important not to let information about the problems of pregnancy and childbirth enter the wife’s mind. Here it is important to find a balance between simply background information about some problems and outright “horror stories”. You can get background information in a book or encyclopedia for pregnant women, but it is better to block access to online forums where women talk colorfully about unsuccessful pregnancies or difficult childbirths.
It is worth protecting from negativity in communication. Some people were unpleasant to their spouse even before pregnancy, and with some people the relationship deteriorated already in the process. The mental state of the expectant mother is much more important than ordinary politeness, so meetings with unpleasant faces It is better to avoid, even if it is one of your relatives. For them, you can always come up with a legend about your wife’s poor health.
Don't let marital love fade away
While expecting a baby, the emphasis in family life shifts greatly. A husband and wife are preparing to become parents, and their marital feelings often fade into the background. This must be remembered by those who seek to strengthen their family through pregnancy and the birth of a child: the effect may be the opposite. In order for marital love not to fade away, it is necessary to support it, and during pregnancy this is the task of the husband. The fact is that a pregnant wife’s natural program turns on and she thinks, first of all, about the offspring. Do not forget to pay attention to your wife exactly as a woman, and not just as to the expectant mother your child. Give compliments, don't forget about romance with flowers and candles. This is a huge contribution to your relationship, because pregnancy is just the beginning of a new stage in your life. family life, and without a deep feeling of love for each other, raising a child together is impossible.