What to do if your dad is an alcoholic. Life with an alcoholic father. How to help an alcoholic father

Alcohol addiction is a dangerous disease that causes the development of other equally serious pathological processes. If the father is an alcoholic, narcologists and psychotherapists know what to do in this case.

Causes of father's alcoholism

In order for alcohol addiction therapy to be more effective, it is necessary to understand the situation and understand what caused the development of the disease. There are several reasons why people start drinking strong drinks regularly. This mostly happens if:

Having understood the factors influencing the development of alcoholism, it is necessary to choose the right strategy that will help a sick person get rid of the anomaly. Only with a competent approach will the desired result be achieved.

Drinking people sincerely believe that they can stop at any moment.

It should be understood that an alcohol-dependent father will deny the existence of a problem. If trying to talk him into quitting drinking or going into rehab therapy doesn't work, don't stop. Any delay can further aggravate the patient's condition.

How to behave with a drinking father?

A person for whom alcohol becomes the meaning of life is a serious problem for others. Due to addiction to alcoholic beverages, his children may develop codependency. With this pathology, a person becomes completely attached to a drunkard.

In dealing with an alcoholic, psychotherapists advise children to avoid educational conversations. Such dialogues can cause aggression and further worsen the situation with the disease. Communicating with the sick, relatives need to maintain a friendly attitude. Otherwise, the alcoholic will begin to perceive loved ones as enemies.

It is recommended to limit the alcohol addict's access to alcohol. You should not give him money for strong drinks. You need to understand that when buying a drink for a patient, relatives not only interfere with the recovery of the drunkard, but also approve the use of alcohol by their actions.

During a hangover, experts advise not to show pity and compassion for the patient. This will help him feel the full negative effects of drinking.

Threats are recommended to be replaced with a calm tone. Children of a drunkard need to understand that alcohol addiction is a disease that requires a comprehensive approach. Before taking any action, it is advisable to consult with a specialist.

How can you help an alcoholic?

It is quite difficult to get rid of an addiction at home. It is possible to confine yourself to the treatment of alcohol dependence at home at stage 1 of the anomaly. In more complex cases, medical assistance is recommended.

To do this, children need to convince their father to undergo treatment in a hospital. Under the supervision of specialists, the quality of therapy will be much higher. During rehabilitation, the following therapeutic elements are used:

drug treatment;
psychological consultations;
physiotherapy.

The duration of therapy depends on the clinical picture, alcohol experience, age and gender of the patient. The presence of chronic diseases can also affect the therapeutic strategy. The narcologist prescribes medications that help remove the decomposition products of ethyl alcohol, as well as restore the balance of minerals and vitamins.

For psycho-emotional disorders, sedatives are used. To overcome alcohol addiction, a specialist may prescribe drugs that cause dislike for drinking to the patient. Making a choice in favor of home treatment, many stop at traditional medicine recipes. In this case, you will need infusions and decoctions of herbs, which, like drugs, allow you to form an aversion to alcohol.

Is there any chance that the father will stop drinking?

Statistical data confirm that with the full completion of the rehabilitation course, in 9 out of 10 cases, a period of remission occurs. Forecasts largely depend on the stage at which the relatives of the alcohol addict turned to specialists.

It takes 5-7 days to cope with the pathological process. The duration of treatment depends on the stage of the disease. The most difficult thing after rehabilitation is to consolidate the achieved effect.

Not always therapy gives instant results. Therefore, when deciding to help your father, you need to be patient. Working with a psychologist will help prevent relapses. Consultations with a specialist will help to find the root cause of alcohol addiction, as well as change the patient's behavior model to a more natural and constructive one. Only under the condition of restoring psycho-emotional balance is it possible to definitely exclude a return to addiction.

How to live and what to do, helping the father to stop drinking - these are the most common questions that arise in their small, but so smart head beyond their years.

It is very common to hear the opinion that if with a child, the father drank all his life , then his sons and daughters will drink, but it is often wrong. Sometimes troubles happen, and the children of drinking parents inherit a pernicious craving for alcohol, but most often a child who has encountered alcoholism in childhood categorically does not accept it.

For a child living with a dependent person for a long period of time, determining his condition is not difficult. But what about children who are faced with a problem for the first time. In a man who is addicted to alcohol, the disease can identify at an early stage . Dependence on alcoholic beverages is characterized by the following features:

Father often drinks to the state strong intoxication ;
His well-being every day getting worse;
A man happens bouts of aggression and he is often irritable;
When drinking alcohol he doesn't get sick.

This is the first stage of alcoholism. It can last for several months or several years. With an increase in the amount of alcohol consumed, second stage of the disease :

Dad has a condition called withdrawal syndrome . With it, during sobering up, the state of health worsens. Because of this, binges may occur;
parent in the morning gets drunk drinking another dose of alcohol;
The father appears insomnia, he cannot fall asleep for a long time, his sleep is sensitive and restless;
At the moment of a hangover, he is overcome feelings of guilt, fear, anxiety.

Further formed third stage, which is considered the last. At this stage, dad is faced with the problem of personality degradation. He is overcome by mental illness, psychosis, hysteria, uncontrolled aggression often occur. It was during this period urgent and mandatory treatment required , otherwise grief will happen in the family - the father will drink and it will end in death. The fact is that by the third stage, the human body is poisoned by alcohol and its internal organs begin to gradually fail. Heart, liver, kidneys, brain are destroyed and eventually lead to death .

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Often children do not understand why the father began to drink alcohol every day , began to beat his mother strongly and constantly rage. They do not understand the behavior of the once loving and caring dad, who before their eyes turns into a stranger with an unpleasant smell, behavior and appearance. Therefore, the child is confused and does not know how to behave correctly.

Children who have experienced a parent's alcoholism should stick to some rules and clarify the following:

But, in a conversation with dad, you should not involve people he doesn't know . For example, a girl should not try to wean her boyfriend's parent to drink or involve neighbors, this can lead to a worsening of the situation and aggression of a man. His ruined reputation and bad mood will lead to even more alcohol abuse.

By the way! Help for the father can be provided by one of the drugs from alcoholism. Find out which remedies are currently the most effective in the fight against addiction.

Addiction treatment is possible at home even without the knowledge of the drinker. This is convenient when a man refuses treatment and does not recognize his illness.

Intimate talk

But what should children do if the family drunk father does not work ? The answer to this question is of interest to many children and adolescents who are faced with the problem of alcohol addiction in their parents. Despite the young age and low authority of the child, he can influence the situation by choosing the right approach. A frank conversation with dad will help in this matter. Not worth the first words accuse a man of alcoholism and point out its shortcomings. Moral teachings, reproaches, insults can drive him crazy and will not lead to the desired result. A conversation will be more effective if it is structured like this:

Remember the positive from the "past" life - a joint vacation, fishing, going to the circus or zoo;
Praise your father about his sobriety at the moment. To say that you really appreciate such moments and the opportunity to talk with him;
Find some reasons why the child likes the sobriety of a man - he is kind, attentive, he smells good, he can teach new and interesting things;
Some cunning on the part of the child may also help. It may be mentioned in passing about dad in a drunken state and his behavior, shed a tear or talk about it with bitterness in words. Parents find it hard to bear the sincere tears of children, especially those caused by their behavior;
As a result, it should ask your father not to drink , but do it categorically.

If these steps are not successful, then you can try to take care of his health and build a conversation in this direction. Tell that alcohol poisons his body, leads to serious problems health and can even lead to death. Ask about how he feels when he is hungover, if he likes such a life with a headache, nausea, heaviness in the stomach and confusion of thoughts. Let him think about it. Find out in the end whether the parent wants to stop drinking and come up with solutions to the problem together.

Dependency Calculator

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your addiction

dependency type:

There is no danger to the body, the habit of drinking is characteristic of many people, but in the indicated quantities and with the indicated parameters of the patient, it does no harm to the body. Many people on holidays and after work relieve stress with alcohol, but are not addicted to it.

The patient sees alcohol as a way out of difficult situations and resorts to alcohol drinks more and more often. This stage is dangerous because in any difficult situation in life, this stage can smoothly move into the next one, which is much more dangerous for health.

At this stage, an addicted person can no longer do without alcohol, but he is firmly convinced that he is able to quit at any time, but not today. Already here complications with the liver and other difficulties with the organs and well-being can begin.

Special treatment and a small rehabilitation course, plus the support of relatives, are able to withdraw from this stage. This stage can provoke very serious problems with the liver and other organs, which will lead to illness for the rest of your life.

This stage is not hopeless, but it requires an extremely serious approach to treatment and a long period of rehabilitation, with regular medical procedures, many drugs and, often, expensive treatment.

Duration of addiction treatment:

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How can children help their father stop drinking?

Children always worried about their parents whatever their way of life and actions. And even a small child, and even more so a teenager, can provide all possible assistance to his father, who is faced with the problem of dependence on alcoholic beverages.

First of all, it is worth understanding that alcoholism is a disease that requires treatment. A parent does not choose such a life, it becomes the result of some problems of an adult, with which he could not cope on his own. Condemnation and reproaches will not help, and the decision to leave dad to the mercy of fate can lead to a deterioration in his condition and even death from alcohol. Dad should be supported, only adults together with doctors can help to understand the reasons, but children's help will be invaluable and can push the head of the family to take decisive action. Can seek help from the church . Children's prayer that the father does not drink can bear fruit if the child really desires it. You can persuade dad to visit the Temple of God together and maybe he will be imbued and stop drinking.

Attention! On the site you can find reviews of various drugs for alcoholism in the appropriate section. You can choose any review and get acquainted with the goods, then find out the opinion of users and, if desired, place an order.

They can be given to a parent by mixing drugs into food, but only after consulting a specialist.

Emergency - what to do?

Life with an addict does not always go smoothly and without difficult situations. Sometimes the question arises what to do if the father drinks heavily , rowdy and throws with a knife. Such a dangerous condition can occur in a patient with alcohol abuse for several days in a row. If at the time of the appearance of aggression there are no adults nearby, then the child should not be in the field of view of the drunk parent. How to live a daughter or son if their alcoholic dad drinks every day and there are no adults nearby. We offer you to listen to some tips and take them into service:

Not worth your behavior or actions provoke a man to aggression for example, try to pick up alcohol;
Don't get into discussions with a parent and his drinking friends, try to reason with them not to drink;
If dad is clearly drunk, it would be better for the child to visit relatives or friends. until the sobering up of a man .

In the event of a sudden rejection from alcohol, for example, when the father drank for several days in a row, and then decided to quit, he may develop withdrawal symptoms. This condition can be dangerous to health, so if dad gets sick, the right thing to do is call an ambulance .

My name is Masha, I am 26 years old. My father died at the end of last year. He was only 52 years old, he was an alcoholic. When he died, I was not surprised, I was practically not upset, I did not cry. I didn't care, it just pissed me off that on New Year's Eve, instead of pleasant holiday chores, I had to attend to the funeral. In all my life, he gave me nothing and left nothing, except for the murdered odnushka, a bunch of complexes, mental trauma and terrible childhood memories, he spoiled my mother and I all my life with his drunkenness. I am writing this and I know that later I will most likely be ashamed of the fact that I “took dirty linen out of the hut”, said nasty things about my dear person, especially the already deceased ...

I grew up in a sense of eternal chaos. I never knew what to expect. I remember I was five or six years old when my mother went on a business trip and left me with my father. I woke up in the morning, drank milk with dryers, and then sat waiting for my dad to wake up and let me go for a walk. I sat on the windowsill hungry and looked out the window at how my friends were playing in the yard. Father slept until dinner, always got up shaggy and angry, began to find fault with me. Then, as I later realized, he got drunk and became just a super-daddy - a humorous, kind, just a golden person who joked, gave me money and kicked me out for a walk. And the next day, everything is new: a hangover, nitpicking and insults. It all torn me apart, especially when he yelled at my mother and lied that he didn’t drink, played with me and everything was fine with us.

All weekends and holidays, all birthdays, every New Year - everything is spoiled, spoiled by father's booze. His mother worked hard at two jobs, and he was constantly stuck at home, because he was expelled from everywhere. He did not go on a binge, but he could easily oversleep, be late, not answer when the boss calls, or simply not go out because he was sick with a hangover.

What is the wildest thing for me: he died of cirrhosis, but he never recognized himself as an alcoholic! He always said that everything was fine with him, that it was my mother and I who were persecuting him, and he was just a muzzled person who was tired of life and so relieves stress. He simply loved to complain about his miserable life and blame everyone. Perhaps, if it weren’t for this trait of his, I could still communicate with him sometimes, but listening to the same thing every time about how bad everyone around was unbearable. I did not respect my father and never knew what it was like when a daughter is proud of her father, feels loved, protected, valuable. I am writing this now, and at the very tears a river of resentment.

It is terrible that because of vodka the whole life of a person and his family goes downhill.

I don’t understand: why do you drinking men get married and have children? You don't need them!! My father was never interested in my affairs! He didn't know anything about me! Never supported in anything - neither morally nor financially. All my childhood and all my youth, he either lay in front of the TV set on his sagging old sofa, or drank in the kitchen with a neighbor. When mother came and kicked them out, they continued in the yard. And I, a child, was embarrassed to go out into the street then, because I was ashamed of my drunken father, who would fall asleep in the bushes, then urinate in public, then run into gopota and then walk with a black eye. Once he got drunk, went for cigarettes, slipped in the entrance on the stairs and knocked out two front teeth. So then all my life I walked, and did not put it in.

I am 26 years old, and I have never had a normal relationship with a guy. Although I am a slim, young, seemingly pretty girl, I am valued at work, I can’t start a relationship. I feel very lonely, I suffer a lot because of this.

When a film shows a happy family, a caring father, normal relationships, I feel so hurt and hurt that I can burst into tears. But the worst thing is my self-doubt and resentment for an unhappy childhood. I don't know how to forget and forgive. I tried all sorts of different techniques and went to a psychologist, but it didn’t get any easier. I don't know what should happen. He has already died, I am an adult, I do not drink, I have my own good life, my mother is alive and well, thank God, she divorced her father a long time ago, moved in with her colleague. It would seem that if you repair your father’s apartment or sell it and buy a new one, get married, live and be happy. And I can't live. I am constantly tense, constantly waiting for a dirty trick, I often cry, I can suddenly flare up and yell at a person. Then I feel ashamed, but for some reason I can’t apologize either, although I scold terribly inside myself! In general, I am a terrible pessimist by nature - I very rarely experience a feeling of true joy, not to mention happiness - something always gets in the way.

I think a lot about how my life could have turned out if my father didn’t drink at all, if we lived together, if they gave birth to a sister or brother to me ... What would I be like? Would my father be alive now? Only these dreams give an outlet, at least some support. I dream, and it seems to be easier for me.

One can only guess what feelings a child experiences when he sees his dad drunk. It seems strange and incomprehensible how this man, who does not remember what he does and says, behaves inappropriately and sometimes beats his relatives, can be your father. If dad drinks, then this situation seems hopeless to the child, he does not know who to turn to, he tries to hide the situation in the family from those around him. But there is always a way out, and even a child himself can do a lot to protect himself and help his father stop drinking.

The problem of alcoholism

Many people know how to live with an alcoholic, since alcohol addiction in our time is a fairly common disease that children in the family suffer from. Alcoholism occurs due to prolonged and frequent use of alcohol. This disease is characterized by mental and physical dependence. Very often, a drinking person does not even realize that he suffers from alcohol addiction.

If the father drinks, quarrels, conflicts, scandals and even fights often arise in the family. Children are the first to suffer from this. If nothing is done in time, the disease enters a deeper stage, a person's life goes downhill, the family breaks up. It is even harder for children whose mother drinks or both parents drink.

However, do not confuse ordinary household drunkenness with alcoholism. In the first case, it is enough just to talk to a person. Perhaps everything will stop when the father's problems are solved or financial well-being improves. But often it is everyday drunkenness that smoothly turns into alcoholism. The question arises, how to determine that a parent is an alcoholic?

Signs of alcoholism

If the father drinks, then you need to pay attention to his behavior. The following signs indicate the onset of alcoholism:

the person is often under the influence of alcohol;
he often feels unwell;
if he cannot drink, he is irritable and angry;
in a state of intoxication, a person is often aggressive;
even after long-term use of alcohol, the father does not have any nausea or vomiting.

manifestations of withdrawal syndrome (after drinking, dad is very ill in the morning);
he often treats bad morning feeling with a new dose of alcohol (he gets drunk);
when the father drinks, his sleep suffers, insomnia appears;
a person experiences anxiety, a sense of fear and anxiety.

At this stage, the father needs urgent treatment, as mental disorders will soon appear. A strong dependence on alcohol can make a man impotent, he develops cardiovascular diseases and other diseases of the internal organs. All external manifestations of alcoholism are clearly expressed:

hand tremor;
swelling of the face and limbs;
profuse salivation.

Your actions

Many unfortunate children wonder what to do if dad drinks often? To get started, you need to do the following:

Try to calm down and assess the situation. Maybe the father does not drink so much and often, and is not an alcoholic at all. Sometimes a child from worries about his mother, his life and family can exaggerate the problem. In such a situation, after you calm down, you need to tell your mother or one of your relatives about your feelings. It is important to consider how much and how often the father drinks. If this is a bottle of beer after work sometimes, and not a strong alcoholic drink every day, then there is no cause for concern yet.
You don't need to tell your father that you think he's an alcoholic. From this, he will not stop drinking, but only get very angry, even if at that moment he is in a sober state.
It is very difficult for many children to tell someone: I live with an alcoholic father. Often the problem is hushed up because of shame for their parents. But you need to tell one of the adults about the situation in the family. You can turn to people you can trust. It can be relatives, acquaintances, friends or parents of friends. First of all, after this, the child will feel better. In addition, they can advise what to do in this situation, since it is very difficult to solve such a problem on your own.
In order for dad to stop drinking, you can ask someone from the people whom the father trusts to talk to him. It could be your dad's parents, your grandparents, his friend or brother.

Attention: you should not involve outsiders and completely unfamiliar people to talk with dad. This will not help the father stop drinking, but will only anger him, ruin his reputation and create the impression of a dysfunctional family.

Answering the question of what to do if the father often drinks, the child can be advised to talk to a sober dad. Just don't do it when he's drunk. In a conversation, you do not need to tell your father - I live with an alcoholic. It is important to express your concern about the health of the pope without moralizing, reproaches and accusations. The conversation is better to build in this vein:

you can start with memories of a joint trip, hike or games;
then praise dad for sobriety, tell him how much you love him;
then find reasons and explain why you like it so much when he is sober;
at the end, try to put pressure on pity and burst into tears from the memories of what happened when dad was drunk (it is important that your tears and words are sincere, not a single parent can withstand the tears of a beloved child);
ask him not to drink.

Actions in an emergency

You need to think in advance what to do if the father is on a drinking binge. If dad does not stop drinking for several days in a row, then in this state he can be dangerous to others and you. If there is no mother at home and you are alone, then it is better not to take risks and not stay in an apartment with a drunken inadequate father and his drinking companions. In this case, you should heed the following tips:

No need to forcefully take alcohol from dad or hide the bottle. From this, an inadequate drunk person can become aggressive and harm you.
Talking to your father and drinking buddies, trying to convince them to leave, is also pointless.
It's better for you to leave the house for a while. Just not just on the street, but go to relatives or friends.

You should also be aware of a serious condition called withdrawal symptoms. It occurs in alcoholics after alcohol withdrawal. That is, if a person drank for several days in a row, and then stopped himself or ran out of alcohol, then he becomes very ill. In this case, you need to call an ambulance, because severe withdrawal can result in a coma, heart attack, stroke, or even death.

No matter how hard it is for you to contemplate a drunken father, you should understand a few simple truths and adhere to the following recommendations:

Alcoholism is a disease, not a person's own desire. He should not be offended and condemned.
Don't turn your back on your father. If his family and relatives leave him, he will simply get drunk and die. Such a patient should be supported in every possible way and helped to get out of this state.
When dad comes away from drinking, he is very ill (withdrawal syndrome). In this state, he does not need to be left alone, be always there and support him so that he sees that someone else needs him and understands that in this life he still has something to fight for.
All his attempts to stop drinking should be encouraged and supported on the way to a sober life.

If the child is already an adult

An adult son or daughter living their own lives can provide much more help to their drinking father:

To quickly stop the father's drinking, you can call a narcologist at home. He will detoxify the body and dad will feel better.
As soon as the father is sober, you should immediately contact a psychologist who will help identify and eliminate the cause of drunkenness.
If the father does not mind, he can be assigned for treatment to a narcological dispensary, where he will undergo further rehabilitation.
When dad makes a firm decision to take the path of sobriety, then you can help him put his life and apartment in order.
In no case do not keep your father company in drunken feasts. For you, this is dangerous because you have a bad heredity and can also join the ranks of people with alcohol addiction. If you think that dad will drink less alcohol with your participation, then he can easily find himself an additional dose elsewhere if he wants to.
After the father embarks on the path of a sober life, all alcohol must be removed from the house. Even family feasts and holidays should be celebrated without alcohol.