Very often, girls are faced with a situation where an interesting acquaintance occurs, but the guy they like hesitates in inviting them on a date. I want to see you, but it’s a shame to intrude, and traditionally it is believed that the first step should be the man’s. In addition, there is a possibility that if you try to win a man, you will have to “fight” for him throughout the entire relationship.
What women's get-togethers are complete without discussing the topic of how guys have become lazy and are waiting for the first (and not only the first!) step from the fairer sex? Many note a rather frightening tendency for men to expect that they will be conquered, fight for their attention, and show activity and determination. Driven by such sentiments, the “knights” expect exploits from beautiful ladies: calls, messages, confessions, proposals...
How to invite a man on a date without losing your position or changing roles with a man? – this is a question many girls ask when faced with the need to take initiative. In some cases, it is certainly justified (for example, modest, shy guys need some kind of push, insight), but there are situations that do not require any activity on the part of the woman.
How to casually ask a man out on a date?
- The first step is to come up with a reason for the meeting that is as natural and plausible as possible. This way, it will be easier for a girl to voice an invitation (not everyone is ready to come up and say head-on: “I like you! Let’s go for a walk!”), and the risk of being rejected will be minimized, since the invitation will look like a request for help, company, etc.
- Choose a suitable time and place (both for the date itself and for inviting you to it), as well as a method: during a personal conversation, via SMS or call, correspondence on a social network.
- The right attitude is half the success. No matter what emotions are raging in your soul, outwardly you need to try to be as calm and friendly as possible, and not show your excitement in any way. The invitation should sound natural, friendly, and relaxed.
- Find the right approach to a man, make him feel his own need to meet.
- “I heard that a new club is opening soon, they promise a cool concert program. I haven’t had fun for a long time, I’d like to go. Will you go?";
- “Did you hear that noses and ostriches were brought to our zoo? So interesting to see...";
- “I can’t find a place for joy: next week there’s finally a premiere of the new “Ice Age”! Would you like to join me?
- “My friend and I were planning to go to City Day, but her schedule changed, and she will have to work that day. It’s so insulting... It’s boring to walk on your own, can’t you help me out?”;
- “I have a bike rental shop nearby, it’s so cheap! I haven’t taken it yet, but my friends went for a ride and were very pleased. Won't you join me?"
- “Are you busy on Friday night? I really want to go to the skating rink, but I’m not good at skating. I could use a cheerful company and strong hands to pull me off the ice if I suddenly fall enchantingly flat”;
- “Did you hear that Luna Park is coming??? Finally! Come with me? This year I plan to visit all the attractions without exception!”
Those. The essence of the strategy is to quietly “incorporate” your invitation into the conversation process, to captivate the guy with something interesting, so that he wants to go there himself, and he will happily agree to join the company.
What not to do:
- “hint” more than 2–3 times, otherwise from the outside it will look like an outright hunt;
- invite him in front of witnesses (colleagues, classmates, acquaintances) - the date has not yet taken place, but everyone already knows about it;
- do not rush to invite him soon after breaking up - he may experience nostalgia for past relationships, and there is a possibility of refusal;
- avoid intrusiveness, do not whine: “Well, please, come with me!” - if he doubts;
- avoid any romantic component, for example, writing a message in verse (a man may regard the first step as an encroachment on his freedom, imagining how he is already being dragged to the registry office and occupying all the free hangers in his closet with his dresses);
- When counting on a serious relationship and inviting a guy on a first date, it is better to refrain from any manifestations of sexuality, so as not to create the impression of easy access.
How do men of different zodiac signs feel about the manifestation of female initiative?
Considering that people born under one or another zodiac sign have certain similar traits, they react to certain life situations more or less typically, predictably.
A Pisces man, for example, even if he has sympathy for a woman, due to natural indecisiveness, does not dare to ask her out for a long time, he thinks carefully, weighs all the pros and cons. Therefore, he will be grateful to the woman for the initiative and the first step. However, you need to be careful not to spoil your impression of yourself or scare him away. 
The same can be said for Libra, Cancer, Virgo men - sometimes they lack determination, and an initiative coming from a woman will be received positively only if it is devoid of intrusiveness and haste.
Leo, Gemini, Taurus, Scorpio men, due to their activity and assertiveness, do not need the first step on the part of the girl - they will take it themselves immediately and with all determination. Aries tend to immediately try to clarify the situation, so you need to be prepared for the possibility that the question may follow: “Is this a friendly meeting, or do I mean a little more to you?”
The behavior of a Sagittarius may seem strange and ambiguous, and all because he, like no one else, needs an emotional response from his partner. So a representative of this sign will probably also react positively to the girl’s offer to spend leisure time together.
6 reasons why a guy might be hesitant to ask you out
- One of the main phobias of the strong half of humanity is the fear of being rejected.
- Too tight schedule, lack of free time, which is why the initiative, although in the plans, is constantly postponed (“I need to finish the quarterly report...”, “I’ll just get back from a business trip, I’ll call her and invite her to the cinema,” “I need to finish writing it urgently.” diploma... I’ll finish and celebrate: I’ll ask her out!”).
- Excessive shyness, indecisiveness. He can have the most tender feelings for a girl, walk around her, not daring to ask her for a walk.
- He has a girlfriend.
- Not interested in dating at this time due to personal reasons (experiences associated with a recent breakup, unrequited love for another girl, etc.).
- He does not approve of the initiative on the part of a woman, believing that it contradicts his nature as a conqueror.
What to do in case of refusal
For a woman’s pride, refusal is the worst thing that can happen, especially if the attempt to invite the man you like on a date was the result of much thought and mental tossing. However, it is worth understanding that this event is far from a tragedy, and you need to be grateful to the man for his honesty (if, for example, it turned out that he has a girlfriend, and this motivates his refusal). You need to try to control your emotions so as not to show your disappointment and dissatisfaction.
A good way out of this situation is to say a phrase with a sweet smile like: “You know, I offered only in a friendly way - I don’t invite men on dates first. But it’s okay, I respect your position, you’re great.”
Even the most confident girl finds it difficult to invite a guy out on her own. Some are afraid of seeming too intrusive, others are not ready to take the first step. Many people assume that a woman has no right to be active towards a man. There is a chance that the young man will lose interest in such an active person. With the right approach this will not happen. She can always hint to the gentleman about a meeting or use other methods.
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- hint;
- disguise a date as a friendly meeting;
- be sincere;
- ask for help.
- via SMS;
- using social networks;
- personally.
- 1. “I have an extra movie ticket, we could go together.”
- 2. “There will be an interesting exhibition (or concert) soon, I think you would be interested in visiting it.”
- 3. “You and I have a lot of topics to talk about, I suggest we chat in a restaurant over a glass of wine.”
- 4. “My friend’s wedding is coming this weekend, I need a gentleman.”
- 5. “I want to go out of town, you love nature, so we could go together.”
- 6. “I read on the Internet that very rare animals were brought to the zoo.”
- 7. “I want to do a photo shoot, I’m sure you could take a photo of me.”
- 8. “I dream of going on a bike ride, but I don’t have company.”
- 1. Being too active. All proposals for a meeting should be unobtrusive. Otherwise, the guy will feel like he is being hunted.
- 2. Invite on a date in front of witnesses. In this case, the young man may experience awkwardness. Not everyone likes it when strangers know about their personal life.
- 3. Moan. It is necessary to exclude phrases like “Please”, lisp, etc.
- 4. Use romance. If a girl invites a guy to a meeting by sending him a beautiful poem and accompanying it with a touching postcard, then such behavior will seem strange to the young man.
Show all
Find out information about the guy
It is important for a girl to understand the interests of the object of her adoration. Leisure should be interesting and exciting for a young man. If she invites an ardent football fan to a concert at the Philharmonic, she has a greater chance of being rejected.
It is recommended to talk to the guy's friends. If it is impossible to contact them, then the Internet will help. On a social network page, it’s worth looking at what kind of music he listens to, what hobbies he enjoys, etc. Based on the information received, it will be easier to come up with an event that will definitely interest him.
Invitation methods
The invitation must be submitted correctly. There are several ways to ask a guy to meet:
The choice of one method or another depends on self-confidence. For those girls who are not confident in themselves, it is much easier to use various excuses. Others have no problem saying their intentions directly. But, regardless of the method, preparatory work needs to be done.
Hints
The initiative does not have to come from a woman. If you wish, you can easily push the guy to decide on a date himself. To do this, the girl just needs to hint to the young man that she has no plans for the coming weekend and will have to spend it alone.
It is worth clarifying that the girl would not mind going to a concert or other event, but all her friends are busy. There is no need to get hung up on this topic, just make a slight hint. If a man has sympathy for a girl, he will definitely grab this opportunity.
It must be remembered that for some young people, subtle hints are an incomprehensible science. Therefore, if a man does not offer himself as a companion, this does not mean that he has no interest.
Masking Intentions
To prevent a guy from refusing or being embarrassed by meeting a girl one-on-one, you should use friends. This is especially true for young boys.
You can invite a young man to a party of one of his comrades. Knowing that his friends are present at the event, he will feel much more confident. At the same time, such a meeting should be considered a date, since the girl and the object of her adoration will come together or chat.
You should not invite a guy to an unfamiliar company. In this situation, he will feel even more insecure and refuse the meeting.
Sincerity
If a girl is far from intrigue or does not know how to give hints, then you should not fuss. Older men value and respect sincere representatives of the fair sex more.
It is enough to honestly admit that the person is attractive and invite him to spend time together. However, you need to act carefully and not put too much pressure on your gentleman.
Ask for help
In order for a guy to be guaranteed to agree to meet a girl, she must demonstrate to him that she is helpless. For example, if a woman says that she has difficulties installing a particular program on her computer, then a man will be pleased to show off his skills in working with technology. The excuse could be a broken car, apartment renovations, or moving. If a young man is actively involved in sports, then it is worth asking him to help create a training course.
First you need to find out what exactly the young man is strong at, so as not to put him in an awkward situation.
What phrases to use
You can invite a guy on a date or for a walk:
When talking or texting, don't rant for too long. It is recommended to use the following phrases:
These phrases can easily be adapted to any other pretext.
What not to do
The story of one of our readers Alina R.:
Money has always been my main problem. Because of this, I had a lot of complexes. I considered myself a failure, problems at work and in my personal life haunted me. However, I decided that I still needed personal help. Sometimes it seems that the problem is in you, all failures are just a consequence of bad energy, the evil eye or some other bad force.
Do you want a happy relationship and meet a worthy man?
And the question is spinning in my head:
“Is it possible to be the first to invite a man on a date or is a woman’s initiative punishable?”
You naively believe that there are 2 options: take the initiative or wait until the man does it. In fact, there is only one option. If, of course, you want to start building a happy relationship today. Because while you are waiting, another modern woman is the first to invite a man and becomes happy. Be that woman.
Don't be afraid to go on a first date with a man
It's normal to be afraid to take the first step. But in reality it is not so difficult, and from the first minutes you will be able to interest a man. Imagine that skydiving is a 10 on the fear scale. We assure you that inviting a man for coffee is only 0.002 points. But just like with jumping, you need to train and learn to do it correctly.
In the modern world, it makes no difference who should do what and who should take the first step, the main thing is the result. A man is even more afraid to invite a woman because his pride is more vulnerable. Modern and dignified, he is so busy making money that he will only be grateful to a woman who will take him out of the whirlwind of life’s tasks for pleasant communication.
Just think about the fact that this is not the 19th century. The man is waiting and ready for the offer to “have a cup of coffee.” A woman’s initiative is already something familiar and desirable for a man. You won't be the first, but you may be the last.
You have nothing to lose by asking a man out on a date.
Let's reveal a secret that not everyone can admit to themselves. Most often, women do not invite a man on a date not because they are afraid of refusal, but because they think about their pride and dignity. Women, dear ones, happiness cannot be built on pride. Your dignity will always remain with you if you behave like a real woman during a date. But a real woman is not born, but becomes.
This is no longer at all connected with the fear of taking the first step. This is self-doubt and dependence on people's opinions. And these fears must be dealt with using special methods.
You have nothing to lose if you invite a man on a date, but only gain a chance for a happy relationship.
Let's figure out what's so terrible that can happen when you invite him.
Right now, imagine inviting a man for coffee. You sit and get ready for a long time, write to him, re-read the message 5 times, delete and write again, finally send.
An hour or two passes, he does not answer. You think that everything is lost and you get upset. You are a little sad, but nothing bad happened, you didn’t lose anything. You didn’t write him any vulgarities or anything obscene, so you have dignity, confidence, even more so. You are so confident in yourself that you calmly write to the man you like. You overcame your fears, and he didn’t even answer you - this already shows his level of courage to answer you honestly.
While you had time to get upset and think that you shouldn’t have written, the man just read the message. And he replied: “It’s so cool that you wrote, otherwise I was completely exhausted at work. I can’t do it today, let’s go tomorrow evening, where can I pick you up?” Your mood has soared, you are fluttering and happy. Now a date and a new happy relationship awaits you.
You haven't lost anything. You have just found a chance for a relationship, for happiness, for a good evening, for pleasant communication. You got victory over yourself and the most valuable thing - experience.
How to invite a man on a first date and not fall flat on your face
Participants in our training are not afraid to meet, write, call or approach unfamiliar men. They have learned to do it in such a way that the stronger sex cannot refuse them.
Imagine - this is just the beginning of the path to happiness. You can achieve a lot when you learn more secrets and practice them. Training participants receive gifts from men just like that, go on dates and build happy relationships. Read their reviews and see for yourself.
When a girl dreams of meeting the guy she likes, she can do anything for this. If a girl wants something, then she will go to the end and this, first of all, concerns winning a guy. When a girl finally meets a guy, she is very happy, and when her chosen one turns out to be even better than she imagined, she is doubly happy. And so, it seems, the guy likes you, and you communicate well, and even sometimes crossed paths in the city. But the date never materialises. What to do? Girls are lost in doubt, or maybe he doesn’t really like me, or maybe he has a girlfriend that he forgot to tell you about, or maybe he’s even gay. Girls, don’t rush to make yourself feel terrible with your thoughts and guesses.
Often, guys are just very shy and don’t know how to ask you out on a date. So, if you want your relationship to progress somehow, we advise you to take the first step yourself and ask the guy on a date. Don't be afraid, in our modern world this has become so commonplace that no one is surprised by anything anymore. So, how do you ask a guy out on a date?
- To begin with, and this is important, believe me, find out if your chosen one has a girlfriend, or worse, a wife. Yes, don’t be surprised, sometimes men are not the most honest, so to be on the safe side, find out this. It’s even better if your search is much deeper, and try to find out about his ex-girlfriend, whether they communicate, whether they intersect. This is important because often ex-girlfriends do not give the guy the opportunity to start a new relationship.
- Find out as much as you can about the guy. The main thing is to do this inconspicuously and quietly. Find out what kind of girls he likes, what he dislikes most in girls. Perhaps something is irritating him. Ask around, believe me, it will be a big plus for you if you know more about your desired property. If you succeed, then find out why he broke up with his ex-girlfriend, what happened in their relationship. Find out from his friends what it was like, believe me, the guy’s friends will tell you a lot of interesting things about him.
- Now that you have learned a little about the guy, the next step is to test your irresistibility and confidence. Of course, asking a guy out on a date is not an easy task, but think about who you are. If you are a confident and self-sufficient girl, then why do you think that the guy will not be happy to hear a proposal from you. Think about what your best qualities are and why your friends and family love you. If you love yourself, your chosen one will love you too.
- If you are ready, then do not be afraid and take the first step. Ask a guy out on a date and don't be afraid to hear a negative answer. When you invite a guy, you still need to ask everything correctly. Your sentence should not contain the prefix “not”, for example, “don’t you want to?”, you won’t agree, go?” Use the pronoun “we”, “maybe we can meet?” A lot depends on the correct question. So, think carefully about your question.
By hinting at a date to a guy, a girl can make sure that he doesn’t realize that the initiative doesn’t come from him. Flirting and an alluring look are enough. And if signs of sympathy are noticeable, he only needs a push to action in the form of an encouraging smile and a clear desire to communicate with him.
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But when a young man is timid and he clearly likes the girl, he will be glad that the initiative comes from her. For a shy lady, the option of an email, SMS message or the help of friends will be suitable, who will hint to the guy that she is interested.
Preparation
Many guys like it when girls pay attention to them and do not hide their interest. Women's initiative is welcome, but only if the man himself is not against the relationship. To invite him first, you need to take into account important conditions:
- young people have known each other for some time;
- the guy is a little interested;
- he is shy and indecisive around girls;
- She has been in love for a long time and is tired of revealing her feelings.
If it is obvious that a man is indifferent and cold in communication, you should not be the first to invite him to a meeting. We need to wait some more time and find out more information. You should remember what he likes in women and what annoys him. It is important to understand his interests and how he likes to spend his time. Then it’s worth showing him that the woman has the necessary qualities, that they have the same tastes and hobbies.
Having decided to take the first step towards a relationship, a girl should not forget that men first pay attention to external data. Therefore, you need to look attractive, seductive and feminine. The guy should be interested and charmed so that he agrees to the meeting. It is important to show your best side, skillfully emphasizing your strengths and hiding your weaknesses.
Girls who have a decisive character and are not shy about inviting a guy for a walk should follow this plan:
- 1. Make sure he is not dating another woman.
- 2. Think about the day and place of the meeting in advance.
- 3. Choose a place where there will be no distractions.
- 4. Be prepared for the fact that the guy is busy with something and has no time for dates.
- 5. Set yourself in a positive mood, be moderately relaxed and confident.
- 6. Do not insist or impose if he is not sure and is hesitating.
You should speak to him in a calm tone and not show off your love. He shouldn't think that he can play on a girl's feelings and treat her with disrespect. Let him see that he is being given a chance to have a relationship with an interesting, proud, brave and confident woman.
How to ask a girl to date
Methods
Not all girls can invite a man on a date. The reason lies in moral principles, pride or shyness.
A girl who is serious and ready to be the first to invite a guy for a walk needs to use the following methods:
| Methods | Psychology of relationships |
| Directly, in personal communication | This is the easiest and most sincere way to ask a guy out on a date. Thus, the girl immediately shows interest and gives the opportunity to meet her halfway. You just need to think through your words in advance, tune in to reciprocity and not be upset if you refuse |
| Under indirect pretext | You can ask for help, ask the guy’s opinion and interest him in an unusual offer. One way to attract attention is to go with a group and be alone, and then say in a frivolous tone that the girl specially arranged everything so that she could be alone with him. If he takes the joke correctly, you should offer to meet again, and if he starts getting ready to go home, react calmly and part as friends. He may still change his mind |
| Through a common hobby | If young people communicate for a while, it means they already know something about each other. You can unite through common interests and hobbies. It is worth suggesting not a date, but a joint hike, a bike ride or a competition on a game console or computer game. Guys rarely do not accept a challenge from a girl who promises to beat her. By spending time on common hobbies, a woman will make him feel her worth and her sympathy. The main thing is to look seductive so as not to go into the “friend” status, from which it will be difficult to get out |
| With the help of friends | This method is suitable if young people do not know each other or see each other extremely rarely. You need to ask a mutual friend to tell you about the girl the guy is interested in. So that the assistant does not let you down, you should tell him how best to do it |
You can invite a guy on a date through correspondence over the Internet. This is why there are email accounts and social networks. You can start communicating with a young man through a social network . There are many cases where people reveal themselves during correspondence. After communicating for a while and not waiting for an offer to meet, you can jokingly ask the guy if he really wants to prove that he is right. He will understand her desire to meet and decide in advance whether he wants a relationship with her.
You should carefully insert guiding words into messages, hinting at a date, using phrases such as: “see you again,” “you’ll show me when we meet,” or “when we meet, then we’ll discuss it.” If he doesn’t offer to see you, you should offer to meet yourself. So that he does not refuse, you can joke that the girl will be offended and will not correspond with him for several days, or give him time to think about it.
In a telephone conversation, as in an SMS message, you can say that you need to meet and discuss some details. And when meeting in person, it’s worth admitting that the girl wanted to see him. The message must be written correctly, choosing words carefully. Psychologists do not recommend using more than four sentences in a message and adding emoticons to it. Men are more willing to respond if they receive a humorous and positive message; it will resemble flirting and promise a pleasant pastime.
- 1. “We have a lot in common, would you like to continue the conversation tomorrow (evening) in private?”
- 2. "You seem interesting to me."
- 3. "I've never met a guy like you."
- 4. "Any girl would be happy to date a guy like this."
- 5. "I want to get to know you better."
- 6. "Let's meet and go for a walk somewhere."
During the meeting and conversation, it is necessary for the guy to notice that the girl enjoys his company. It is important to show that she is cheerful, capricious and charming. There needs to be more talk about how they have many common interests and that she supports his point of view. And in order to completely conquer, you need to laugh at his jokes, emphasize that he is witty and strong.
How to make a boy fall in love with you
How to invite your ex-boyfriend?
Asking your ex-boyfriend out on a date is not difficult if he wants it. It is enough for him to hint that the girl is free and bored alone, and he himself will offer to meet. If a girl’s feelings haven’t gone away, and the young man has already cooled off, it’s almost impossible to get him back, and it’s worth thinking about whether she’s okay with him being around only out of pity.
When an ex-boyfriend wants to come back, but does not want to be the first to reconcile, he needs to see her beautiful, happy and satisfied with her life. After observing the girl, he will call her to meet and, perhaps, offer to start all over again.
If a woman cannot imagine life without her beloved, she needs to reproduce the actions of the first meeting and more often remind them how happy they were and that they broke up due to stubbornness and emotional immaturity.
To invite your ex-boyfriend on a date and hear words of regret from him, you need to arrange “random” meetings and ask friends to talk about her fun life. And when you see him, be sincerely happy, ask about life, show empathy and offer support. Having become accustomed to seeing his ex-lover often, the guy will begin to get bored, and when his melancholy becomes obvious, you can invite him to have dinner together and remember the pleasant moments.