IS A UNCRODED MARRIAGE AN FORNISH No! Fornication and unmarried marriage are completely different things. An unmarried marriage is an unmarried marriage, not fornication. When we celebrate marriage, we read about how the Lord Jesus Christ came to marriage in Cana of Galilee. Were these people married? No! But we read in the Gospel that Christ came to marriage in Cana of Galilee, and not to fornication in Cana of Galilee... If a marriage is not crowned, it is still a marriage. What is marriage? Where one man lives with one woman, gives birth to children with her, considers her his wife. For some reason, they are not married: either they are unbelievers, or one of them is an unbeliever. But they live together, build their nest together, endure joys and sorrows together. What kind of lunatics are they? This is an unmarried marriage. A civil marriage, just in the correct terms, is a scheduled marriage that does not have a wedding. And in the modern sense, civil marriage is cohabitation. Here fornication cohabitation without mutual promises is a crime. Mainly against women. She says to him: "Well, let's live like this, how flies get married, without hallelujah?" He replies: “Yes, we will live, but why not live?” Is it difficult for a man to live without hallelujah? She says to him: “Well, you don’t promise me anything? I don't promise you anything either. This is all the man needs. That's how they live: she's 20, he's 28. She's 25, he's already 33. He's tired of her... Has she gotten prettier over the past five years? Firstly, she had already become boring to him - the same one walks in front of him and didn’t get any better ... And he didn’t promise her anything, and the young ones are already on their way ... Those who were 15 years old yesterday - they are already 20 today, they are already also not averse to live without obligations. And he says, "You know, I went." She says, "Where did you go?" Well, he licked off all the cream, but he doesn’t want to eat anymore. She gave him beauty, she gave him youth, in the hope that, perhaps, something will come of it, she did not give birth to children, she lived the best years with him. Now she has already faded a little, the young ones have appeared on the horizon, he is “shmy” to the young ones! And she says: “I didn’t promise you anything, you didn’t promise me ... You look for yourself another, I’ll find another, goodbye!” A man can get into bed with an 18-year-old up to 50 years old every five years, if God gives him health. But the woman is not. It’s not that she won’t find anyone at 50, it’s already difficult for her at 30 to find someone, because 14-year-olds already live godlessly and already agree to everything. Therefore, these cohabitations without mutual obligations are the murder of a woman's destiny. ... Therefore, the woman here is a complete loser, she is simply used, and she, a fool, thinks that sooner or later she will be loved. Don't love her! If at first everything is good, then it will be good. And if at first everything is bad, then without obligations, this is how it all ends. In general, a woman is loved the longer, the longer they want. If a woman is sought and wanted for a long time, then, having achieved, they love for a very long time, this is a psychological law discovered a very long time ago. Why is grooming important? Why is some impregnability important, even feigned? …Because happiness will last longer! She will be with him and he with her longer, the longer he will want her and strive for her. And the accessibility of women kills women, turns them into consumables. Women’s accessibility, women’s permissiveness, women’s lack of any moral and state norms with a man, the shamelessness of modern Eva’s daughters, such replicated shamelessness, when a woman’s body is known to any pimply 12-year-old boy, this all kills a woman, kills interest in her, kills reverence for her , kills the mystery. This is civil cohabitation, prodigal cohabitation... But marriage is different! ...Which of you would turn your tongue to call fornicators a married couple who lived for 30 or 40 years together, raised children who lived to see grandchildren, but were not married because one of them was unbaptized, for example? Is he Jewish and she is Russian, or is he Russian and she is Jewish? So they lived together all their lives, like two parrots in a cage, and grandchildren have already appeared near them. Which of you will dare to call them fornicators because they are unmarried? Do not confuse, please, unmarried marriage and fornication! Fornication is fornication, and marriage is marriage. And an unmarried marriage is one marriage, and a married marriage is a second marriage. And get married seriously! And today, when people come: “I want to get married!”, then you need to seriously think about what to say to them. Maybe they don't need to be married? Maybe not everyone needs to get married? Maybe you need to get to know them first, get to know them? Because once, once, they got married, as they say: “I will baptize and anoint with the world,” and there, at least live, at least don’t live, you can’t get married! In our country, the number of divorces, even in the church environment, goes over 60%! Weddings don't hold people back! It used to be that people, like Pushkinskaya Tatyana, said: “Here I am given to another and I will be faithful to him for a century,” although she loved Onegin and her heart was also pounding when she saw him ... Masha Dubrovsky also says: “It’s too late, I’m married "! Today, a wedding will not be an obstacle for anyone in order to step over their conscience, leave, climb into adultery, jump into buckwheat, destroy one family, start another family ... Wedding does not keep people! Doesn't hold! Who among you does not know this? Weddings don't even keep priests, and priests get divorced! And mothers often cheat on priests, that our hairs stand on end - we know a lot of these stories! Nothing else holds people, people are mad! Therefore, the question is that not everyone needs to be married, some need to be driven away from the wedding! And with some for a long time to work to prepare them for the wedding. Archpriest Andrey Tkachev
This ceremony is filled with sacred mystery, it exists in order for the couple to be blessed by God, it shows the seriousness of intentions in marriage. Man was created in the image of God, therefore, mistakes and disobedience of the commandments are not forgiven, a crowned marriage is a sin for which one must bear responsibility both in heaven and on Earth.
Cheating after the wedding should be completely excluded. When people make such important decisions, it requires awareness that they will have to adhere to the canons at least - to be baptized, to listen to every advice of the priest, to truly want it, and not to act under compulsion. There is a belief among the people that says that a married couple is not destined to part, they will intersect, collide all their lives under any circumstances, no matter how they try to run away from each other.
Terminating the union is extremely difficult, for this you need a weighty reason, for example, unreasonable betrayal, which there is no strength to forgive. Everyone can make mistakes and make mistakes. As a rule, both are always to blame, desperation, indifference, constant indifference, misunderstanding can push to misconduct. You should always find out the reason, understand it to the end and, if possible, forgive.
If there were reasons to love a person, then you can always find good qualities in him, periodically make a difference, be a support, try to restore and discover all the most beautiful, bright, which used to be the defining features of falling in love. Even the most responsible spouses sometimes face obstacles, disagreements, temptations on the side.
The main thing is spiritual repentance, acceptance, awareness of guilt, attempts to make amends for it.
It is easier to destroy than to renew or build a new one, therefore, giving vent to emotions, statements, you need to stop in time and come to a single decision: to be or not to be together, to accept arguments for and against, to remember the wonderful moments of life together, to understand whether one mistake can cross out what has been acquired overwork.
Another question is, if a man lives with his family and regularly cheats, embarks on fornication, constantly breaks down, blames his relatives for everything, then there can be no question of forgiveness, a divorce may well take place. In any case, one cannot live with illusions. With the help of a wedding, try to strengthen what is not, and never was, what is alien will never attract, for someone it can be just a beautiful ceremony that does not bind to anything.
There should be no separation between marriages, there are faithful and unfaithful people, everything else is stupid excuses for your actions. You can’t live with grievances, with hatred in your heart, because this is also a huge sin, it’s better to forget, let go, go on different paths than try to hold on, take revenge, infringe on a person, thus, it hurts not only him, but also the injured party as well.
Forgiving is a gift of generosity, not granted to everyone, and sometimes forgiveness is a great stupidity, which will turn into bitter experience more than once, some wives or husbands are not able to change the pernicious image and take the right path of repentance, correction. It is hard to realize that marriage and betrayal are common things that become the daily norm.
Everyone is equal by nature, I have the right to choose my values, to arrange the path of life as I please, but if there is a family, then I have to bear responsibility for it, not to scatter close individuals, to listen, to take into account interests, and not to exist senselessly for the sake of satisfying animal instincts. The first rule of humanity: to carry out activities for the good, for the good, to make happier.
Based on the holy book, there comes an understanding that the human race cannot feel full happiness, being completely alone, support is definitely needed. Thus, Eve was recreated - the image of an ideal wife, a kind of addition to Adam. They were recreated for harmony, in fact, marriages are concluded for this.
Spouses are a single whole, a wife must be faithful, love only her husband, be a lover - humiliation, the purpose of the ladies is not to be entertainment or simply satisfy the needs of physiology, the essence is much deeper: to live, creating complete well-being, peace, complement each other, enjoy in full.
In the old days, adultery in a married marriage was impossible, as soon as the young came to church, the whole district knew that today a completely new story began for them, which would unite them for eternity, they could no longer be one without the other.
The main goal is the birth and upbringing of a new generation. The spiritual side of personal relationships, understanding is important; a wedding after infidelity is possible, if only being is completely rethought, an independent final choice is made.
A wife who cheated on her husband did not succumb to the selfless power of love, which means she is not able to stay in a family, free, non-binding ties are characteristic of this, cohabitation, alas, religion does not recognize this.
There are a lot of divorces in the modern world, therefore, a calm perception has become the norm, a married couple can easily divorce and after a certain period reproduce the ritual again with other contenders for the heart. The younger generation does not take marriage so seriously, and some churches crown everyone indiscriminately, they don’t attach much importance, some are inclined to the “wisdom” of saving a family by any means: “even if he lives, he cheats with me”, but is this approach correct?
You have to learn to solve problems, not live with them. Sooner or later, such a situation will exhaust, get bored, you will want peace, and not passions, a hectic life, and if there are children, then this will painfully settle on their psyche, perception and they will simply begin to take an example from their parents.
If you cheated on your husband, then it is easier to confess, forgive sin, leave in the past, because you can only aggravate the situation, others will be added to one mistake: betrayal, lies, deceit and much more. The atmosphere should be clean, sincere, laid-back, you should not surround yourself with a "swamp" immersion, into which it will become inevitable, as the people say: "on a thief and a hat is on fire."
Wedding or standard ceremony?
Many confine themselves to ordinary celebration, which is correct to some extent, but does not remove responsibility for certain impious deeds. Of course, betrayal after the wedding has serious consequences, you will have to take communion, repent, ask for forgiveness, suffer, and only in this way, it is possible to get the long-awaited pardon.
People come to church not because it is fashionable and beautiful, but only with a sincere desire to forever unite bodies and souls; learn to love, respect, perceive a spouse as he is, experience grief, joy together, be disappointed, make up for lost time, strive for complete harmony, find joint happiness, be together despite all obstacles and difficulties.
When making a decision, you need to rely not only on common sense, but also take into account contradictions, consciously approach the choice of a partner, be one hundred percent confident in him and in yourself, which, unfortunately, is an extremely rare case.
There is no need to rush, it is important to gain life experience, understand yourself, your own preferences, determine values in order to focus and make a worthy, final choice that will bring joy and happiness for the rest of your life.
The presence of betrayal in the relationship between a man and a woman testifies, first of all, to disrespect, neglect of each other, and after breaking a vow, church rules, inability to live according to the Laws of God.
I was married to my first husband in 1994, a year later we divorced him. I pray to God for forgiveness, the divorce from my first husband was my fault. Now I have a different family, we have been officially married for 8 years, we have not had children for a long time. And recently, as a blessing, we had a daughter. It is very tormenting to realize that this marriage is not blessed by the Church. Can something be done in my case? I understand that compromises are out of the question in matters of faith, but is there any hope? Olga doctor Georgievsk November 12, 2010 Dear Olga, Our Church allows the second and, in extreme cases, the third legal church marriage. The party responsible for the breakup of the family was assigned a penance for correction, so it would be reasonable for you to describe your situation at confession to the priest and do as he advises.
About why a married marriage can fall apart ...
Attention
I didn’t cheat anymore, I never beat my wife, I didn’t drink, everything was in the house! worked, got a dacha, began to spend a lot of time on the ground, all 5 years the wife sat with the child and did not work. She covered, fed, looked after. Then intimacy became different, my wife’s eyes changed. I became disgusted with her, she said we don’t have a family, we don’t talk at all, you sit at the computer especially in winter, the relationship got worse and worse. Then she packed her things, the child and left.
I started working. I thought she would go crazy and come back, I called her back. Now we haven’t lived together for 7 months, I see the child periodically, until I cheated on her, I give the money on time. nothing else, you are only the father of a child to me. I confessed my old sins.
The wedding marriage broke up, what about the new one?
Important
Currently, this list of grounds for dissolution of marriage is supplemented by such reasons as AIDS, medically certified chronic alcoholism or drug addiction, abortion by the wife with her husband's disagreement. In order to spiritually educate the spouses and help strengthen marital ties, priests are called upon to explain in detail to the bride and groom the idea of the indissolubility of the church marriage union in the conversation preceding the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage, emphasizing that divorce as an extreme measure can only take place if the spouses acts that are defined by the Church as grounds for divorce.
Consent to the dissolution of a church marriage cannot be given for the sake of whimsy or to "confirm" a civil divorce.
"Give your soul free will - it will want more." when marriage breaks up...
Without the consent of the wife or husband, unilaterally, permission to dissolve the marriage cannot be obtained. The blame for a broken marriage lies with both spouses, so in the petition you should pray for forgiveness.
In addition to the petition itself, it is necessary to write the history of your family relationships and the reasons that led to the breakup of the family. Copies of the divorce certificate and wedding certificate are attached to the petitions.
Based on both versions of events, the Archbishop will issue his resolution. After that, the confessor issues a document on the decision of the ruling bishop to the spouses in their hands.
This document is a confirmation of the termination of the marriage between spouses. The archbishop has the right to impose penance on one or both spouses.
Therefore, the request for a second marriage after the dissolution of the first will have to be postponed, sometimes for a very long time.
Marriage is an indestructible sacrament
Info
Priests advise in case the marriage cannot be saved, pray. Pray for the preservation of the family or for the Lord to direct your future life according to his All-good will.
However, a person is weak, and everything happens in life. Often they marry young, without thinking about this serious step properly, they get married at the insistence of their parents or for the sake of fashion, because the interior of the church is beautiful. Due to “our hardness of heart”, Moses was given the opportunity to terminate the blessed marriage, “…to divorce your wives” (Matthew 5:32, 19:8).
But even in this case, divorce and remarriage is accompanied by a number of conventions, including those of a legal nature.
If the marriage broke up, is it possible to get divorced
Can a divorce in some cases have a salutary value, for example, if it has received the blessing of a bishop who has conducted a certain investigation into the circumstances of the emerging rupture of marital relations? Or how to choose the lesser of two evils? What to do when the situation becomes, as they say, hopeless? In such cases, the Church maternally yields and is silent. The Council of the Russian Orthodox Church in 1917–18 laid the canonical grounds for divorce as an obstacle to the church upbringing of the children of one of the spouses. What other ecclesiastical grounds can there be for a church-canonical break in marital relations? The position of the Church, as can be seen from Orthodox Tradition, in cases where there is no proper ecclesiastical upbringing of children by one of the spouses, is this: the other spouse must show patience and faith and prayer bring an unbelieving spouse to Christ.
"Everybody! I'm leaving you!": 1638 weddings and 901 divorces
When a divorce is imminent at the insistence of one of the spouses, how to alleviate the emotional pain and suffering of the other spouse? Turning to Christ on the affected side will help them feel relieved and comforted. The closer we ourselves are to Christ, the more we live by Him experientially, we build relationships with God not as an abstract idea or philosophy, but as a living communion of two personalities; the greater the meaning and content of our life are given; we acquire self-knowledge, knowledge of the Divine Providence about us; we can love every person.
Fellowship with the humble and meek Jesus Christ (see Matt. 11:29) also makes us meek and humble, and then all our problems are solved, then our soul rests.
Parishioner.ru - Women's Orthodox Forum
The social concept of the ROC http://www.wco.ru/biblio/books/koncep1/Main.htm In 1918, the Local Council of the Russian Orthodox Church in the "Determination of the reasons for the termination of the marriage union, consecrated by the Church" recognized as such, except for adultery and the entry of one of the parties into a new marriage, also the falling away of a spouse from Orthodoxy, unnatural vices, inability to marital cohabitation that occurred before marriage or was the result of intentional self-mutilation, illness with leprosy or syphilis, a long obscure absence, condemnation to punishment combined with the deprivation of all property rights, encroachment on the life or health of a spouse or children, sophistication, pimping, profiting from the indecency of a spouse, incurable severe mental illness and malicious abandonment of one spouse by another.
Questions to the rector / church divorce
Such children have many spiritual wounds, which in most cases are hidden from prying eyes. If with our help these children will love God, I think that all their spiritual problems will be solved.
Love for God heals everything. Where there is no human comfort, there comes divine comfort. All psychological and other problems that a child of divorced parents may encounter in interpersonal relationships with other people are overcome and healed in Christ.
Father Ephraim, what is the share of spouses' responsibility for divorce when they get divorced without canonical church grounds? Responsibility is divided exactly in half. It is clear that they did wrong when they got divorced, but, be that as it may, little by little they must rediscover themselves from a church and social point of view.
This can be achieved with the help of a spiritual father. In addition, both parties should have the most sincere and with great love attitude towards the upbringing of children, while the spouse, who no longer lives with the children, should also take care of their food. Geronda, how to act in a situation where, for example, a husband lives his own life, his own interests, does not show proper concern either for the material well-being of the family, or for the spiritual and church upbringing of children? Under no circumstances should you despair.
Let's turn to our mother Church. From there we can draw real consolation.
If the marriage breaks up
Rubric: Family rubric. About why a married marriage can fall apart ... Good afternoon, our dear visitors! After all, they say that the Sacrament of the Wedding holds the marriage together forever. So why do married families break up? Because people approach the Sacrament of the Holy Wedding - as an old ancient rite, without seriousness and responsibility.
Oaths of allegiance are spoken like ordinary words, thoughtlessly and meaninglessly. Yes, and further family life passes in empty dreams and worries, in pursuit of the illusory and unprofitable.
Experienced priests advise first to check their feelings for seriousness, before such a responsible step as marriage.
Good afternoon, our dear visitors!
After all, they say that the Sacrament of the Wedding holds the marriage together forever. So why do married families break up?
Because people approach the Sacrament of the Holy Wedding - as an old ancient rite, without seriousness and responsibility. Oaths of allegiance are spoken like ordinary words, thoughtlessly and meaninglessly. Yes, and further family life passes in empty dreams and worries, in pursuit of the illusory and unprofitable.
Experienced priests advise first to check their feelings for seriousness, before such a responsible step as marriage. For example, before marriage, there should not be close intimate relationships, and if the bride or groom does not insist on intimacy, but patiently and consciously wait for the wedding, then this is a good and true indicator that young people are serious about each other and respect the decision of their chosen one.
Also, if your chosen one is a drinker before marriage, then the woman should be prepared for the fact that she will have to bear the cross, enduring and loving her drinking husband. In general, the holy fathers argue that if a husband is initially loved and respected by his wife, then he will not seek comfort and outlet in wine, because he has a loving, caring and understanding wife - a friend who is always there, who will never betray.
When people, entering into marriage, are ready to live with their chosen one all their lives, no matter what - then such a marriage, consecrated by the Sacrament of the Wedding, will never fall apart, since it is based not on sand, but on stone, and at the forefront of him is the Lord our God, Jesus Christ.
For what is the use of getting married if people do not want, do not have the desire to live a church life? Why utter terrible oaths of allegiance in vain? Is it not in order to subsequently violate them, and thereby incur the wrath of God?
It is very difficult and difficult to live in marriage without the help of God. For the Lord is Love, and people deprive themselves of Love, living without God.
It is never too late to return to God, like the prodigal son, and start our lives anew, from scratch, just as we start our lives anew, after the Sacrament of Confession, which cleanses us from sins and all filth.
Likewise, those families who, for some reason, did not consecrate their marriage with the Sacrament of the Wedding, should, without delay, start a new life for themselves, a life for God and for each other.
The Lord will never leave those who pray to Him and ask for His help. We just need to live according to the truth of God.
It is not worth waiting until the Lord calls us to Himself with sorrows and illnesses, we must ourselves go to Him, strive to live according to the Commandments of the Lord. Then we, sinners, will have hope that with God's help we will overcome any difficulties, and everything will be Glory to God!
The main thing to remember is that in order for us to always have everything Glory to God, we ourselves must, first of all, glorify God every day!