How to calm a crying baby: tips for mom. How to quickly calm a child during a tantrum: psychological methods How can you calm a child when he cries

The child, even during the period of being in the womb, establishes a strong emotional connection with the mother, which helps him to catch any change in her mood.

That is why the newborn is extremely sensitive to the mother's condition. A crying baby may become additionally nervous when he realizes that the mother is worried, confused, feeling helpless or annoyed.

Pediatricians strongly advise approaching a crying baby in an even mood. If this is not possible (not every woman can remain calm in such an environment), it is better to ask for help from a husband or other close relative who exudes confidence.

Unlike older children, a newborn will never scream unless absolutely necessary. Infant crying always has some reason, even if it does not lie on the surface.

The cries and tears of a baby should not be ignored. Contrary to some beliefs, such crying is not good for the lungs or temperament.

On the contrary, the incessant roar can shake the nervous system of the crumbs and undermine his confidence in the world around him. Another undesirable consequence of prolonged screaming is a hernia of the navel.

Before you figure out how to soothe a crying baby, you need to identify the source of children's tears. Experts identify several main reasons:

Initially, mothers still do not know how to establish by the nature of crying what exactly the little one wants. But after some time, different types of children's cry become distinguishable, since the volume, duration and intonation in each case will differ significantly from each other.

How to understand the cause of the screams?

Usually the child cries because he is hungry, feels pain with colic, or something (or someone) scared him. In such cases, the newborn will cry very loudly, angrily and without ceasing.

Certain characteristics and signs will help determine which of the above factors is worrying the baby at the moment.

A hungry baby cries quite loudly, intensely and for a long time. If you do not immediately approach him, then he will begin to choke. And after taking on the handles, he will immediately begin to look for the nipple.
If pain is the cause of a child's cry, then plaintive notes can be heard in it. If the pain syndrome is sudden or sharp, the child will cry loudly and very loudly.
Is fear the reason for crying? Then the baby screams hysterically, starting abruptly and ending just as suddenly. Usually, when he sees his mother and feels the warmth of her body, he quickly calms down.

In other situations, the child begins to call his parents with calling cries, that is, in this way he tries to draw their attention to his problem. The baby cries a little, then stops to assess the parent's reaction.

If the mother or father ignores the children's demands, then the cries will be repeated again and again at different time intervals. Usually the child does not calm down until the source of discomfort is removed.

If it is not yet possible to determine the cause by the nature of crying, trust the logical conclusions. With a well-established diet, you can already guess when the baby is hungry, and in what situations it just got bored.

The five-step system includes the following techniques, which are probably familiar to many mothers.

Tight swaddling. The child, “shackled” in the arms and legs, feels the same tightness as in the uterus. This helps to restore a sense of security to him and, therefore, calm him down.
"White noise". Many newborns fall asleep well under the monotonous hum of household units. Such sounds copy the noise of the working organs of the mother's body. You can turn on the hair dryer or hiss over the child's ear yourself.
Side position. Babies usually sleep better on their back, but they calm down faster on their side or tummy when their face looks down a little. You need to put the crumbs on your knees sideways, supporting the head.
Careful motion sickness. Lay the baby down so that his head rests on your palms and his face looks down. You need to shake the baby rhythmically, gently and not very sharply. This is reminiscent of the feeling that arose when the mother walked.
Sucking. Satisfying the sucking reflex is another effective technique. A newborn is given either a breast, or a pacifier, or even his clean finger.

Harvey Karp talks about how to soothe a baby under 3 months old, including in the video "Your Happy Baby". On the example of several babies, the author demonstrates the effectiveness of the five-step system.

How to calm a crying baby older than 3 months?

Karp's five-step technique really helps, but these techniques are already ineffective in relation to older children. To calm, for example, a 6-month-old baby, you need to distract him, and not swaddle, and use other methods.

Another useful tip is to make the environment of the children's room more comfortable. Some sensitive children get tired of bright lights or too many bright objects.

Calming baby before bed

Many mothers complain that it is extremely difficult to calm the baby before going to bed. The main reason for children crying in the evening is banal overwork.

Judge for yourself, during the day the child learns a lot of new information, meets with various acquaintances or strangers. There are many events, and the nervous system does not always cope with their processing.

If the baby screams and cries in the evenings for no apparent reason, most likely he is very tired. It is adults who can fall asleep from fatigue, while the child is overexcited and, on the contrary, refuses to fall asleep and cries.

If your child does not want to calm down before falling asleep in the evening, you should:

refuse excessive activity;
ventilate the room and bring moisture to optimal levels;
shake the child a little on the handles;
lay down and provide a pacifier.

Achieving sound sleep allows you to perform a certain sequence of actions. For example, a mother feeds a child, bathes in water at the optimum temperature, puts her in a crib, reads a book or sings a lullaby. Usually the baby quickly falls asleep after this ritual.

It is important to understand that the issue of calming the newborn needs to be addressed individually. For one child, motion sickness is suitable, for another - swaddling, the third is calmed only by dancing.

The task of parents is to study the preferences of their child and choose the most appropriate method. However, it should be remembered that the baby has the right to cry, thus protesting against various "inconveniences". Well, mom needs to be there, showing her love.

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How to calm a small child? This topic worries many young mothers, it is often difficult to understand the reason for crying, whims. There are several approaches to parenting and understanding children. In the article, we will consider how to calm a child, extinguish a tantrum.

The behavior of children depends on age, there are transitional stages, crises. At the same time, children's tears, screams are very annoying to parents, who often do not understand how to react correctly, especially when they are in public places.

So how do you calm a child down? Let's start with an important question. Consider in the age period.

Newborn babies. How to calm a small child?

Babies often cry and haunt their mothers.

The main causes are physical discomfort:

hunger, thirst;
wet diaper, diapers;
uncomfortable clothing;
too hot or cold;
digestive problems (gas, colic);
the presence of irritation, diaper rash;
tooth growth (pain, temperature).

Emotional reasons:

fatigue;
fear;
loneliness;
need for affection, attention;
need for protection and security.

So how do you calm a crying baby? Of course, babies have a lot of reasons for concern. They have to adapt to the conditions of life outside the mother's body, which requires effort. Often there is not enough comfort, safety, and they also suffer from colic, the head may hurt if there is increased intracranial pressure.

How to be?

First of all, check the basic needs - hunger, dryness - offer to drink, stroke the tummy clockwise, anoint diaper rash if available. Is it hot or cold in the room perhaps? Help the baby with clothes, because he himself cannot yet regulate this process, he says crying. With the growth of teeth - gum massage is useful, a special ointment to reduce pain. It is also useful to hold the baby upright so that the air that is swallowed when crying or with food leaves.

How to quickly calm a child if physical causes are not found? It is very important for children to feel the love and care of their mother - a calm voice, hugs, tactile contact, swaying also soothe. Toddlers may love calm music or songs sung by their beloved mother. It is useful to wear babies in a sling when age already allows - this ensures safety, contact with the mother, the ability to hear her breathing, heart.

If there are no obvious reasons for concern, then perhaps the attention of the mother is needed.

Show a bright toy or object, play, improvisations will help distract the baby from experiences. Often children are calmed by walks - a lot of new experiences, they observe and listen to the world around them with interest, they often fall asleep on the street.

How to calm a small child yet? Water has a calming effect, you can wash the baby, help return to a cheerful state. Distracting maneuvers work great: "What is there on the street? Let's look out the window! And who do we have in the mirror?" Try what suits you best. Someone likes ringing objects, someone responds well to the sound of water, similar to the sounds of the prenatal period of life.

Games with objects can also work, children are very inquisitive, open to learning about the world. Any thing in motion can attract attention, especially the bright one. They also notice the game with intonations, poems, songs. Indoor plants and items on the shelves are also the passion of many children, over time they will be happy to put things in order in the lockers, "read the books of their parents."

Thus, there are so many options for how to calm a small child. It all depends on the imagination, ingenuity of the parents. Sometimes cartoons help, but this is the last method. Why spoil your eyesight from an early age, it is better to use soothing music. It is noticed that Mozart's music calms children, and also contributes to the development of memory and intelligence. Now we can lay the foundation for the perception of music and art. There are many beautiful melodic compositions.

At the same time, we remember that health is above all.

It is useful to go to regular check-ups with doctors and consult on important issues. So, frequent awakenings at night, poor sleep or insecure sitting can be manifestations of developmental delays, disorders of the nervous system. To strengthen the muscles, massage is often advised, and for better development, special preparations and courses of treatment are recommended.

Poor sleep may be associated with intracranial pressure, ask your doctor, get tested if necessary. A soothing tea for children may help as a preparation for rest or during times of anxiety. However, for use, it is worth checking with the pediatrician - dosages, names.

How to calm a child before bed?

Relaxing bath - warm water soothes babies.
Calm music - soothing music for children before going to bed will help to relax, get ready for sleep.
Singing, reading - lullabies, reading fairy tales - a means of soothing, known to our grandmothers, helped before and is relevant now.
Breastfeeding - The calming reflex during feeding often helps babies fall asleep.
Quiet communication - in the evening we reduce active games, move on to calm, quiet ones.
Dim light - the sun sets, the light dims, evening comes ...

It is important to develop your own ritual so that a reflex arises - night comes, it's time to sleep. Some mothers sing before going to bed, others read books. You can, of course, teach your baby to sleep next to you, but it's better - in your own crib. So it will be easier for parents in the future. It's pretty hard to unlearn.

So how do you calm a newborn baby?

There are many ways, the main thing is to understand the cause of anxiety. American pediatrician Harvey Karp developed his own method of calming children based on reflexes. Try:

Swaddle - swaddling provides security, as in the period before birth, when it was also tight, but secure. It is not necessary to swaddle all the time, it is possible before rest or during periods of anxiety.
Lay on its side - the baby can lie on its side or stomach in the arms of its mother, so a state of peace and a sense of security come.
Provide noise - many babies are soothed by the buzzing of a washing machine or other household appliances, reminiscent of the beating of a mother's heart. You can even try to buzz or hiss on your own.
Rocking is a method that has been known for a long time, the main thing is that you don’t need to shake the baby hard, just small rocking of the head in the mother’s palm is enough. It also reminds of the past period of life, after all, the mother was in motion, the baby felt swaying.
Sucking reflex - breastfeeding, a nipple or bottle before rest helps to calm the baby.

How to calm a small child? The main idea in all approaches is that the baby needs care, love, and safety. Do not be afraid to spoil, because the baby is still very small, needs mother's love. It is better to pick up and speak affectionate words more often, then you will not need to cry to attract attention.

Children's tantrums in a year, how to calm a child?

As they grow older, tantrums and screaming become not a way to solve the problem, but rather a manipulation to attract attention, get toys, sweets. At 1-2 years old, it is necessary to learn how to solve life problems without screaming, otherwise it will be difficult for the child and parents in the future.

Children's hysteria, Komarovsky and pediatricians pay great attention to the study of whims, tantrums of children after a year. It is very difficult to go to the store with a capricious baby, to be in society, realizing that an explosion, disobedience is possible at any moment. How to deal with children's tantrums?

We offer Dr. Komarovsky's advice on how to deal with children's tantrums

Try to keep calm- do not go on about, if something requires, let him learn to calmly express thoughts, accept the opinion of his parents. Parents are the main ones in the family. Controlling adults with tantrums is a popular method for children.
Unity of opinion- you can’t allow different reactions, if mom forbids, then dad and grandmother support. In another case, constant difficulties in upbringing cannot be avoided, double standards will not allow the formation of clear rules of behavior, requirements for the child.
Renunciation of violence- Punishments, screams do not help in resolving the situation of disobedience. The main thing is understanding, parents come to the rescue when you speak calmly, and do not shout. This reflex is developed within two days. You need to approach the baby after the cry stops, calmly communicate. With strong self-will, it is permissible to leave the baby alone to calm down, however, control, help when he calms down. As a last resort, with a serious fault - put in a corner to think "about the meaning of life", the rules of conduct.
Single line of conduct- it is important to adhere to the same behavior. If the baby screams in a store or a public place, you should not follow the lead - buy something unnecessarily, appease. We are waiting for the surge of emotions to pass, we take the tomboy. Children test their parents until they understand - it's useless.
Understand the reason for tantrums- To reduce negative behavior, it is important to understand the baby. Perhaps he lacks the attention of parents, communicate more when in a calm state, in a good mood. The instability of the nervous system, the psyche is manifested in unbalanced behavior. The best solution is a personal example. You can endlessly talk about how to behave, but it’s more effective to show a way to solve everything calmly.

Often the reason for a child's tantrums is a lack of understanding, rejection of his interests by his parents.

It is important to love, care, but also give freedom for self-expression, gaining confidence. Excessive pampering, guardianship do not benefit. We need clear rules about what is possible and impossible, what is good and what is bad. If the boundaries are washed away, then children have a desire to bend the scales in their direction.

There are other reasons for tantrums - fatigue, lack of sleep, hunger, emotional overload, a weakened state during illness, imitation, a desire to show independence, get out of care, declare aspirations, get what you need, protest from interrupting an important business.

How to calm a child during a tantrum? Initially, it is worth understanding why the baby is screaming. Calmly explaining is not a way to solve a problem, to help when you calm down. You can console, hug, but not allow to manipulate.

How to calm a small child? It all depends on the cause of the tantrum. If overload, fatigue - help to relax, feed, switch attention. If you want to get the forbidden - do not follow the lead, take a wait-and-see attitude. Calmly explain why you can't buy or do whatever you want. It is useful to coordinate actions in the family, for unity of opinion, approach to education.

Childish whims and stubbornness

The older the child, the more character, stubbornness is manifested. Why is the child not listening? parents often think. We always strive to understand, to meet halfway, we care, but children do not understand our aspirations. What is the reason?

Determine the cause of disobedience- the commanding tone of the parents, ignoring his interests, there are no clear rules for upbringing, they do not understand the instructions of the parents or the desire to get what they want with the help of whims, disobedience.
Engage in education from an early age- at one year old, it is easier to teach a baby to normal behavior than at 5-7 years old, when the peak of disobedience begins. The child grows up, shows self-will.
Trust communication- for obedience it is important to recognize the authority of adults. They have more experience, they are able to help in life. It is useful to share thoughts, ideas, discuss difficult situations together, look for solutions.
special treatment- children are more pleasant when the appeal is targeted, and not a cry. It is better to approach, hug and express a thought, a proposal to the child, so that he feels love, care. Nobody likes rudeness.
Eye contact- when addressing, it is useful to look into the eyes, showing trust, openness. Ready to understand, accept it, discuss any complexity.
Be grateful- if the baby has completed the task, it is useful to thank, emphasize the importance of actions. A simple "thank you" is always nice to hear.
Obedience- safety - sometimes you need a quick reaction, like in a fire. The child needs to know, understand - obedience and compliance with strict safety rules can save a life. This is a necessity, not a whim of the parents.
Consider the opinion of the child It is important for children to feel that their interests are respected. Parents can give the opportunity to choose for the manifestation of independence, offering several possible options for food, clothing. The baby is also a person.
Establish friendly relations- confrontation will not lead to good results, and trust and the ability to negotiate are the way out for the formation of mutual understanding.
Clear rules of education- define uniform requirements in the family, do not violate anyone, so that the baby understands what is possible and what is not.

Childish stubbornness is normal for children over two years old.

The baby is growing, showing independence, rather, the absence of such reactions should be alarming. Children are too obedient, submissive, have a weak nervous system, are not adapted to life in society, adapt with difficulty in a team, cannot be independent, constantly depend on someone else's opinion.

How to calm a small child if he does not obey? Understand the reason for disobedience, establish contact, build trust, give more freedom, emphasize importance, but comply with the requirements. Do not forget to explain the requirements, for older children it is important to understand why it is more correct to do this and not otherwise.

The child does not obey, tantrums are frequent manifestations

The root of the difficulties in upbringing after a year is the reflex of manipulating a cry, it takes a long time to eradicate a bad habit. It is better to stop the desire to arrange a "circus" in time.
A child is a future member of society, and normal communication will allow him to be successful and independent. Hysterical behavior is not welcome in communication, although it is often observed among adults. Cause? Childhood, upbringing.

The article looked at how to calm a small child in infancy, after a year and five years. Every age has its own reasons for crying. The main thing is to understand and love children. There is always a way out and a solution. Many parents go through difficult times in parenting. The advice of teachers and psychologists will help you successfully overcome all crises, raise wonderful children.

Adults use words and facial expressions to express their emotions, but a baby that has just been born does not yet know how to talk and can announce any changes in its condition by screaming or crying. Mom must learn to understand by the nature of the "sound signals" what worries her baby, and help him cope with an unpleasant situation. Today, the site for moms, the site will give some useful recommendations on how to calm a newborn baby, based on the cause of his anxiety.

How to proceed first?

As soon as the baby began to whimper, the mother should clearly know what to do in this situation:

Take it easy. Experienced mothers of many children can easily cope with this task, but if you have your first child, you will have to quickly learn to pull yourself together. This is not always easy, because some children cry all the time, and this condition exhausts both the child and everyone around him. If there is a husband or other family members nearby, give the baby temporarily into their hands, leave the room and catch your breath. Have you calmed down? Now your task is to help the baby return to a calm state.
Find out the reason for crying. There can be quite a few factors that cause dissatisfaction with the baby. They must be eliminated in stages, one by one, until you get to the cause, which has become an irritant for the child.
Eliminate the cause of concern. If you learn to recognize the condition of the baby by the nature of his behavior and crying, you will find a couple of universal ways to calm the baby.

Never disregard any manifestation of anxiety on the part of the baby, hoping that "maybe he will calm down." Infants do not cry and do not scream from scratch: such a manifestation of emotions signals the presence of discomfort - hunger, heat, wet diapers, pain, etc. You, as a parent, are obliged to understand your child, no matter how difficult it may seem at first.

Causes of anxiety in newborns

There are several main reasons why infants behave restlessly:

Hunger.
Air has accumulated in the tummy.
Overfilled diaper or wet diaper.
Hypothermia or overheating.
Discomfort from wrinkles in clothes and diapers.
Colic.
Overexcitement or overwork.
Feeling of fear.
Pain caused by disease or vaccination.

As you can see, the crumbs have enough reasons to be worried.

How to soothe the baby?

And now on the site, we will analyze each of the reasons in order and find out how to eliminate them.

The child may get hungry. Our Soviet-style grandmothers will say that a child needs to be breastfed after a certain period of time, but modern pediatricians recommend feeding a newborn at his first request. If the baby suddenly whimpered, perhaps he just wants to eat. In this case, give him the breast, while making sure that he takes it correctly. All children at the age of 1 month constantly need maternal warmth and attention, so the nipple is a kind of way to understand that mom is nearby. Even if the child at this moment is not very hungry.
After feeding, the child swallows part of the air with milk. And if he does not spit it up in time, this can be a cause for concern. So, how to calm a crying month-old baby in this case? After you have fed your baby, take him upright in your arms with his chin on your shoulder and lightly tap him on the back. The air will come out and the child will immediately calm down.
Discomfort from feeling damp. The diaper should be changed every 4 hours and after each bowel movement. Diapers will have to be changed several times more often, so as soon as you hear that the baby is grunting, check if he is wet.
He is stuffy or cold. Overheating is harmful to the newborn in the same way as hypothermia, due to the immaturity of the heat exchange system. Therefore, check if his room is not too stuffy or cool, and also if he has a lot of clothes on. Do not dress your child in synthetic clothing and air out the room more often.
Buttons on clothes or creases in diapers can cause discomfort to the baby. Use only soft diapers made from natural materials and without pilling, and for children under 1 month old, wear vests without buttons. Change your baby's clothes and swaddle and rock him a little to calm him down. Sometimes, swaddling with handles can help subdue even the most active screamers: the snug fit of the fabric is associated with tightness in the womb.
The child is overexcited and does not want to sleep. This happens when there are guests at home. The emotions received by the child during communication do not allow him to sleep peacefully, and whims may begin.

Bathing before going to bed, light massage, rocking in the crib or stroller, evening walk, chest at night, a pacifier, a pleasant melody or a pleasant monotonous sound, hissing, rocking, a lullaby, a mobile above the crib with funny little animals and pleasant music - ways to soothe before sleep of an infant, mass. The same methods can be applied when the baby is overworked, when daytime sleep was not enough. And in order to prevent repeated whims of the baby at night, it is necessary to establish a daily routine.

Sometimes babies left alone in the room can get scared. Usually this happens when the mother, having safely put the baby to sleep, goes to do household chores. The child, waking up and finding no one nearby, begins to worry. To prevent whimpering from turning into screaming and crying, you should quickly return to the room and shake the crib or take the baby in your arms. Especially in this need small children up to 1 month.

And a couple more helpful tips. Babies from birth to 3 months calm down faster from techniques that remind them of intrauterine life: sucking, rocking, hissing, laying on their side in the fetal position and swaddling. And starting from three months, babies are already able to switch their attention from one object to another and look at it for a long time. Colored paper, balloons, rattles, bright pictures in a book will help him distract himself, and soon he will forget why he started this whole concert.

How to help a child with colic?

Colic is the most common cause of intense hysterical crying, when the child characteristically draws his legs, and his tummy becomes hard and swollen. Usually observed daily in the evening, and many mothers spread their arms, not knowing how to calm a month-old baby. There are several proven ways to reduce the pain caused by the immaturity of the GI tract of a newborn:

Lay it on your back and with closed fingers, gently, controlling the force of pressure, begin to massage the tummy clockwise, avoiding the liver and navel.
Warm a clean diaper or blanket on the batteries and attach the warm side to the tummy.
Put your baby in a sling, baring your stomach and him, and walk around the room, singing a lullaby. You can hiss softly next to a month old baby's ear - this is a little unusual, but this approach can remind him of the sounds of the mother's blood flow and breathing when he was still in her stomach.

If no conservative methods have helped, and you do not know how to calm and lull a newborn baby, you can seek help from a pediatrician who will prescribe drugs that are safe for the baby from excessive gas formation: Espumizan in the form of a suspension, Plantex or fennel-based tea.

And you should definitely reconsider your diet: it is possible that the child reacts to certain foods that are best excluded for a while.

How to calm the baby if he is sick?

If the above reasons are excluded one after another, but the crying does not stop, you should pay attention to whether there are any additional symptoms indicating the onset of the disease: fever, inflamed mucous membranes, rash on the face or body. There are three things that most often cause concern:

Cutting teeth. The pain in the gums can be relieved by a cooled soft gel ring, as well as special painkillers to relieve itching, which are allowed at this age: Calgel or Dentinox-N. It is necessary to wrap a clean finger with sterile gauze and apply a little on the inflamed gums.
Hysterical incessant crying is characteristic of otitis media, when the remnants of breast milk or mixture enter the ear canals and cause inflammation in the ear. The pain in this case is so severe that small children refuse to breastfeed, because. the process of sucking causes them an attack of pain. Try pressing your finger on the tragus: if the child jerked his head back and screamed, this is a serious reason to urgently see a doctor. To relieve pain, Nurofen children's syrup can be given according to the dosage indicated on the package.
The period after vaccination is often accompanied by pain, hyperemia and swelling can be observed at the injection site, which affects the well-being of the infant. To help him cope with the pain, you can give him Nurofen and Fenistil antihistamine drops the day before the vaccination and the day after it.

Remember, all drugs and doses are prescribed strictly by a pediatrician: independence in these matters is not welcome.

Often mothers, in despair that they cannot cope with daily children's tantrums, begin to look for the cause in themselves. You don’t need to do this: sooner or later you will definitely learn to understand your baby.

Children can get into a state of psychological arousal, so all parents should know how to calm a child during a tantrum. During such periods, babies lose their self-control, begin to scream, cry, bite, fight in mental fits. Adults need to determine the causes of such an excited state, and know how to neutralize it.

A parent cannot always satisfy the desires of a child when he is already beginning to understand the world around him, attract attention to himself, and also annoy adults. There are several reasons for such a nervous state:

It is important to understand how to calm the baby when he has such attacks. If you react incorrectly to such moments, then the child throws tantrums every day for a long time.

How to understand a child who is not yet able to speak?

All novice parents regret that the instruction in the manufacturer's language is not attached to the newborn.

In fact, crying is a kind of language of communication between the baby and the world, because it can be very diverse. Over time, each parent begins to distinguish the intonations with which the baby tries to convey information about what is bothering him. But even if this is a problem, the very presence of crying already says a lot.

When breastfeeding, the baby always responds well to feeding if everything is in order. If he cries and refuses to eat, something definitely hurts him. Maybe it's stomach cramps.

If the cry slowly increases from quiet to loud and demanding, the baby is probably hungry. And if mom also disappeared somewhere, then crying takes on intonations of resentment and despair.

If the crying is not too active, but restless, this usually indicates discomfort. You may need a diaper change. In fact, a baby can scream without a good reason, simply because he is bored, but then it’s not crying, but a cry, usually intermittent and loud, like a call to pay attention to him.

Over time, the little one learns to let his parents know what he needs, so in a few months any mother will become an expert in the types of children's screams, cries that express the whole gamut of human feelings and will know exactly how to calm a newborn baby during a tantrum..

Well, a one-year-old baby is already on the verge of learning the language of his parents.

How is hysteria different from whims

It is important to understand the difference between an excited state and children's whims. In the latter case, the baby is trying to get the forbidden or desired. This leads to the fact that he starts screaming, stomping his feet. That is, he deliberately annoys parents.

But hysteria is involuntary behavior. Children are not able to control their emotions and physical manifestations. There may be convulsions that need to be urgently stopped.

Stages of nervous excitement

Experts note three stages of seizures. It is important to note that ignoring the child can lead to the termination of the excited state.

It should be noted that the causes and condition of the child during a tantrum may differ, it all depends on the type of nervous system.

Hysteria at 2 years of age

Since the baby's emotional system is still underdeveloped, hysterical behavior is the norm, experts say. At this age, the little one already understands the meaning of the words “no”, “no”, “I don’t want to”. With hysterics, he expresses his dissatisfaction with the rules or requests of his parents.

Some parents fulfill all the requirements of the child to calm him down, others ignore, and still others use physical force. To avoid negative consequences, it is necessary to know which reaction is correct.

If it was not possible to stop the attack at the initial stage, you should not scold the baby, and even more so beat, as this will lead to greater excitement. With regular concessions, the little one will quickly learn that adults will always comply with his demands if he starts crying, and will use such methods on a regular basis.

But hitting children in such a state is also impossible. The best option is to ignore the hysterical behavior. The child will understand that his cries and crying do not lead to the desired effect.

During such periods, it is best to hug the baby, say a few gentle words. It is necessary to make him understand that it is impossible and impossible to manipulate adults.

In public places, children try to attract strangers with their behavior so that mom and dad make concessions to him. But it is not recommended to succumb to provocations, otherwise he will always demand to buy the thing he likes. You should not pay attention to the sidelong glances of outsiders who may condemn you and your baby's behavior.

It is enough to wait a little while the little one calms down, after which, calmly talk to him, be sure to find out the cause of the tantrum. This reaction allows you to achieve the desired result.

Nervous state at 3 years of age

At this age, the child's nervous behavior is pronounced. He begins to understand the world around him and learns to express his stubbornness. Experts note that during this period, the baby begins a crisis, and behavior can change every few hours.

The child is trying to anger adults and get away from all compromises. He wants to show his independence. This behavior takes new parents by surprise.

Psychologists say that you do not need to scold the baby so as not to focus his attention on bad moments. The best thing to do is switch his attention. But at the peak of hysterical behavior, this approach is ineffective, since the children's emotions are no longer controlled.

At home, it is recommended to endure screams for a while until the baby calms down, then talk to him, find out the reasons for this behavior. In public places, it is better to take him to where there are fewer people. This will lead to the fact that a small person will be less likely to experience nervous excitement.

Hysteria at 4 years of age

If children continue to scream and cry regularly, then parents should be wary, as this may be the result of improper upbringing. This is how spoiled children often behave - they can be distinguished by the tantrums that accompany any refusal and prohibition. For example, you told your son or daughter that it's time to turn off the cartoons. A well-bred child at this age will protest with words, try to negotiate, and a hysterical one will immediately burst into tears, smashing furniture and walls, screaming. He must understand what is allowed and what is forbidden, otherwise he will achieve what he wants with tears.

Psychologists note that it is required to consult a specialist, with pronounced symptoms:

frequent bouts of arousal at the psychological level;
aggressiveness;
intermittent breathing;
loss of consciousness;
begins to cause physical damage to people around;
older children are susceptible to hysterics;
the appearance of nightmares;
chronic fatigue and lethargy;

Neurologists, psychologists will help to cope with such a disease and improve family relationships. To avoid such consequences, it is necessary to take seriously the upbringing of the baby from a young age.

How to calm a child

Initially, adults must decide on the cause, which depends on many factors. During an attack, certain measures must be taken.

The main way out of the situation is the correct response to mental arousal. If the seizures do not go away for a long time, then you should definitely seek medical help.

Parents share experiences

Violet

“We had problems in the family when our second daughter was born. The eldest daughter was two years old, and I have huge to-do lists, plus a nursing baby in my arms. At first she was interested, but then she began to get nervous and throw tantrums over trifles, sometimes for no reason at all. I didn’t even think that such small children could be jealous. I had to take immediate action. For example, I feed the younger one, while I plant the older one nearby. I started talking to her actively, explaining that the baby is very small, she needs our help. As a result, she received an assistant in the face of her eldest daughter, who will give a diaper and a towel, and informs when the baby wakes up. I try to tell the eldest more often how she helps me, my daughter immediately blooms and calms down.

Mom Elena

“I have a problem with dressing. Now my son is in his second year, but we do not like to dress from birth. I tried to stop to play and then continue to dress - it only gets worse. Now I try to do everything quickly, through “I don’t want to”, and then go out into the street. And already there, either he himself is distracted, or I occupy him with something.

Adele

“My daughter is 3.5 years old. One day she woke up in the middle of the night in hysterics. Apparently something had a dream, but at first I was afraid that something hurt her. She sobbed terribly. I rushed to feel sorry for her, to reassure her, I understand that the child is hysterical, but I don’t know what to do. She took me to bed. Then she barely returned. She liked being with me, and as soon as I start to shift it, tears begin. And so for two weeks I struggled with her desire to sleep with me. I sat near her bed and explained that the children should sleep separately, that I love her and do not leave her.

Victoria Fedorova, a child psychologist, shares tips on how to deal with whims and tantrums, and how to comfort a baby when it hurts.

First of all, parents should understand that tantrums are an integral part of growing up a little person, no matter how hard you try, they cannot be completely avoided. If a child is hysterical, there is no need to make a tragedy out of this: an excess of emotions is simply obliged to find a way out.

A whim is a desire to get what adults do not consider it necessary to give him.From the point of view of the parent, the subject of the conflict can be harmful, unnecessary, dangerous, distracting, uncomfortable, untimely, and the like.

But you need to understand that if today you forbade your son or daughter some trifle, and then after screaming and crying you allowed it, then you will continue to receive the same thing incrementally. Only next time he may need something really impossible, and the conflict that you get will, like circles on the water, become more and more. The logic that the child argues will suggest that since you still have not agreed, it means that he is not yet loudly and actively crying and rolling on the floor.Therefore, all parents should remember that the main thing in their behavior is the sequence of actions.

As Dr. Komarovsky said: "If something is impossible today, then it is impossible tomorrow, and with mom, and dad, and grandma."It is important to have a dialogue with children, to discuss what is possible, what is not and why, to explain their actions.Maybe we should not ban something that is not important for adults, but the structure of the bans should be transparent and understandable. When he is clearly aware that whims will not bring the desired result, then he will not start.

When a child is in pain, there is no time for an educational moment. It is necessary to take all measures to reduce pain to a minimum, and then tightly engage in his consciousness.

If the pain is not too long-term, for example, the little one scratched his knee, and you treated the wound, take pity on the baby, let him know that you love him very much. Talk a lot and interestingly, because this is how you divert his attention, and he stops listening to sensations. It would be nice to find an interesting joint activity, in order to be distracted, if possible, you need to fill in the visual range of the child: read a picture book, you can draw, play quiet games, cartoons are also suitable, many children love music. Do something with him that interests him. This is the case when you need to show maximum attention and participation.

If the child is worried about long-term pain, then the same thing should be done, but alternately (if the causes of pain cannot be temporarily eliminated). The presence and participation of loved ones is very important for babies at any age.

Babies also suffer from pain, such as abdominal cramps. Usually during this period, the baby is carried in their arms and warmed with living warmth, pumped, worn in slings.

Prevention

Absolutely all parents face nervous attacks of their children. To avoid negative consequences, you need to know how to stop a tantrum in a child and take preventive measures.

This is a difficult task for all parents. The main thing is to keep calm. If the psyche can no longer stand it, then you need to take a deep breath, and go out for a few minutes in order to lose the baby from sight. After an attack, you need to behave naturally, and not show him that he behaved badly. After a couple of weeks of such preventive measures, the attacks should be reduced.

If nothing helps to achieve a positive effect, then it is recommended to contact the clinic, where they will conduct a professional examination, thanks to which, specialists will determine the cause and help solve problems. Sometimes medication is required.

Folk remedies

It is important to note that only a doctor can prescribe treatment, but he may recommend taking natural sedatives. They are herbal based. Fees help to deal with the problem for a while. In addition, such methods are recommended by specialists for children with an excited nervous system. The prepared products are light, so they will not harm the health of the baby.

It is recommended to consult a medical professional as children may have allergic reactions to certain herbs. Also, certain fees are contraindicated in certain diseases. This must be taken into account and not self-medicate. Below you can find recipes for remedies that are given as examples. The necessary herbs are sold at any pharmacy kiosk.

Herbal tea for young children. It is necessary to make a collection of wheatgrass, marshmallow, chamomile and licorice, fennel in the ratio: 2:1:2:2:1. Pour 2 tablespoons of the collection with 1 cup of boiling water, then boil over high heat for about 20 minutes. The infusion must be filtered. Take the remedy in a warm form, three times a day before meals. The duration of the course is about 3 weeks. The product can be used at the age of more than 1 year, without allergies to herbs.
In the same dosage, motherwort infusion is allowed.
If the infant begins to behave irritably, then it should be bathed in a bath with the addition of coniferous extract. The course of therapy lasts 3 weeks.
Without the appointment of a pediatrician and other doctors, it is allowed to take homeopathic preparations or which include the amino acids of glycine.
As prescribed by the doctor, it is recommended to give the baby vitamin complexes, the dose of which must be strictly observed. Otherwise, it can lead to hypervitaminosis. Its consequences also negatively affect the condition of the baby.

It is important to understand that when taking any medicinal and natural remedies, it is required to observe the duration of the course. Stronger funds should not be given to the child on their own, otherwise it can lead to serious consequences.

Hysteria in a child is normal, but with frequent attacks, you need to be alert. The reason may be improper upbringing of children, violation of the daily routine, as well as some diseases. If you can’t deal with such a problem on your own, you don’t need to let it take its course. It is necessary to immediately contact a children's specialist who will help establish family relationships.

- a state of peak excitement in a child, which is expressed in the loss of full control over their emotions and partially - actions (ways of expressing emotions). The classic example of a child's tantrum is a loud scream, crying, turning into a squeal, which may be accompanied by falls, rolling on the floor, or destructive reactions. Sometimes a desire for self-harm is revealed: children bite themselves, start hitting themselves on the head, etc.

Being in such a state, the child is closed to habitual communication with him: he is not able to adequately perceive the speech addressed to him.

Children's hysteria can be both a conscious reaction-manipulation and a poorly realized phenomenon. In the first case, we are talking about a developed habit of controlling the behavior of adults, and in the second, about an acute reaction to some external event. Let's figure out what it is and how to calm a child during a tantrum psychologically competently, without harming him.

It is natural that as children grow up, individual interests and needs appear, which often diverge from the desires of adults. And if the child cannot get what he wants, then it is likely that his discontent can find an outlet in a hysterical reaction.

The hysterical reaction is an ancient way of responding to an unsafe situation that is also found in the animal kingdom. For example, an animal trapped in a net starts to thrash about until it is exhausted or randomly frees itself from the trap.

So, a child’s tantrum is a way of responding to a difficult, incomprehensible or dangerous situation for his well-being, when he has no other “tools” to overcome what is happening.

Here are the main reasons for the appearance of tantrums:

inability to express their dissatisfaction in words;
desire to attract attention;
trying to achieve something.

Other reasons include:

authoritarian parenting style, in which the child does not have a "voice";
conniving parenting style, when parents do not react in any way to the misconduct and achievements of the child;
the distortion in the system of "carrots and sticks", the obvious inadequacy of educational measures;
general weakness of the nervous system;
fatigue, hunger;
post-infectious hysterical reactions as a result of exhaustion of the child's body.

Often, when faced with such behavior of a child, parents want only one thing - for all this to end quickly, and many lose sight of the fact that it depends on the reaction of adults whether these attacks will become more frequent or sink into oblivion.

So, how to deal with such incidents? First, it is necessary to clearly distinguish between ordinary childhood whims and a full-fledged hysterical attack. Whims, although they can take the form of tantrums, are always deliberately used by children in order to circumvent any prohibitions of adults, or to get something that is missing "here and now." There is an important digression here - with tantrums, whims, children do not harm themselves.

But full-fledged hysterical attacks, as a rule, are involuntary, although they are manipulative in nature. They come in a situation where the child loses control over the emotions that have overwhelmed him. The attack is accompanied by screams breaking into a screech, often by scratching the hands and face, sometimes by beating the head against something. In situations where it is already a question of suspicion of a pathological condition, the so-called hysterical arc can be detected, which is described in the article on hysterical personality disorder.

It is important to understand that hysteria is an extremely violent emotional reaction, in which the child has almost no control over his actions and all the phenomena associated with it (aggression, irritability, attempts to break something, blows and self-harm) are involuntary.

By the way, in this state, children are able to greatly harm themselves, since the pain threshold usually rises. Another feature of tantrums is their rapid extinction in the absence of the expected reaction from adults.

Managing children's tantrums

How to calm a child with a tantrum? This is a key question for most parents, but before answering it, it is necessary to trace the "history" of the development of such behavior. The first full-fledged hysterical reactions in children develop after the first year of life, and the peak period falls on the age of 3 ± 0.5 years. The crisis of three years is a period of development of independence (“I myself”) and opposing oneself to parents.

During this period, some children may have hysterical attacks several times a day, although this will be a reason to think about the mental well-being of the child. This is the period when hysterical reactions can become a powerful tool for the child in terms of achieving goals.

As a rule, a tantrum does not come suddenly - it is preceded by a period of frowning, silent discontent and whimpering. In principle, during this period, you can try to distract the child from his condition with something interesting (trying not to indulge) in order to prevent a tantrum.

All children have their own interests - someone will be reassured by a colorful book, someone's favorite toy. Yes, and a simple conversation with a child or a simple request can bring him back to normal. Various ways to distract the child are effective when the attack has not unfolded. During the attack itself, of course, such actions will not have the desired result.

How to reduce the risks of developing hysterical reactions in routine life:

rest and stable (but flexible) regimen;
preventing overwork of children (the so-called early development does not always bring the desired results);
allocating sufficient time for the child to do his own business: games, drawing, etc.;
help the child express his feelings in an acceptable way - through speech, do not forget that it is necessary not only to listen, but also to recognize the emotions of the child: confirm his rights to resentment, anger and other unpleasant experiences so that the child feels accepted;
by the age of three, learn to give more freedom to the child, do not try to do everything for him - for many children, it is precisely this overprotective behavior that leads to tantrums;
leave the child the right to choose;
in the absence of a choice, clearly communicate to the child what is to be done and will be done;
when crying - ask the child to do something simple, and do not try to feel sorry for him every time (although, of course, this is also necessary).

Hysterical reactions at 1.5-2 years

Up to 2 years of age, tantrums in children are most often the result of fatigue or tension, since the nervous system is still actively developing. Closer to 2.5 years, moody behavior and tantrums become a way of manipulating and expressing disagreement.

By this time, children already partially understand the meaning of the words “no, I can’t, I don’t want” and begin to actively use them to express disagreement. But at the same time, the child still does not have enough speech skills to fully express his disagreement, and understanding this, children choose the only form of behavior available to them - hysteria. But, neither the immediate satisfaction of the child's requirements, nor harsh punishments will give a full-fledged result.

- how to calm him down? The two most common mistakes are attempts to rationally persuade the baby to calm down (do you think a two-year-old child is able to heed the arguments of logic?), Or “throwing” him with a phrase like “that’s it, mom is leaving.”

In the first case, you give an incentive to continue the tantrum, and in the second, you can severely injure the child (scare him), which can lead him to lose confidence in the world (in the person of significant adults) and further become an impetus for the development of uncertainty, fears, anxiety and closure.

It is enough to be near the child, to support him, but not to persuade, and even more so - not to leave. Quite often, a silent presence is enough to stop a tantrum quite successfully. Moreover, do not try to satisfy the child's demands - because this will show him that protest in the form of hysteria is the perfect means to achieve what he wants and blackmail parents.

Punishment is also not the best way to solve the problem, since it can only aggravate the child's condition. During a tantrum, a cold presence is enough, and after her passage of a full-fledged conversation with the child, why this happened, what he wanted, and how it could have been done differently.

The fundamental point - do not deprive the child of communication, because it is through communication that development occurs, and for the child this is a sure indicator of your love for him.

Hysterical reactions at 3 years

Many parents notice that this is the period when the child literally forgets all the words except “I don’t want” and “no”. This is the first period of rebellion and disagreement in the life of a child, when he realizes that he is a separate person. Tantrums during this period are not uncommon and the wisest decision in these conditions is to distract the child's attention from the subject of the tantrum and communicate with him.

But again, diverting the attention of the child is a preventive measure, during an attack that has already unfolded, this will not help, here it remains only to wait out the storm and again discuss what happened with the child.

In such situations, it is important to maintain one's own balance. For example, one of the consulted mothers developed the following behavioral strategy: during a tantrum, she simply told the child that she would be happy to talk to him about what he wanted when he calmed down and continued to do his own thing (without leaving the child). After several “unsuccessful” seizures, the child independently called his mother for a conversation.

Is treatment needed?

We have come to a very subtle point - the need for professional intervention in the family situation and the behavior of the child. As we have already said, up to a certain point, tantrums are a normal phenomenon, which disappears by 4-5 years. For example, the question often arises of how to calm a newborn child during a tantrum; there is only one answer - no way. Babies and newborns only cry (as a form of hysteria) are able to express the unfavorable state of their condition, whether it be hunger, incorrect temperature conditions or lack of communication. All of these are normal reactions.

How to calm a tantrum in a child of 2-3 years old is more or less clear, while by the older preschool age (closer to 6 years old), tantrums can become frankly manipulative or pathological.

If, through hysterical behavior, a child constantly strives to achieve his goals, then the need arises to diagnose the entire system of family relations. In this case, it seems logical to contact a systemic family therapist to identify the causes and ways to eliminate the problem.

In this case, the reason will lie not so much in the child himself, but in the mother-child-father relationship system, and it is likely that family relations will need to be corrected and a new system of interaction between parents and children will literally be built.

If pathological relationships are not corrected in a timely manner, then in the future the child may experience serious problems in the school sphere.

With hysterical reactions that are not openly demanding, especially by the age of 6, it is worth considering that the problem lies in the child himself. In this case, it is worth showing the child to a specialist in child development and child pathopsychology in order to conduct a subtle diagnosis and assess the possibility of developing a hysterical disorder, or to diagnose hidden pathologies.

As a rule, by the age of 6-7, children master a wide range of ways to express their discontent and protest, and hysterical reactions fade into the background and gradually fade away.

Until the age of six, hysterical reactions (if they are not regular) are a more or less normal type of child's reaction to problem situations, but if such behavior persists at later ages, we recommend that you contact the appropriate specialists for advice.