I don't want to live after the breakup. How to live after a breakup? Happily? useful "NOT" in a situation where the guy left and you need to live on

Sometimes relationships between lovers come to a standstill. When the couple realizes that love is gone and there is no desire to return it, they part. But it often happens that it is not love that leaves, but a loved one. One way or another, parting brings mental suffering to both. Women are especially hard hit. How to live on if the guy left? How to cope with your emotions, find the strength to turn this page in your life?

From this article you will learn:

Why did it happen that the guy left, and how to live with it

How to get through the hardest part of a breakup

What to do after you have fully realized the situation that the guy left and you need to move on

What to do if you want to return the guy who left you

What to do if you want to forget the guy who left you forever

What You Shouldn't Do If Your Boyfriend Dumped You

Why did the guy leave, and how to live with it

When a guy quit, you need to think about the reasons for his decision. Of course, every girl begins to be tormented by thoughts about how good she is, how much she gives love to him, for which he did this to her. But this is not the main thing - it is important why this happened to you.

Both are always to blame. Let not equally, but the fault lies with both.

When a guy leaves for another girl, it means that he did not receive love, affection, understanding and much more - he was not happy with you.

When he simply breaks off relationships, and does not replace them with others, he is tired of constant swearing and scandals. Just feeling cool.

Or maybe your fault is not so insignificant? Perhaps he found out about the betrayal or revealed your deceit?

That's what a girl needs to figure out when a guy left her in order to correct mistakes (if it's not too late), to try to "glue" the relationship. Or realize the inevitability of what is happening and stop clinging to the past, turn the page and decide how to live on.

It is required to give an objective, devoid of emotional coloring, an adequate assessment of the reasons for the breakup of relations. Close people will help with this - sister, girlfriend, mother. A good psychologist will be the best assistant in this situation.

If the reasons for the breakup were resentment, frequent conflicts or minor faults, then you can fix everything. Talk to your loved one, try to convince in your firm decision to remove these annoying factors from your relationship. Promise to be a good girl and become one. A date in a quiet cozy place, a beautiful dress, stylish make-up and sincere words spoken from the heart, with great tenderness and warmth - this is what will melt the ice in the heart of a loving person.
This scheme does not work only in two cases: he does not love you or left for another woman. There is nothing you can do about it, you will have to retreat, no matter how much you love him. Numerous female tricks can help bring back such a guy, but only physically. He will never be with you in soul and will not begin to love. Do you need it? It's better to let him go. You will calm down and find true love.

These tips may seem like mockery. You climb on the ceiling in pain, the guy left you, you don’t know how to live on! And here they offer to enjoy a new life, rejoice and have fun. As long as the wound is fresh, it will be. But over time, an understanding will come of how effective this technique is. She works! Otherwise, the suffering will last indefinitely, exhausting spiritual strength, paralyzing the will to live. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, take action. Become a happy person! After all, life has not ended, and there are still so many pleasant events ahead, including new love.

How to survive the first emotional period after the guy left

Humility and Overcoming.

Mental pain is similar in strength to physical pain. What do they do when something hurts? They try by any means to muffle it, to get rid of unpleasant sensations. In the course are pills, injections, operations ...

So it is with emotional pain - you frantically sort through all sorts of options, embark on adventures, beg him not to leave. Do everything to keep him with you. This is a completely normal, predictable reaction to a breakup.

So, the main task facing the girl who was abandoned by the guy is to protect herself from herself. Restrain the desire to return the guy at all costs, do not try to blackmail and deceive him to tie him to yourself, force yourself to come to terms with reality.

Avoid contact with an ex-boyfriend.

Under no pretext, do not call and do not seek meetings in order to find out the reasons for the breakup, do not be interested in his fate. At least until the pain passes and the passions in the soul subside.

Delete his contacts.

Final and irrevocable. Everybody. Even a simple click on the “delete” button has a healing effect on a spiritual wound. Let viewing contacts that do not have his name shock you. But it acts soberingly, it will save you from the temptation to call him.

grieve a little.

Give yourself permission to grieve a little, especially if you can’t suppress this desire for a long time. You continue to love this person, the relationship was dear to you. Yes, the guy left, but the feelings have not cooled down in your heart.

Mourning consists of seven periods, following each other:

Questions torment you, you are trying to find out the reasons for what happened. Why did the guy quit? How to live on? You are looking for answers. You ask relatives and friends, pester friends and acquaintances with questions, ask your ex.
You deny the obvious. It is difficult to accept the fact of parting, you hope that love will help restore the old relationship. You so sincerely believe in this that you completely drive thoughts of a final break.
Bargain. You offer him compromise solutions that will help to live on, to maintain relationships. You promise a lot, including becoming an ideal partner for your loved one. It seems to you, and you tell him about this, that you are able to bear full and sole responsibility for the relationship, thereby trying to bargain for his consent to stay next to you.
Exacerbation phase. You can get a second chance. Not all guys can withstand such an onslaught and often give in to the pleas of the girl. However, this is not dictated by love for her, but by weakness of character. Naturally, nothing good comes of this, but only makes you once again experience the pain and disappointment of parting.
stage of anger. It comes when you have overcome the fear of loneliness, the pain has dulled, the turmoil subsided. The guy left you, but what did you really lose? Did he give a lot? It became clear to you that you were deprived of love and care in these relationships. You deserve more. Basically, it's not a big loss. Anger settles in a devastated soul - at oneself, at him, at the circumstances.
Adoption. You agree with the breakup, you understand that this is the final break. The guy quit and there's nothing you can do about it. Then attempts to resuscitate "a patient who is more dead than alive" cease.
New hopes. Only by accepting the fact of a break in relations, having gone through all the "seven circles of hell", can a girl boldly look into the future. There she is waiting for love, devotion and understanding. She will be happy there. Now she can hope so.

Set clear deadlines for the "funeral of love."

Grief, apathy, inaction are the eternal companions of unhappy love. When a guy dumps you, you don't know how to move on with your life. You have to learn to be alone again.

Give yourself time for blues, longing and doing nothing. Determine the exact date when you shake off the veil of alienation from yourself, take control of your life into your own hands. When that day (the end of the period of mourning) comes, you will firmly say: “Enough, enough is enough for me! I won't waste another minute of my life longing for the past." Then your life will be filled with meaning. Then it will become clear how to live on.

Take him out of your life.

While the hope for a resumption of relations is glimmering in your soul, you keep his things, memories, gifts, love correspondence, etc. And if it became clear that love was irretrievably gone, you need to get rid of this “legacy”. Do it without regret. You can not throw them away if you are not ready for this yet, but put them in a box and put them away from your eyes.

If the guy left, how to live on after realizing what happened

Abandoned, abandoned women are many. Everyone experiences a breakup with a loved one in their own way. When a guy left, everyone decides for herself how to live on. Some "sprinkle ashes on their heads", others immediately find a replacement.

However, starting a full life after a breakup is not so difficult. It is more difficult to accept and mourn the "loss". If you have done this, then you just need to follow the following recommendations:

Sleep with your pain.

Mental pain cannot be blocked in the hidden parts of the heart. It will fester and break out, transforming into severe psychological disorders. Suffering must be recognized, felt, carried through the soul and heart. It is necessary to give them the opportunity to splash out - tears, screams, tantrums. Do not skimp on emotions - this is the case when excessive emotionality is beneficial.

Tell everyone your story.

The guy left, life is over, everything around is crumbling. Of course, you want to talk about it - do not forbid yourself from it. Tell your friends, relatives. By phone, social networks, email, skype and viber - use all available means of communication. You need to talk, the more the better.

Don't repeat your story.

Tell everyone your story once, and never come back to it again. Do not become a whiner who retells his misfortune for years. Such women do not cause any sympathy. It's annoying, people avoid talking to them.

Understand your feelings.

It is important to understand exactly what exactly scares you in the future. Your low self-esteem, shaken financial situation or the loss of a sexual partner - what causes you great pain, increases suffering? Having dealt with this, it is possible to mobilize forces to solve this particular problem. Here's what will help a girl who was dumped by a guy pull herself together and decide how to live on.

Become independent.

Before meeting him, you were independent, you independently planned your life, made decisions. You had everything that is inherent in a full-fledged self-sufficient person. Remember this feeling - it's wonderful. Try to realize that you are now an independent woman again.

Thank fate for what happened.

Can we think of this? The girl was abandoned by the guy, she does not know how to live on, and she is advised to thank fate, providence?

Yes! Thank fate for divorcing you from this guy. It doesn't matter if this person is good or bad - he did not appreciate you.

First of all, now there is no need to measure your actions with his desires, all the time to try to please him, not to let him down, not to disappoint him. You do a lot for him and for his sake, but he does not appreciate you. If your sacrifices do not matter to him, is it worth it to continue? Finally, you are free in your actions.

Secondly, it seemed that with his arrival your life was filled with meaning. The departure of a loved one is perceived as the loss of the meaning of life. But it's not. With the advent of a stranger, your inner "I" was gradually driven into a far corner. There it withered, decreased and was in complete inactivity. When a guy left you, he gave your "I" a chance to exist. Now that no one is suppressing it, it will grow and get stronger. Now you will definitely know how to live on

Thirdly, the pain and suffering that a girl experiences when a guy leaves her contribute to the purification of karma.

As you can see, even in parting there are many positive aspects. Loneliness and lack of sex - these problems are easily solved by new acquaintances. There is the Internet, numerous marriage agencies are at your service. And no one canceled the old ways of dating.

The guy dumped you. How to live on? If you feel lonely, if you simply physically need a man, listen to the advice of a psychologist, an expert in the psychology of relationships - Yaroslav Samoilov. In the video below, he reveals the secrets of dating to women:

The guy left, how to live on, if you want to return him

In most cases, a woman tries to get a guy back. And often it succeeds, lovers converge again and build new relationships. But before that, she needs to find the strength to forgive the guy's previous sins.

How to correct your behavior so as not to make the same mistakes?

Don't hang on to him. Too energetic rapprochement can frighten. First, show restraint that borders on ignoring. This will give him time to think it over again and make sure that he made the right decision. Well, or vice versa, to understand that the second time will not be as cordial and warm as the first. It all depends on the strength of his love for you.
A little later, you can ask for a meeting. Avoid tearful messages with oaths and promises. Just ask to meet.
The first meeting after parting should remain in his memory. Pleasantly surprise him with your impeccable appearance, calmness and prudence. If the reason for the breakup was your coldness and inattention to him, then here stand before him as an affectionate, caring, tenderly loving partner. Take an interest in his affairs, ask about his health, mood, etc.
If he refuses to meet, do not insist. It's not mature yet, more time needs to be given. Be patient a little, then call again.
He is ready to meet - this is the first victory. Tell us what's new in your life - you signed up for something courses, a trip is planned, there are new acquaintances ... But everything should look not like an attempt to show that you have changed, but so that it can be seen that you are working on yourself. Whether he is in your life or not, you will continue to improve.

How to move on and forget the guy who dumped you

In cases where the decision is made not to return anything, the girl should slightly change her behavior. Here are some simple tips on how to get over the guy who dumped you and get rid of the memories.

You still love him, but he's gone. He felt bad and took you out of his life. Now you feel bad, and you must get rid of this feeling. It is difficult to call your sufferings and experiences love - selfishness, loss of faith in yourself, a decrease in self-esteem. Anything but love. Take care of yourself - erase the memories of past relationships.
Psychological, emotional, mental problems are perfectly solved by strong employment. Spend all your time working and studying. Become a workaholic for a while. This is a very effective way to switch, not to dwell on your problems.
Avoid dating your ex. If you already met, be restrained, smile. Forget that in front of you is the same guy who dumped you.
Understand that your suffering does not touch him, you spoil your life and ruin your health.
Even free time from work fill with new interests. When in the evening the head is not occupied with anything, one can easily fall into despair, yearn and mope. An interesting hobby will distract your thoughts.

The tips are simple, one might say banal, but it is difficult to follow them. You will need willpower and, more importantly, a sincere desire and a firm decision not to restore the relationship. Having made your choice, you will understand how to live on, how to calmly go through a difficult period. As a bonus, you will receive invaluable experience.

7 useful "NOT" in a situation when the guy left and you need to move on

NOT go back to your past.

The shock situation, when a guy leaves and you don’t know how to live on, is strongly reflected in the girl’s personal qualities. Everything changes, and so does she. She will never be the same again. Before meeting her beloved, her life was different. And all previous life experience turns out to be absolutely useless when the period of parting comes.

Then she was lonely, waiting for great love, she tried to enter into a relationship with her lover as soon as possible. Everyone dreams about it. Experiencing a lack of love and attention from their parents since childhood, girls rush into the pool with their heads. They are trying to realize their childhood fantasies together with their beloved boyfriend. But he is not ready to become a wizard who fulfills her desires. As a result, high hopes turn into huge disappointments.

There is no experience of parting in the past, so there is no point in looking for your former self. Everything was there except love. Now there is love, but not everything else.

NOT beware of change.

Willingly or unwittingly, but by leaving the guy did you a great favor. A new period is coming in your life, and his act will give you an impetus to move in this direction. After all, what happened? You had a beautiful love story, even if it didn't end well. He made me believe in myself, that you can be carried away, you can be loved. His mission is complete, it's time to move forward.

You need to be ready for change. Sometimes they can be global: change of specialty, place of work (especially if the former works there). Sometimes cities, countries, friends, circle of interests, etc. change. Everything depends on the opened prospects and the potential of opportunities.

The main thing is not to be afraid of change, boldly move forward.

NOT use the "wedge by wedge" tactics.

When a guy dumps, your ego is hurt. I would like to show him and those around him that you are interesting to men, they love you, they want to stay close to you. New novels begin, which end just as quickly, replacing each other. It cannot be otherwise, because such relationships are not fueled by either love or tenderness. Only the girl's desire to raise her own self-esteem. She turns into a prudent bitch who keeps several candidates "in reserve". From time to time she throws them, then comes back again ...

Nothing good will come from such behavior.

NOT destroy photos.

Old photographs contain important information. She is unique and inimitable. This is a part of your life that you will never return to.

Looking through them, after some time, people understand how and how much they have changed. Many events and experiences associated with them no longer seem so tragic. You understand that you “grew” out of this love, remember with a smile the horror and despair that once tormented your soul after parting.

Fold the photos in a box and put in a secluded place. Just like you hid in the far corner of your heart the memories of a past love.

Now you know for sure - you managed to adequately get out of this relationship, not break down when the guy left, and understand how to live on.

NOT merging into a single whole, but the intersection of interests.

See what happens to a woman in love. Plunging deeper into the relationship, she lets in a part of her lover's personality. In the soul of a woman in love, as on a microchip, information about his personality is stored - smells, gestures, actions, habits, manners, etc. Over time, the volume of information increases, gradually crowding out the girl's own individuality. She lives his life, his desires, his aspirations.

So, when a guy quit, the realization of the above fact will help you choose the right path. No merging of souls, only the intersection of interests! There are boundaries of one's own individuality that cannot be violated.

NOT forget to learn a useful lesson from what happened.

The situation when a guy left and you don’t know how to live on is stressful. Once having experienced these emotions, you must draw the appropriate conclusions. What exactly?

Most importantly, in a new relationship there should not be a general and total unity with a partner. Keep the sovereignty of your inner "I", do not put all of yourself on the altar of love without a trace. Not everything coming from a guy, even a dearly loved one, should penetrate your soul, become part of your personality.

In the pool with your head - it's not about you. You have learned how to filter information. Not everything related to your beloved guy will enter your life!

NOT hope that he will be your support. Count only on yourself.

Once you have already searched for and, as it seemed to you, found support in a previous relationship. You completely trusted him. And what is the result? The guy left you, you do not know how to live on.

Find a foundation for the future - an interesting job, children, joint rest, a well-established life. Now they will come first for you, not your favorite guy.

Thank you for reading this article to the end

Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy halves, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.

More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.

My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

Hello. My name is Natalya. My boyfriend and I were together for three years. We broke up two months ago. I'm desperate. I don't want to live. Please tell me, will he come back to me?

Hello, Natalia. First of all, you need to accept the situation as it is. No need to take sin on your soul with thoughts that you do not need life. Men in a woman's life are only a part. Yes, it's hard, yes, it hurts. But everything in the world is coming. Who knows, maybe your boyfriend has already played a major role in your life and cleared the way for something new and absolutely necessary for you.

Possible reasons for his departure may be the features of your character. You are a powerful person who is used to commanding others. This is not a disadvantage. It's just your innate trait. Although you can exercise flexibility in this case in full. Also, your boyfriend is very conservative. Basically you are too. In this you are somewhat similar. But he is doubly inclined to ensure that everything is the way he thinks is right. And now impose your desire to command on this ... Consider this moment in your further relations, even with him, at least with someone else. And to the question: will he return to you, life will answer you.

Question to the psychologist:

Recently I met a guy, everything was fine, and in the end they began to tell me that he was cheating on me, it turned out to be twice, well, of course, after that I left him. I cried and still cry because of him. Started smoking, smoked for months (1-2, I'm quitting now)

I fell into depression, I cry a lot, I became very rude, I didn’t care about anything.

Now I think about suicide, I cut my hands with a blade and I like it

I like to hurt myself, it feels like I'm going crazy. Am I becoming a masochist?

And my best friend somehow closed herself from me, she has other good friends, I’m very afraid of losing her, but she stopped telling me anything, we always quarrel because of me .. I don’t know, can I talk to her honestly?

I don’t know what will happen to me if I lose the person dearest to me, you just understand, when she cries, I cry too, this has never happened to me before. No one was as dear to me as she was.

I began to lash out at my parents very often, almost always yelling at them.

And I don’t think that something will help me to become happy, and somehow I don’t hope for it.

I think about suicide a lot

It seems that if I die, I will not suffer anymore, there will be no more tears, pain, hatred, etc.

I cry everyday for everything

Everything is just tired, it's too hard for me that I can't handle it all

And I don't think I'll be here soon...

Relations with parents were always good, well, yes, sometimes there were disagreements, but they quickly reconciled. And now, almost every day, we quarrel recently, dad burned that I smelled of smoke and found out that I smoke, yelled at me, I cried, closed myself in my room and began to cut my veins, but I haven’t touched the veins more than once, because I’m afraid to leave dad and mom here, I'm afraid what they can do after my death ... they will suffer a lot

Mom and dad don't drink, don't smoke, nothing.

The first time I cried at school, all my classmates were shocked, because I have always been such a strong girl, not when I didn’t show weakness, but here I just went into hysterics and several times ..

The psychologist answers the question.

Greetings, Yaroslav!

Many believe that tears are for the weak. Common misconception. Science has long proven that all the natural processes of the human body play an important role for it. We are born with the ability to cry. For example, for an infant, crying is the only way to get attention. Tears are a reaction of a person, his body to moments of life, circumstances, situations that are extremely difficult for the psyche. Tears help our psyche to cope with a difficult situation. It is also known that emotional tears can normalize blood pressure, increase the body's resistance to disease and “wash out” stress. Relationship breakdown - stress, trauma, crisis. Why are they given? For our growth and development. Each person throughout his life grows, develops through the so-called stresses, traumas, crises and stable periods. Smoking, quarrels with parents and a girlfriend, "cutting veins" suggests that your life has come another, new crisis, a crisis of growth, development, call it what you want, "teenage crisis", "hormone riot", but from which already now it is necessary to go out and out neither your parents nor your girlfriend, namely you. "Rage of hormones", "teenage crisis" is given to a person literally for one thing - to move to a new level, to grow up. This crisis helps a person learn to manage himself, his thoughts and feelings, his behavior, to learn as many facets as possible to start at least seven spheres of life, your life, your future life. In other words, it helps to lay the foundation, the foundation for the future. There was nothing left, literally five, six years. From the age of twenty-one, a person, regardless of age, must fly out of the parental nest, bud from his parents and begin his independent flight called independent life. Whichever door you go through, that's where you'll go. Where and what are you going to, Yaroslava? You decide!

Has your man left you? This happens quite often and many have had to endure the despair and resentment that accompanies such a separation. It constantly sounds in my head, as if on a broken tape recorder: “For what? For what?.. ”Today we will try to at least somehow help you in this situation and tell you what to do so that such a crisis passes as soon as possible.

Probably every woman at least once in her life faced with such a nuisance as parting with a loved one. And this is really a very, very difficult test even for the strongest woman. And the only question that arises in the head of a woman during this period is how to survive after parting with a loved one? From the outside, this question may seem completely delusional. But those who have experienced this pain themselves will understand the urgency of this problem.

After all, in fact, the life of a woman after a break with a loved one for some time practically stops. Interest is lost literally in everything - in work, in their hobbies, in children, if they have any, in their appearance, and ultimately in food. Fortunately, in most cases this negative period does not last that long - two to three weeks, after which the woman begins to slowly recover. But, alas, this is far from always the case - some of the fair sex for a very long time fail to pull themselves together. And this already threatens with quite real problems - for example, prolonged depression.

In no case should this be allowed - you need to start acting. Folk wisdom says that grief cannot be helped with tears. And this is true, unfortunately or fortunately. So wipe your tears, throw out your handkerchiefs, and forward to a brighter future. Of course, no one requires you to sing songs and give your radiant smiles in the very first days after the break.

Do you want to cry? Cry! Do you want to kill all the dishes in the house? Cheers, then buy a new one. Does your soul require to cut to shreds all things reminiscent of the former? Scissors to help you! Psychologists call this state a surge of negative emotions. And this is the most important stage on the path to recovery, which means that it is necessary to go through it. Yes, and you will be much easier, you'll see!

Realize what happened

The first few days after the breakup, the woman cannot realize what happened. In psychology, this phenomenon is called the “period of denial”. No, with her brains, a woman perfectly understands what happened, but on an emotional level she refuses to believe in it. And until she believes, she will not be able to break out of this emotional state of hers.

Roared? Now sit down, stop crying for at least a minute and tell yourself the following - you, or rather, with you, broke off relations. The rupture of any relationship is almost always difficult to endure, and with two partners at once in a pair. And despite the fact that it was your ex-man who broke off the relationship, it is hardly easier for him now than for you. Oddly enough, but for most women, this gloating thought warms the soul. And that is true - you are not the only one to suffer? You have to take this current situation from this point of view.

Your subconscious mind refuses to believe in what is happening and no exhortations and attempts of common sense to get through to you do not help? Well, you have to act more drastically. To begin with, remove from prominent places all things reminiscent of your ex-man. All the same folk wisdom says that out of sight - out of mind. If your hand doesn’t rise to throw everything away, then at least collect everything in one box and put it away.

Of course, in the event that your husband left you, it will not be easy to do this - you can’t stuff the whole apartment into a closet. But you can also find a way out in this situation - go to your mother for a couple of days or even go to a rest home. By the way, at the same time change the situation, which will also only benefit you, mind you.

Have no illusions

Psychologists say that the most difficult time immediately after the breakup is the first six weeks. It is important that this time period can be significantly reduced only if you firmly decide for yourself that this is the real end. Understand - let him go! Let it not be your fault, but only his decision. Don't hold back your tears. Cry enough, but do not forget to repeat to yourself a thousand times: “Yes, gone! He's gone forever!" And now, uttered for the thousand and first time, this phrase will once again cease to dominate you.

And with this, as a rule, very serious problems arise - almost every woman for a very long time hopes that a man will come to his senses and will definitely return to her, realizing what he has lost. And as long as a woman thinks about this, and not about how to start a new life after parting, she will not be able to get rid of mental anguish.

Pay attention to this! Such an understanding of the current situation is quite important. Therefore, if you manage and understand that this is really the end, then it is already worth a lot. Consider that this is the first victory, the first battle won in the war in the name of yourself. Become a strong person - a woman who knows how to cope with difficulties. And parting for her is nothing more than another, completely eliminated problem. You can get back on your feet and continue on your way, no matter what happens.

And if you continue to wait for the return of your prince, you will continue to wear down your already exhausted psyche. Is it worth it? As practice shows, less than a third of all men who broke off relations on their own initiative return. In addition, it is very important to ask yourself one simple question - do you really need this return? And more importantly, answer it honestly. After all, you perfectly understand that the betrayer once is likely to betray again. Are you ready to live permanently, as if on a powder keg?

How to reduce pain?

Do not forget that your main goal is the most painless way out of this failed relationship. First of all, you must maintain your individuality and respect for yourself. And if you yourself became the initiator, then, for sure, you do not want to suffer remorse and want to forget about everything as soon as possible. In that case, read on:

Diary

In the event that you have never been particularly talkative, and sharing your problems with someone is somehow not in your habits, then you should start a personal diary. The diary is perhaps one of the best and most effective methods to get rid of all sorts of grievances, sad memories and depressing thoughts once and for all. You can easily get rid of the burden of piled problems.

Your diary is not only an excellent listener and interlocutor who is always with you in difficult moments of parting, but also a wonderful psychotherapist. In addition, the thought written on paper becomes clearer and more precise and easier to understand. As soon as you pour out all your grievances, insults and torments, they will immediately turn into the past and go away from you. Emotions and experiences no longer dominate the soul and seem to release you to freedom. You seem to take off, and calmness, self-control and common sense return to you again.

Very often you can hear the advice to burn everything written, thus trying to get rid of the negativity. But many psychologists say that you will already throw out the negative on paper, and re-reading about your current emotional state later, when everything stabilizes, will not only be very entertaining, but also useful. Just be careful that the diary does not fall into the wrong hands - there is no need for outsiders to delve into your dirty laundry, right?

openness

Being alone with your problems is hard enough. This will prolong the recovery period after a breakup even longer. Don't lock yourself in. Tell your problems to as many people around you as possible. Psychoanalysis calls this approach the "method of dissipating grief." After a fairly short period of time, you will feel sufficient lightness, as if a stone has fallen from your soul. Chat with your girlfriends. They will listen to you and give you some advice.

Self talk

It's always nice to talk to a smart person, isn't it? And besides, it is also very useful! Sit comfortably in front of a mirror. Then try to talk to yourself. Tell yourself about your problems. Psychologists say that this kind of therapy is very successful in dealing with depression and stress.

By the way, while practicing near your mirror, end the session with a facial expression lesson. Make yourself a funny face, and your mood will immediately go uphill. Just try to convince yourself that the problem is not worth a damn. And with such a trifle, you can definitely handle it.

Strengthen your body

Remember: our mental and mental state is directly related to our body. By playing sports and training your body, you will be able to cope with other problems. Work until you lose momentum. It doesn’t matter how you load yourself: you can do strength training, running, fitness, or start a general cleaning with furniture rearrangement in all rooms and general repairs.

Never mind! The main thing is that you exercise physically. In some cases, it is useful to shout loudly or sob uncontrollably. The main task is to let off steam, let negative emotions come out, do not accumulate inside you, do not store them, otherwise they will gradually destroy you from the inside. Yes, and at night you will sleep much better - you simply will not have the strength to cry into the pillow.

Work! Work! Work!

Plunge into the work with your head. It's just a magical method for solving all problems. Parting with a loved one will pass much faster and more imperceptibly for you. Actively working, you will forget about your troubles and problems, distract from them. Yes, work has another invaluable plus - it is not only psychotherapy, but also a way to earn money, which means you get a double benefit. And maybe even a promotion up the career ladder.

Treat yourself

Not only psychiatrists, but also other doctors are confident that regular exercise helps relieve stress. Better get over yourself and go to a fitness club or gym. Don't forget fresh air. Nature also has healing properties. Go for a walk in the park. Treat yourself! Reread a book you love or watch a good movie. Pay attention to yourself.

Dress smartly, even if you don't want to go anywhere that evening. Just stay at home and cook what you like for dinner. Or go to friends, take part in fun and noisy parties - this way you will distract yourself from sad thoughts. Your life should not stop and freeze. There must be events and changes.

Meditation

Did you know that meditation is a great way to replace the never-drying rivers of tears with something. A meditative state, calm and relaxed, allows you to achieve peace and clarity. During meditation, recovery occurs several times faster than even during sleep. And it does not matter that you have not come across this before - go to study, fortunately, there are a great many such centers.

Nutrition

is also an important point in the treatment of depression and depression. You must always eat right. Only in the cinema the main character, after another parting, is saved by a ton of chocolate and a pood of marmalade. In life, it is better to give up spicy and sweet altogether if you want to quickly return to normal and forget about depression. All kinds of fruits and vegetables, mineral water and natural juices will help you and are simply necessary for a speedy recovery. But if you want to prolong the life of your neurosis, then continue to eat kilograms of cakes, singing all this with red wine.

spring-cleaning

Throw out everything superfluous from your house, even that which is in no way connected with your ex-man. Do you want to start a new life? So, it is necessary to part with any reminders of her. By the way, ideally it would be nice to do repairs and replace furniture. Of course, if your financial capabilities allow it.

Goals and achievements

You should recover from the loss and take care of yourself. Set yourself the goal of returning to a new life - a life without him. Try to remember who you were before him, what occupied and worried you to a greater extent, what you would like to do, and what dreams you put aside then. Today you have a rare and wonderful opportunity to express your personality by following your desires.

You should not dream of revenge - such a reaction will not give you the desired relief, but will only reopen old wounds. It should be understood that a smart, strong and adult woman, personalities and personality, able to endure a breakup. And in general it is enough to think about it and constantly cry!

Remember all the insults that he inflicted on you during your relationship with him, all the prohibitions. Now put on the red short dress that has always been your favorite, and he forbade you to wear it, because it seemed vulgar to him. Call the best friend he forbade you to talk to because he said she was stupid. And go for a walk and have fun in a club or somewhere else. Be sure to be with your best friends and girlfriends, to whom he was jealous of you and with whom he forbade communication. Life is great without it! It's even much better! So don't procrastinate and start your new and, most importantly, happy life!

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