Good day!
Cleaning the friend list is a tedious but necessary task. You need to be able to get rid of useless things, broken toys, sad memories and unnecessary people. So what are the criteria for making a choice in favor of deleting a friend?
1. He is not your friend
The reason is obvious, but many overlook it. You met a person online, or you knew each other a long time ago, or you met once in your life, but decided to add each other. You talked at the very beginning of your contact friendship, and now this comrade hangs like a dead weight and does not show any activity. You may think that this acquaintance will be useful to you sometime in the future, but this is about the same as storing old skis on the balcony: there is no benefit, but your eyes are callous.
2. You can't stand this person in life
Perhaps this is your classmate, whom you always could not stand, but were forced to share the same desk with him for several years, or the brother of your best friend who pushed you into a puddle as a child. And now it seems that everyone has grown up, past grievances have been forgotten, but the sediment remains. However, you added each other as friends because you have a lot of mutual acquaintances and have some kind of common past. But if a person is disgusting to you in real life, do you need to make concessions on social networks? Maybe it's easier to click "delete"?
3. You don't remember who it is
This often happens: they added a person and forgot about him, and then the revision reveals an unidentified person in the list of friends. You can, of course, ask a person how he knows you, but perhaps your memory decided not to save this file, because there was nothing interesting and useful in it.
4. This is your ex and you broke up
It is worth mentioning that you did not part with friends, but with screams, scandal and a broken heart. Although even if the gap was by mutual agreement, it is worth removing the person so as not to ruffle the nerves of yourself and him with photographs with new passions and changes in the joint venture. Still, most of us are owners, and such information can be painful.
5. Zadolbal!
A person writes to you a lot and often, comments on everything that can be reached, urgently demands attention and answers - yes, most likely you are interesting and attractive to him, but such importunity is very tiring. If transparent hints about the need to leave you alone do not work, it is better to simply reduce your list of friends by one annoying character.
6. You owe him money
It's mean, of course, but some do it. For example, scammers who collect money from all the compassionate users on their friends list, and then send them to the blacklist.
7. He refreshes the page too often
It is very difficult to be friends with active users: the status updates every five minutes, hundreds of photos are constantly added, new friends appear, comments and new topics pop up every now and then. As a result, your news is occupied by this Stakhanovist of Contact. But I also want to learn something new about others! It’s easier to bookmark such a friend so as not to lose sight of it, but to remove it from friends, having previously explained the reason.
8. You learned something about him that you can't put up with.
He slept with your girlfriend. Or is a Spartak fan, while you only recognize blue-white-blue colors. Or he tells fascinating stories behind your back with you in the title role, after which your friends saw you in a completely different and by no means rosy light. What is friendship like after that? This can't be tolerated, so Adios, amigo!
9. He's your boss and he fired you
It happens. It seems that the relationship was normal, and he commented on your photos from Turkey, and suddenly once - and goodbye. There is no point in raising his rating and giving gifts anymore, so you can safely remove the former boss from your page and from your life.
10. A friend deleted you himself
Here is the beast! You were sitting in the same sandbox, hitting each other on the head with shovels, and he took and crossed out these happy memories. So what if you have nothing in common. Doesn't shared childhood count? You need to take revenge for this: add him as a friend again and delete him. Let the last word be yours!
Thousands of friends is, of course, cool. But isn't it better if there are fewer of them, but they really will be your friends, or at least those with whom you are pleased to communicate, whose opinion you care about? Extra junk, including in the list of friends - this is not according to Feng Shui. And yes, it gets in the way.
This is always unpleasant, especially when done quietly and without explanation. Many in justification say "but I do not have to explain myself, my right!". Formally, they are right, but the fact of the matter is that only formally, because in addition to law, there is also morality and conscience. If a person has a minimum of upbringing and a certain amount of conscience, then he will explain the reason, or at least warn him in advance if he is so impatient to remove you. Of course, any analogy is not very accurate, but for example, giving way to old women in public transport is not prescribed by law and there is no corresponding article in the Criminal Code, but a well-mannered and conscientious person will definitely give way, although he is not obliged to do this legally. In social networks, of course, the bar of morality is greatly reduced, but this does not mean that you need to turn into a vile, cynical and insensitive beast, preoccupied only with your own "I"! After all, how easy it is to deal with any problem: plugged into the black list - it's over! If a person gets used to behaving cynically and unceremoniously with friends in Vkontakte, then he will behave the same way in real life. Below I talked about why other people groundlessly refuse friendship on social networks: lack of education is also one of the reasons. Another argument "I delete from friends if a person does not write to me for a long time." Selfishness in its purest form! Why should someone entertain you with long conversations! And if a person has problems in real life, the computer is broken or the Internet is turned off? Did you yourself write at least a couple of words to him in a month?
Personally, during the 3 years of my stay on social networks, I deleted one or two friends, and those were spammers with fake profiles, which I added without understanding. Perhaps I deleted one of them and by mistake. being new to social media was intimidated by scary stories about profile hackers. Now I take it quite calmly and add to my friends without trembling in the knees and pressure surges. So then I wanted to find the person whom I deleted to apologize, but I didn’t find it because his profile disappeared.
I still regret that I offended a person, perhaps in vain, although perhaps he really was a spammer. Now it is impossible to find out.
For all the years of my stay in social networks (and this is Facebook, VKontakte, classmates and mail.ru), I was deleted from friends 10 or 12 times, despite the fact that I only have about 400 friends in all these resources. As I managed to make sure, I was deleted (sent to the black list) by those who are either not friends with the head, or unscrupulous and ill-mannered, or simply dependent on other people's opinions and not very smart people.
Of course, there were also deletions by mistake and misunderstanding ("I misunderstood", "I pressed the wrong button", hacked "), but there are not very many such cases. Of course, I take such things to heart (although I should not, but in my you can’t fix your character at the age), but I quickly move away, although an unpleasant aftertaste remains. On the other hand, such cases clearly show: who is a true friend and who is not. Contact An unpleasant conflict situation occurred, and two of them, believing gossip, removed me from friends without explanation, and when I tried to find out the reason, I was immediately blacklisted by one of them. This is just an example of people who do not have their own opinion, and then that they crossed me out of friends is rather a blessing for me, since I myself am disgusted with being friends with those who sell for 3 kopecks.Later I found out that they were turned against me by one mutual friend, the moderator of the forum with whom I had a discussion and in retaliation, she decided to quarrel with me. Well, what happened so that they made themselves look unsightly and God be their judge. It is possible, of course, that the point is in their youth and immaturity, and therefore the lack of worldly wisdom. I hope they grow up and get smarter.
In conclusion, I will say that such cases, albeit in social networks, say a lot about the personal qualities of users. If someone turns his profile into a kind of mini-sect, where only initiates can get, then with a high probability we can say that this is either an evil person fixated on his person, or a suspicious person with low self-esteem. In general, there is a complex character here. The same can be said about those who unfriend or blacklist without explanation and for no particular reason.
Of course, people with mental disorders also behave this way, but among those with whom I personally encountered, people were more likely to be either evil, overly proud with great conceit, or who did not have their own position at all and acted on someone else's orders. There were also those who driven by emotion rather than reason.
In general, they apparently themselves realized that they were not worthy of my friendship. A joke, of course, but in every joke, as you know, there is some truth.
For me personally, removing one of my friends is the most extreme measure, and I will do it only when I find out for sure that the person is really to blame. Only not very smart people solve relationship problems with such surgical methods, not wanting to begin to explain themselves humanly. For them, their own "ego" is above everything else. As for the blacklist, I sent it there only after dirty insults or threats in me or my loved ones. In my memory, there was only one such case when I got involved in a dispute in one of the VKontakte groups and one of the participants in the discussion (due to the lack of normal argumentation, and simply brains) left obscene comments on my profile photos in retaliation. The girl was distinguished by a special "courage", because. sent me to the black list in advance, apparently afraid of my response. That's when I sent her there too (in the sense of the same black list). But that’s a girl, and a couple of years ago there was a similar case when the forum admin with whom I had a conflict sent a private message (in the same place in VKontakte) with threats against me, also having previously sent me to the black list. Well, oh, very masculine, I must say! Then I also sent this type to the ch.s. so as not to read his nonsense anymore, but after a couple of days he was removed from there because he considered that it was better not to pay attention to such people, and by sending such people to ignore, we inspire them with the idea that we are afraid of them and that they are stronger than us. Returning to the first case - there were dirty insults against my mother and my family in general by a mentally ill person, so ch.s. was necessary, and as for the forum admin who sent the threat, it was not a very smart and childish act, so I did not take it seriously when I realized that I was not quite an adult with immature brains. I will add that at the moment my blacklist is pristine and even that crazy swearing girl is not there. Now it is only for spammers and fakes, and then only for a short time. Only cowardly, vindictive and stupid people keep someone on the black list for years. After all, this is an extra reminder of some past unpleasant situation or quarrel. Why is this needed?
This is about outright insults or threats. If there is nothing of the kind, and you are removed from friends (and without warning) due to the usual difference of opinion or because you rarely write or, finally, because of gossip about you by third parties, this is either selfishness, coupled with heightened self-esteem, or a banal lack of intelligence and education. Apparently, in this way, other users are trying to raise their self-esteem, knowing that someone from the remote ones will worry, ask why, but these comrades will be silent and ignore in response, amusing their pride, so that since they write to them and take offense at being removed from friends, it means their person is still interesting to someone. What else can be said about such people - a kindergarten, and nothing more.
By the way, the notorious "cleaning the friend tape" is another way to attract attention, which is usually used by notorious people with low self-esteem, because among the "cleaned" friends there will definitely be those who will be offended and will start sending emotional letters with puzzled questions. The "cleaner" needs this, because. he is flattered that he is still interesting to someone besides himself or himself.
Answer from
It's just that she either has a boyfriend or is afraid that the one she likes will see your activity on her page) It's logical)
Answer from __Sadness__[guru]
She has a boyfriend and he was jealous of the comment.
Answer from Iinik Misanthrope[guru]
It's simple: she doesn't fucking need you.
Your "likes" were seen by her fucker - and he removed everything manually.
And after the holidays, a detailed conversation with assault awaits you.
Answer from Yergey Ivanov[newbie]
Because it is necessary not to get acquainted in VK (especially if you are from the same university), but in the university itself.
But in fact, maybe she has a boyfriend, and she thought she'd sleep
Answer from Anastasia Belozerskaya[guru]
Wait until the holidays are over and talk to her in real life.
Answer from Diam[guru]
You don't stand a chance.
Answer from If Eli[guru]
Perhaps she has a boyfriend, or she already likes someone. Don't text her again.
Answer from ?? ?
[guru]
I was such a fool. True, we met later, and soon parted. It is clear that either she has a boyfriend, or some kind of relationship is brewing with someone. Probably just being careful. But, if you want some kind of relationship with her, then you should not communicate in VK.
P.s - Perhaps after I got to know her better, I realized that she herself does not know what she wants. She did not develop the relationship further and did not let me go. In the end, I evaporated (left her). There is an annoying kind of girls. In general, you will not have anything good with her if she is like that. So kill it. You will have more girls.
Answer from Lohengrin[guru]
Like pictures - it's not original. That's what EVERYONE does. You need to captivate her with something extraordinary, unusual. Get the girl out in real life and talk. And what about holidays? Do you have a phone? Call and arrange a meeting. If she does, then she really doesn't need you.
Answer from Paul[guru]
Kindergarten because. Removed from friends .. all the end of the world:) Are you serious people? What kind of idiocy is going on. And if Dad and Mom remove you from friends, did they supposedly refuse you?)) Do not pay attention to this primitive nonsense, especially to social networks. Solid show-off and copy-paste. The repost about weight loss and cooking is especially infuriating, and this is from people who weigh 40 kilograms and have never made a single salad in their lives.
And as a conclusion: what kind of stupid manner in situations when the subject writes like a girl, immediately write: "she has a boyfriend", etc.. Is her boyfriend interesting to him? Or maybe he glues it? If he really is, then let him write, if, again, he needs it. Just a star ladies and gentlemen.
Answer from 3 answers[guru]
Hello! Here is a selection of topics with answers to your question: The girl deleted from friends in VK
Anyone who has experienced a breakup at least once in their life knows this feeling of “standing at a crossroads”: to part forever and never meet again, or to continue friendly communication. Since the moment social networks have become a part of life, this problem has become even more acute.
Should I remove "former" friends? What to do with their friends and relatives who are also listed in the friend list? How to resist watching the news and photos that an ex-lover posts?
Delete or leave? i
This is the main question that people who have just experienced a breakup ask themselves. There is only one answer to it - to delete, but not immediately. You need to endure a short pause in order to cool your head, to survive the first wave of anger and resentment.
Maybe this is not parting yet, but only a quarrel. If it’s just a quarrel, it’s a chance to make peace when passions subside a little. Constantly changing the status on the page, deleting and returning friends looks very stupid.
In general, at this time it is better to refrain from using social networks so as not to write and stop communicating with the former, not to create posts about parting, not to inform relatives and friends ahead of time. For messages and posts written on a wave of emotions, you can then make excuses for the rest of your life.
When you managed to calm down a bit and it came to an understanding that this was just a breakup, you can begin to get rid of traces of relationships and you need to start by removing from friends.
Even if they parted “in a good way” without scandals and mutual insults, you still need to remove them from friends at least for a while. So that there is no temptation to visit the page again and again, view news and write messages. You need to distance yourself from the person as much as possible.
Do not go to the pages of the "former" 2
The desire to go to the page of a former loved one can be so strong that even removing from the list of friends is not able to stop going there again and again. This desire must be stopped only by an effort of will. Promise yourself not to follow the updates on the page, and keep yourself to the best of your ability. Gradually, the desire will weaken, and then completely disappear.
Clean up history 3
If you really want to forget your ex or ex, then it is important not only to remove from your list of friends, but also, if possible, remove all posts and photos that remind you of past relationships. Clean up the playlist if there is music that can remind you of a shared past, plans, dreams and hopes.
Leave groups where the ex or ex is also a member, as they may start commenting on posts posted in the group. Do you need such a sudden reminder of a person who needs to be forgotten?
From relatives or friends with whom the former or former communicates closely, it is also better to unsubscribe. If there is “live” communication with these people that goes beyond social networks, it is better to meet in person, explain the situation and say goodbye. If communication does not go beyond virtual reality, you can simply write a message or write nothing and leave without saying goodbye.
If you want to part beautifully - don't do it 4
The first mistake is to post happy selfies and posts about the fact that breaking up is easy to survive and a replacement for the previous relationship is found quickly. Even worse than posts can only be posting memes on this topic on your wall. All these actions are the same cry of despair, as well as tearful posts.
If everything is really good, a person usually has something else to do, except to litter his page and news feed with such messages. Therefore, the best option would be to reduce activity as much as possible.
The second mistake is writing “tearful” breakup messages on your page, the page of the ex or his friends. Starting a public discussion about the personal qualities of an ex or ex and talking about the reasons for the breakup is also a bad idea. Such public suffering causes little sympathy, but dozens and even hundreds of people will be aware of the problems.
Regret that the most intimate was made public on emotions will definitely come, but nothing will be fixed: what got on the Internet will remain on the Internet forever. Therefore, if you want to say something to your ex or ex, relatives or friends, personal messages are enough.
The third mistake is usually the expectation that the ex or ex will be the first to unfriend. This may never happen. Especially if their life goes on. They forgot to think that there are people in their friends with whom communication has been stopped.
Therefore, it is better to delete without waiting for the first step, especially if the constant flickering of photos and messages makes you suffer and get nervous.
Well, if you want to return half, which is typical, as a rule, for girls, then information on how to make peace with a guy will come in handy, follow the link.